I was reading some rom reviews on Somethingawful.com, and came upon a review of the NES port of Narc…Ah the good old days of Narc.
Narc was a game where you took the war on drugs quite literally. You were this guy in a sleeveless outfit with a motorcycle helmet, and fought drug dealers with machine guns and rocket launchers. Oh and a really nice porsche. See, when you fight crime, you gotta drive in style :rolleyes:
The game was an absolute riot. Drug dealers would attack you by throwing heroin needles at you (hey, they’re throwing away their fix!) and creepily enough- clowns that try to shank you. Yeah thats right, apparently clowns are really evil, and they’re so riddled with PCP they’ll stab anything in sight and can withstand machine gun fire.
You know, I would love to see a version of Cops based on the game Narc- youd be watching shootouts all the time, but the cops would have rocket launchers which they would use to take down Large Fat Men who Punch a lot. They’d have to wait for a very specific perp to drop a key so they could get in the dealer’s hideout. They’d cruise around in porches and would be dodging ten foot high cement walls and land mines which are just arbitrarily scattered all over the freeway
The bizarrest game I ever played was a stand-up arcade game known as Boxing Bugs. It used vector graphics a la Tempest, but the point of the game was… was…well it was stupid, that’s what it was.
Boonga Boonga is really terrible, if you ask me. Now, throw some leather chaps on that ass…Then you’ve got a game!!!
Personally, I liked Battle Toads. I mean, you’re anthropomorphic toads walking around space beating up mice and rats, finishing them off by turning your appendages into giant saw blades, drill bits, wieghts, stone axes, battle axes, and the like. My favorite bit…when faced with the ten foot rat warrior, the basis of attack…grab them in the nuts, punch them repeatedly, then hit them with a brick (aka you’re hand). Really fun game, and really off the wall.
Paperboy – You’re given bicycle handle bars as your joystick and you’re now in the fast-paced exciting world of newspaper delivery. You get points for breaking glass on the houses and your chief nemesis is a bicycle-chasing dog. This is a game for all the children who dreamed of one day becoming a paperboy, but their ideals were crushed by a college education.
The Michael Jackson video games, which would have been perfectly acceptable beat 'em ups, but were made creepy by the main characters (MJ and his monkey) and the plot (saving little children).
Anyone remember “Burgertime”? It was a video game about being a burger cook, except if your condiments were vicious and deadly and chased you around, and you had to cleverly trick them into getting trapped in your hamburgers.
Nobody’s mentioned one of my most memorable ones, though it wasn’t really wacky. You played a time traveling cowboy. This game used nifty hologram graphics, by the way. Anyway, you’re this time traveling cowboy and you, well, go through time and get killed. A lot. They spent so much on the graphics that there wasn’t any game. It was more like “Jump or Duck” where choosing wrong got you killed and you had to put money in to continue.
I remember playing Narc a lot when I was a kid. I loved that game. And it never occured to me that there was something weird about the concept of a cop in a Porsche gunning down hordes of psychotic drug addicts. I thought it was a more-or-less accurate portrait of our national drug policy. Ah, the '80s. Such a magical decade…
I remember that game – I played it a lot in the student union when I was a freshman in college. Then they took it out and replaced it with Mortal Kombat.
As for Narc, I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the best part – when you blew up a bunch of thugs and junkies with your rocket launcher, their body parts would rain down on you.
And no one’s mentioned Crystal Castles yet? I know y’all know this but i’ll summarize the weirdness: You’re a bear, picking up gemstones in a series of castles without doors, just a lot of elevators. Witches and gem-eating monsters and bees chase you around.
Of course, for me, noon means I’ve already finished an 8 hour work day.
Anyway, it was just a suggestion. It does leave a good, what? 6/7 hours till the bats come out, but it gives us plenty of time to enjoy our meal But if it’s a problem for anybody, then we shouldn’t worry about it. We’ve had a few people speak up about it, is there anyone who would have a real problem with meeting earlier?
I never played Holoseum, but from what you say, it reminds me of that old Dragonslayer video game. I loved the cartoons, and the video game was nothing but a choose your own adventure type cartoon for the most part…it just seemed to me you could never do anything but die! “Hit the button when you see the flash? Okay…wait, why’d I just get crushed in a wall?” Still, it was nice to look at.
Another great thing about NARC…the final boss. Starts off as a guy in a wheelchair that shoots missles, who then turns into a GIANT METAL SKULL!!!
Whackey is defined by Zombies Ate My Neighbors.With such descriptive chapter titles as “Dirty Dances with Werewolves”.
This thing had one running around a residential neighborhood, and in a few schools to rescue the neighbors from the likes of Frankenstein, Zombies, Werewolves, etc… Using such extravagant weapons as squirt guns, plates, popcicles, and fire extinguishers.
If you still have your Genesis about I highly recomend this one if you see it somewhere at a garage sale.
But if it’s a problem for anybody, then we shouldn’t worry about it. We’ve had a few people speak up about it, is there anyone who would have a real problem with meeting earlier?