That sounds weird. The only places where I’ve noticed the owner/manager/chef come out to talk to people have been in rather fancy places, and they’ve always introduced themselves, by name and position.
I have never heard of employees sitting down with customers. Very weird. I’m not even sure what I’d say if that happened.
I’ll bet you really clean up in tips. There is a difference between treating the waitstaff shabbily, which is inexcusable, and telling a corny joke, which is inoffensive at worst and charming at best.
Sauce for the goose, to use a culinary metaphor, is sauce for the gander by the way: Just as patrons are not licensed to abuse the staff, neither are the staff, however busy or frazzled or sick-of-the-job they may be, entitled to scorn the customers. Particularly those who are only trying to be gracious, however hammy they are going about it.
There’s always the idea of big black numbers printed on their uniforms, like they have on the roofs of police squad cars. And a megaphone supplied at each table.
#1176! More chips, please!!"
I’ve noticed it in chains (i.e. the Longhorn) and the presumed manager doesn’t always introduce himself.
Actually it would be fun to walk up to random tables at a restaurant and ask how everything is. Maybe on your way out. If there are complaints you could promise complementary desserts for the whole table, then subtly depart and enjoy thinking about the aftermath.
Oh, aren’t you clever with your patronizing little quips. Equating Olive Garden to Chef Boyardee – twice even! You must be very sophisticated, mm-hmm.
A local place was taken over by new owners who were doing poorly at customer flow. They were having some trounle at different things that we noticed. A few weeks into ownership they started calling out ready orders and people to be seated over the intercom. That was the last time our family was there. Who wants to have a nice meal with the intercom announcing stuff every minute. It’s not a drive through.
I was a waitress in college and made excellent tips - I still felt exactly as Bouv described when customers did that cutesy stuff - HATED IT (especially loved the “I thought you were getting it” when I presented the check - LOL FUNNY). All you can do is smile politely - part of that is wanting a tip, part of that is being polite, I get that some people are trying to be charming and funny.
I never found my customer’s cutesy jokes remotely charming (they were repetitive and unoriginal) didn’t stop me from being a great waitress and making enough money to pay for 3 years of college. You don’t have to like everything 100% to be good at something, being tired of lousy jokes doesn’t mean you need a different line of work.
I’m in a different line of work now and still scorn some of my customers 
They used to do it at Outback around here, but gave it up. It’s a bit much.
This is the best idea ever.
This. This times a million. And it applies to any kind of service job, not just restaurant waitstaff. Attention world: You are not as clever or original as you think you are.
Do not *ever *assume that someone whose income depends on keeping you happy is actually amused by anything you do or say. They don’t have any other option (at least, not if they’re good at what they do). “But the waiter/cashier/tech smiled/laughed/etc. when I did it!” is never going to be a legitimate response to, “Don’t do that again.”
There’s a difference between “being privately disdainful of someone” and “being rude to their face.” If you can’t understand why a waiter would be frustrated hearing the same three jokes over, and over, and over, from people who all think they’re being terribly witty, you’ve clearly never worked any kind of service job.
I’m another of those types who likes to have minimal polite/cheerful involvement with waitstaff, store checkers, etc. I don’t want to tell you my life story, nor do I want to hear yours. I don’t want to hear your corp-speak spiel, and I would like to have an opportunity to turn down hearing your long recital of the daily specials, what’s good, who’s winning the baseball game, and so forth. I certainly don’t want you to sit down next to me or hover over my table waiting for me to need something. Just go away, do your job, and be polite, and I’ll do the same. I’ll leave you a great tip if you do (I probably will anyway, because I know all the forced cheer isn’t your fault).
But I know you have no way to know that, without me being impolite enough to tell you (which I won’t do except by subtle hints, because as I said, I know it’s not your fault and management forces you to do it). So…
I’ve often wondered if, in this day of having little ribbon pins for everything, we couldn’t have a little ribbon pin or other signifier for “Back off, please, I’m not into the chitchat and forced corporate social stuff.” Don’t know what color it could be, since I know a lot of them are already taken for other things. But it could be a symbol to servers and other service personnel that not only won’t I be offended if they let up on the fake corporate whee-ha, I’ll actually prefer it. It will probably make them as happy as it makes me.
Anybody with me on this? Maybe we could start a movement.
At a McDonalds in Ireland, the week that it opened they made their cashiers say “ba-ba-ba-ba-buh” when they handed over the food.
Seriously, get with it, Gibbler. Everybody hates customers, and everybody has to pretend they don’t if they want to keep their jobs. Stupid jokes and stupid questions are annoying as fuck, but everyone has had to learn this little thing called “customer service” which roughly translates to “masking one’s contempt for assholes.”
*No one *who says these things to you thinks they’re the first person to do it. They’re trying to bring a smile to your face. You know…friendly stuff? Are you all so jaded that you actually think someone’s going to bother to entertain you with original wit? It’s called making small talk. And by the way, YOU started it when you laid the canned small talk rap on your customer. Or do you think your customer is supposed to sit there silently??? You’re CHATTING with them, fercrissakes. If you don’t like it, don’t initiate it. Your boss won’t know…trust me.
Scene: large conference room with oak table in center. 10 people seated
Steve: Sally, we need to call this meeting to order, would you be so kind?
Sally: Yes Sir. [louder] Who’s on the conference bridge? and Where are you from, and your position?
[disembodied voice #1] This is Prakesh, in Cincinnati, VP of foodstuff product presentation.
[disembodied voice #2] Stan Hersh-
Sally interupts: Just first names, Stan
[disembodied voice #2, stammering] Ah, Stan. I’m in LA. I’m with legal.
Steve: Right. We have a quorum, and based on the Strategic Importance of this topic to our Asset, we should avoid past meeting deliverables and dive right in.
[pause]
Any thought for the Birthday song? It need to be LOUD, Upbeat, Reminiscent of other songs, but not enough to get ASCAP or other rights holders attention. It needs to be delivered by 4 to 9 employees of mixed Gender and Musical talents and have a staccato Beat that can be clapped to by people with limited rhythm. Keep in mind that on off hours, we may need to pull staff from the kitchen with certain ahhhh, ethnic, vocal flavors.
[
Oh, gimme a break. Just because people are sick of hearing the same dumb joke over and over doesn’t mean that they “scorn” their customers. We know that they’re just trying to be nice. But it is genuinely annoying to have to fake a “ha ha” with every damn customer.
How about something other than a ribbon? I propose that the symbol be a little pin shaped like a hand, palm out, like the “back off” gesture. You could put it on a regular button or a little enameled pin or whatever.
Do you know how relieved a lot of customer service people would be if they saw one of those things? “Cool. I don’t have to read this person’s name off their credit card, try to pronounce it, and hope I guess right with regard to their gender.”
The specials and the “been here before” stuff never really bothers me; sometimes it’s actually interesting if the restaurant does have some different way to go about things or the chef has whipped up something cool.
There is, however, one hoop some restaurants make their servers jump through that completely baffles me: the No Notepad, By Memory Order Taking. Why? Why in the name of fuck would any restaurant force its servers to memorize the orders of every table they work? It doesn’t heighten the experience for me, as a customer, because I just wind up being nervous on behalf of my server, in case their memories aren’t so good. It can’t make things easier for the server, can it?
So why is this thought to be a good idea? All it does is heighten the risk of wrong orders (or of having to come back to the table and double-check mixed up orders), and makes the customers less sure that the food they order is going to be what they get. If it’s the managers requiring it, they should be shot. If it’s corporate offices requiring it, their buildings should be burned to the ground. And if it’s the waiters/waitresses doing it, of their own volition, they should be taken gently by the hand and explained that, no, I’m not impressed with your inability to remember that I wanted mayo instead of mustard on my sandwich. Even if you have a fucking photographic memory, I want you to hold a little pad and scrawl something while I order, just so I can rest easy.
OK, let’s hear some of those lame ass corny jokes. I want to use them the next time we go out for dinner.
Yeah, I’d like to know the answer to this as well… it just creates anxiety for everyone involved.
Okay, and we’re letting you know that the smile you brought to our face is entirely fake.
Who asked you to entertain us? We don’t expect our customers to entertain us. That’s just silly.
The waiters and waitresses have no choice. They have to do do the spiel or lose their jobs. And why should we trust you that the boss won’t know. You don’t know how closely these things are monitored.
And yes, you can sit there silently if you want. If you have something to say, say it, but otherwise, a simple “thanks” will suffice.
ETA for DG–this is a retail one, not a restaurant one, but since you asked: If the cashier is ringing up your merchandise and an item doesn’t have a price tag on it, say “I guess it must be free! Haw haw haw!”
And what would they be taking a “photo” of? It’s not like a word bubble appears over my head as I order. Now that would be cool. (I agree with you–it makes me nervous too.)
I also figure many times the screw ups could have been avoided if they didn’t have to run back and place the order before they forgot what it was.
With the electronics we have available, why don’t they have a small wireless device they can enter your order on instead of requiring every person use an electronic screen by the kitchen?