To be clear, my husband is not “making jokes or quips”. He’s introducing himself to the waiter because the waiter introduced himself to us. Why would you have a problem with that? We introduce ourselves to people every day. It’s the correct response to a person introducing themself to us.
You gonna pass out scripts for your customers? They can only respond with your pre-approved, non-“annoying” sound byte? What if they ad lib and say, “Hello! How are you today, MIKE???” How about, “I don’t care what your name is…bring me a burger.” You’re actually annoyed by someone telling you their name when you’ve already told them yours?
Jesus, I know exactly how you feel. Every time I go to buy skin care I feel like I’m on a mission to get in and to the cashier before anyone notices I’m there. The places are usually pretty small so it’s never easy. No, I don’t want to buy your super moisturizing strawberry banana milkshake hand cream that would help save orphaned kittens in Africa. Go away.
There’s a difference between politeness (please and thank you) and making tired jokes (I guess it’s free!). Continuing a behavior that you have been told is annoying isn’t polite, and it doesn’t constitute a pleasant exchange. It’s rude. Ignorance can be excused, but I can’t see why you’d defend someone acting in this way while knowing that the server isn’t going to enjoy it, but fake a smile because they’ll get in trouble if they don’t.
To reference a bit of a quote from Miss Manners herself that was brought up by someone in another thread:
Now, clearly people can’t judge by the smiles on the faces of the waitstaff (or the cashiers, or the bartenders, or the etc. etc.). What they can judge by is what those people say in private–which is that they want people to cut it the fuck out.
This is very well-worded. Bravo!
:rolleyes:
Because they’ve heard it a million times before, it wasn’t funny the first time, it’s an attempt at a joke, not an actual response, and they have to pretend it’s funny anyway.
Because people expect actual answers to their questions instead of lame jokes that they have to laugh at because they have no other choice.
It’s not a pleasant social exchange. It’s an employee being forced to laugh for the customer. Once the customer knows that it’s not actually funny, it’s only polite to stop doing it.
Unfortunately, both the blue and the mohawk have gone the way of the dodo since college graduation. I still weep about it at times. 
1.) The people bitching about it aren’t just waiters, but people who’ve held service jobs that require them to smile while eating shit from customers.
2.) It’s predominantly waiters because this thread was started about… wait for it… WAITERS. It’s right there in the thread title. Having problems reading?
3.) Other job irritants aren’t being mentioned because… guess what… they’re not as relevant to the topic.
:rolleyes: indeed. It’s better than trying to guess what particular phrase or response labels me an annoying asshole.
But, hey, if we have to pretend to be interested in the waitstaff’s “friendliness” so we get good service, why should we care if you have to pretend to be interested in ours so that you get a great tip?
Really, I used to work in food service and I don’t remember finding normal customer interactions all that annoying. I much preferred people who laughed and chatted over breathing totem poles who apparently had no sense of humor at all. The jokes might’ve been repetitive, but so what? Better that than the customer who responded to friendly chatter with a blank look, as if they didn’t quite “get it.” The only truly annoying customers were those types, and the genuine assholes, like the male chauvinist who told me that “women were put on this earth to serve men,” or the hag who screeched in my face about her drink.
I do consider it to be rude to interrupt people when they’re speaking. I was raised that way. You are certainly free to treat people however you choose, but for my part, as a general rule, I don’t treat people rudely.
I see your confusion; you’re incapable of understanding that other people don’t want to be just like you. Just because you can’t go to a restaurant without some need to hear the specials doesn’t mean that others cannot. While my evidence is limited, I conducted a poll of myself and 100% of respondents agreed with the statement, “When I go to a restaurant, I am not there for the specials.”
Who said I’m pissed off? I go out to eat to enjoy myself; having to listen a three minute speech about what some low level functionary thinks I should know diminishes that. If my evening is going to reduced in its joy, then I see no reason to not return the favor to the person whose rules make it thus.
Again, you’re free to be as rude to your server as you’d like, but I decline to follow your example: be rude the underlings and let pass the people whose rules make it necessary in the first place.
You may call it pathetic, and that’s fine. But it has worked effectively to such an extent that there are some restaurants which I now frequent explicitly because they have done away with their long, long spiels. Eat out in better places? If you only knew where I normally eat when I do eat out. I love your pretentiousness though.
Or like you were hyperbolically suggesting you would do? The “rolling eyes” was my way of saying “stop responding like a five-year-old.” You sounded like some kid who responded to being told to stop saying something rude by holding her breath until she passed out.
Nice try. Every time I have seen this, the waiter has either asked “Do you want to hear the specials” or has said, “Let me tell you about the specials.” And then paused. That’s when someone who isn’t looking to be miserable about the whole experience would say “Actually, that’s fine. I don’t need to hear the specials, I’m ready to order.”
No rudeness there.
As I said, I have no idea why someone would not want to hear the specials. Kind of like going to a football game and closing your eyes every time one player touches the ball. But hey, if it what floats your boat, then fine. Just tell the waiter. I’d argue that the majority of people who go out want to hear what the specials are, so it probably makes sense for it to be policy to tell people that.
You certainly seem pissed off. You avoid the sensible, quick, polite option (telling the waiter you don’t want to hear the specials) to go on some silly little rant to the manager, with the intention, as you yourself stated, to waste his time as you wait for your food. That sounds pretty pissed off to me. Again, I would rather spend the time waiting for my food joking with my friends, or gazing into the eyes of my date. But each to their own. Indulging in petty tirades to restaurant management is what floats your boat, clearly.
Hey wait. I thought as a general rule you didn’t treat people rudely. We were certainly brought up differently if you think that deliberately wasting someone’s time, especially while they are busy at work, is not treating them rudely.
Ask wait staff what they think is ruder.
My suggestion…
Waiter: “For Specials tonight we have the following:”
Diner: Holds up his hand “Actually, I’ll stop you right there. I came here specifically to try the braised short rib that my friend said was fantastic. I’m good with that, thanks.”
Or your way:
Waiter: “For Specials tonight we have the following: mahi mahi with peach salsa, served on a bed of sauteed spinach with pine nuts. We also have a bison steak, cut New York Strip style, blackened, and served with wild rice and a field greens salad. And as an appetizer special we have bay scallops wrapped in applewood smoked bacon.”
Diner: Fumes as 2 minutes of his life is inextricably taken away. “I’ll take the short ribs please. And can you send the manager over once you put the order in?”
OK. It’s pathetic.
Read what I said. I said this seems to be a problem in chain places more than others, if indeed people think it is a problem. Therefore it makes sense that a person is more likely to avoid it by going to a place that is not a chain restaurant. There is nothing pretentious about that. There is, however, something ridiculous to me about crying into your soup because a waiter tells you what the restaurant has on offer.
I’m sorry, was the title of this thread, “If asked to hear the specials, how do you respond?” We’re talking about the force variety. Do better.
Clearly, you aren’t capable of understanding that not everyone is like you. Incidentally, I don’t like football. Thus, I don’t go to games. I don’t like aggressive sales attempts in restaurants; thus I don’t go where they’re the norm.
It would seem that the majority of respondents here don’t agree with your assertion we want to hear the specials. Why not let the customer just ask if there are any? Oh yeah, let’s just make that decision for them.
It’s entirely possible to be motivated to take action without being pissed off. But since I presume people speak from their own frame of reference unless otherwise stated, I suppose this counsels much about your approach to life. Thus I suppose that you’re writing here because you’re pissed off.
I think you might have a point here. It is completely rude to address complaints as to how the service could be improved to the person who makes the decisions about it.
I’m not a waiter, but I’ve either overheard or had someone at my table use the “Hi, I’ll be your customer” bit a few times. It never makes me angry, it just astounds me that there are still people on this planet under the age of 85 who think it’s even the least bit funny. When it has happened in my party, I’ve had to resist the overwhelming urge to slink under the table in embarrassment. It’s probably the most tired joke on the planet, maybe second to “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
What the fuck? Are you seriously saying it disturbs you to hear the specials? I swear, I have never encountered this attitude when out to eat. I’ve never even heard anyone bitch about the practice of, you know, actually telling you what the restaurant has to eat. Many of the restaurants I go to have a couple of staples on the permanent menu, and many more specials that change every night.
There may be a couple of people here like you, but this is the straight dope. You can find numerous people here who think any range of mundane, normal activities are totally evil. I need to make a list of everyday shit that makes people here pissed off. Leafblowers? Check. Pleated pants? check. Shorts? Check. Now I have Daily Specials to add to the list.
Yes, it was hyperbole. But it seems that any attempt at chitchat is annoying and stupid, so what am I supposed to do? Maybe you SHOULD have a preprinted card that lays out the appropriate response. “When I smile and introduce myself, please don’t introduce yourself. Only smile and nod. When the scanner refuses to scan, don’t make a joke. Of course, don’t act irritated. Just stand there and wait (and wait). Please do not sigh impatiently. Don’t comment on the weather while I ring up twenty bags of groceries, I know it’s really hot. In fact, chitchat is discouraged. Any attempt to engage in such will be met with the requisite forced chuckle and will result in your later denigration in the employee break room.” Are compliments allowed, or does telling you I love the color of your blouse make you uncomfortable (even though it really is my favorite color and I truly like the shirt)?
See, it makes me feel suddenly uneasy. I’ve always tried to be friendly to people who are providing a service and now I can’t help wondering. Am I truly coming across as an idiot–are they just forcing their own affable response and making fun of me later? You think I’m just responding in a temper fit, but I’ve had self-confidence issues my whole life and believe you me, this doesn’t help at all. Now I really do NOT KNOW how to act toward cashiers, waitstaff, etc without seeming foolish. Warm or cool? Chatty or tacit? Too friendly, you’re a fool. Too cool, you’re an ass. Crap, it makes you despair.
Someone isn’t following the thread: the issue isn’t just hearing specials; it’s the aggressive, compulsory delivery of them which is at issue.
Does the aggressive, compulsory way they hand you the menu also piss you off?
The restaurants whereat I eat have them placed along with the linens, silverware, and glassware. And they’re usually printed up each night along with the specials, for me to read at my leisure while I’m enjoying dinner with my friends.
Even if they handed it to me, no, it wouldn’t piss me off. Nor does being forced to listen to some spiel about the specials piss me off. You posit too many entities. I suppose your particular brand of assumption might fly with some people; I’m not among them.
Do avoid the logical fallacies in the future; they can only frustrate your point.
If you don’t know which fallacy it is you’ve committed, then I suggest you look up:
Have you stopped beating your wife?
Now you’re just being deliberately obtuse.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure you need to look it up first. You have already complained that it isn’t the customer’s choice to hear the specials first, thus implying that any server telling you specials without your expressed permission is something you dislike. Would you prefer it if I changed the words “pissed off” to “dislike”? I’m perfectly willing to do so
Well, I could equally change “have you stopped beating your wife” to “have you beaten your wife?”. That doesn’t change what you did actually ask; it merely means that you’re capable of understanding that there’s a difference. Why you chose to the logically fallacious tact is beyond me; that you did choose it, however, is at issue.
It’s perfectly clear you don’t have the first idea what that particular logical fallacy addresses. Your analogy is quite terrible.
Well, that’s basically what you’ve said. You want people who are trying to be friendly BACK to you to quit making the friendly comments that they’ve chosen to make. No counter introductions, no quips, no jokes, no smiles, no laughs. Even though your managment purposely MAKES you do these things to bolster a carnival-like atmosphere in every party-down-have-a-blast chain restaurant on Planet Fucking Earth, NOFUCKINWAY do you cheerful, hip, too-cool-for-school waiters and waitresses want anything to do with it. I guess it makes it easier to look down on others if you automatically assume they’re idiots even when they’re being nice.