I have no idea how this will be received, but I have wondered about this for quite some time. Okay here goes…
Why do many lesbians use dildos, etc, that are modeled upon a male penis? Not just phallic mind you, but realistic models of male genitalia with veins and the lot. As I stated before on a previous thread, I worked in an adult bookstore during a period of extreme poverty during my recent college career :eek: ,and assisted many lesbian customers in selecting various accoutrements. It just always seemed a little contradictory. And for the record, I am a gay male.
IANAL, but I’d speculate they use them because they enjoy them.
Most important thing to remember:
Lesbians are NOT “trying to get away from the whole man thing.” Lesbians like other women.
That is a really important distinction to make Bill Mahr on Politially Incorrect once said “why do lesbians use didlos? I thought they were trying to get away from all that.” It made me cringe. It’s not about rejecting men, it’s about being with women.
Suzie Bright (apologies if I got the name wrong, it’s been awhile) once said: “penetration is only as heterosexual as kissing.” For a lot of women, penetration feels good – end of story.
Not all lesbians use dildos. Not all dildos are modeled after a man’s penis. Some women like dildos that are smooth, some like them textured (some straight women like their men to wear ribbed condoms for added texture ) Some of the “man-like” dildos can fit the bill. I’ve seen vast catalogs that have pages and pages of dildos that bear no resemblance at all to a penis.
So a woman’s choice of dildo will likely depend primarily on her preferences when it comes to penetration, and what the particular store has in stock. Appearance, I’m sure, is secondary.
Thank you Charmian. I don’t subscribe to the “man hating lesbian” nonsense. I was just trying to understand, and admittedly the bookstore I worked in was a small one (and the only one for about 20 miles) with a limited selection so that might have accounted for some of the choices made.
No problem, JMPride. I think people forget that dildos exist because penetration feels good (for many, but not all), and not so much as a penis substitute.
I knew someone who had a lot of left over surgical silicone from an art project, who decided to start making dildos to supplement her income. You should have seen the unusual efforts she went through to get a suitable model. Tried to find a well-endowed male to stick “little Elvis” into a vat of Jeltrate. Casting an existing penis seemed to be the quickest and easiest way to make a mould. Wasn’t quite so simple (“little Elvis” didn’t like to stand at attention once stuck in cold, clammy goo.)
I think in the end she realized she would have been better off designing something fancy herself. Then it could also have a bit more panache!
skids to a halt
Damn, Charmaine said it all. Well, heres a “yeah I agree” post in that case. Being a little Irish prude, I do not generally discuss these matters with my friends, but on the odd drunken occasion when the topic has come up for discussion noone has mentioned having a “realistic” one… Of the (relative minority) of dykes I know who have toys (somewhat lesser amount than my str8 female friends) most have gone with various “wild ‘n’ wacky” models, like crazy space-rocket looking things with glitter in them!
On the question of why some lesbians might buy a “realistic” one? Maybe they were feeling kinky 
Whole world of difference between fantasy and reality, as I am sure noone needs to tell you having worked in an adult store 
Was her name Cynthia Plaster-Caster by chance?
Guin nope. Different person.
Okay, so I used to make prothetic stuff as a theatre props person. So assuming it’s roughly the same process, here’s a quick dildo-making lesson.
Plaster is also not recommended for, er, casting members. Plaster is quite exothermic and as it sets, you can burn to the point of blisters. For the best casts, you use algenate (a brand name is Jeltrate) If you’ve ever had braces on your teeth, it’s the cool goo they use to cast your teeth. Starts out like pancake batter and stiffens to a rubber-like texture. It stays cool and is so accurate it can record your pores.
From the Jeltrate mould (which would be a “negative copy” of your original), you have a few hours to make a duplicate member. (Jeltrate shrinks to 1/3 its original size when it finally dries.) Once you make a new plaster “postive copy” you can then have a master copy of “little Elvis” from which you make new moulds.
The girl I knew was using a surgical grade silicone to then make dildos. I know nothing of this process because I only ever made werewolf make-up and the like.
Iteki no woman I 've ever met who owns a dildo, has one that looks like a penis. Or at least not a human penis, some of them look like weird space alien probes…
And I can honestly say that when it comes to queer vs. str8 dildo owners, it seems to be a pretty even, split.
Charmain, however you should see the ones the gay guys I live with had :eek: I refused to believe they were not ornaments… decorative table-legs for example…
Well, you can’t see it when you’re using it, so what difference does it make what it looks like?
I’ve seen ones shaped like dolphins before. There’s a wide variety of shapes and sizes- I’ve noticed that most of the ones made by “lesbian” companies tend to stay away from realism in favor of semi or not at all realistic.
I don’t really know how much the cosmetics of a dildo come into play for the average customer, whoever that may be. It doesn’t matter to me personally.
is posting of links allowed? i gotta show this link…
god, i cant believe I am posting in this topic boggle
this is so fun http://www.divine-interventions.com/
Um, sorry to overstate the perhaps obvious, but the above link is NSFW and should probably be not clicked if you are sensitive to blasphemy…
The female anatomy was designed to accomodate the male penis. Therefore, lesbians who love women and want to please themselves and each other have to use objects that act in the same way - not necessarily exact replicas of male genitalia [because if you ask me, that alone is enough to put me off sex for a while], but objects that please women in the same way.
<------------ Runs for cover as others respond to the last post 
…why? Did I say something that might offend someone?
I don’t really think so… I’d guess the worry was the statement “Therefore, lesbians who love women and want to please themselves and each other have to use objects that act in the same way.” Which is a highly inaccurate statement.
Penetration is one ONE of the many possible ways women can enjoy sex. Penetration is not necessary for women to enjoy sex (in fact some don’t get off on penetration at all, and some simply don’t like penetration).
Many lesbians do not use toys at all (we don’t). To think that all lesbians must use dildos is off base. (And I know someone who would argue that such an assumption shows a lack of imagination).
(weighing in as someone who’s not a lesbian but who’s also “not so not a lesbian.”)
eh, yeah…i’m not too bouncy with the idea that “The female anatomy was designed to accomodate the male penis.” this posits:
a) male primacy
b) evidence of “design” (i.e.–creator-driven versus evolution-driven)
c) limits “female anatomy” to the vagina (and not even to just the vulva)
d) limits female sexuality to receptivity
e) and doesn’t consider other roles of the vagina-proper (i.e.–childbirth, menses conduit, et cetera).
but that’s okay, i think i understood the underlying point and that my objections are irrelevant to it, so i’ll address that.
yes, penetration feels good to some (but not necessarily all) women. there are evolutionary reasons behind this and i’d be here until next week if i tried to discuss all of them, so i’ll just leave that as a given (assuming that’s okay).
there’s not really a difference, however, between the physical stimulation given through the vaginal walls by a penis-like dildo and a non-penis-like dildo. the molding of glans and veins is a purely aesthetic design feature (with some political implications).
there are mountains of different types of sex toys. most people are more familiar with traditional dildos and basic-stick vibrators than with some other forms, but there are a number of jiggly-joys that aim directly at clitoral stimulation (in place of or in addition to vaginal stimulation). but rather than hop into a discussion of bullets and dual-actions and the like, i’ll return to the stereotypical penislike toys.
my personality is such that i like for my sextoys to mesh with my cartoonish personality. they tend to be brightly coloured and to have smooth/bubbly/curvy lines. none of them resemble a penis (they’re phallic in shape only, not style). my primary darling is an inchworm…nothing penis-like about it.
but other women like penis-like sextoys and i don’t fault them for it (hey, it leaves more of the cartoonish selection open for me). part of the preference may be political in nature…using a toy that resembles a human penis on another girl could be a fun & kinky way of reapropriating sexuality and power. there’s definitely a subversive element at work there. teetering into explorations of gender, a noticeable minority of lesbian relationships have somewhat of a butch/femme dynamic within them. softee dildos can also used for drag king performance…or as an extra accessory while trying to pass (either for fun or as a lifestyle).
(please note that i didn’t insinuate that the butch/femme dichotomy is appropriate in general for classifying all or most lesbians–it really annoys me, actually. also, please note that i’m not claiming that lesbians are transgendered or that transmen should really even be considered lesbians…it’s a separate but not-unrelated issue).
so, in short…
a) women like a variety of sextoys.
b) there’s something subversive and potentially-empowering in silicone phalluses that resemble human penises.
c) i’ll agree that the veins and ridging of the glans on a penislike dildo could possibly contribute to stimulation (but so could any number of other design features that don’t make the toy look like a penis).
d) all that really matters is whatever-gets-ya-off. shrug differs from person-to-person (and from lesbian-to-lesbian)
Riiiight, since lesbians aren’t really people… :rolleyes:
Sorry, sorry I was only kidding, but I really couldn’t resist!
runs off to buy some willpower
Seeing as I AM a lesbian myself, I know that penetration isn’t necessary for women to enjoy sex. But the OP asked why women use phallic and penis-like dildos. And that was MY opinion, based on MY OPINION. [can I stress this enough?].
I don’t get off on penetration alone, it just helps.