Walking Through a Hailstorm with a Record and a Coconut...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Three quick scenes from my day…

I like college. In fact, I like college so much that I want to go there next year. I especially like Northwestern, to the point where I really really really want to go there. Unfortunately, Northwestern does not seem to like me very much. Or do they? I can’t tell, because I haven’t gotten the letter yet. Everyone else who goes to my high school and applied there got their letters. That was four days ago. But still no mail for me.
In the vain hope of receiving notification of my status from Northwestern, I hitched a ride home from a friend of mine today during my lunch period. I got in the door of my house to find that, once again, there was no college letter.
But there was a coconut.
One of my friends, who went to Hawaii over Spring Break, decided it would be cool to send me a coconut. So she did. It has a painted beach scene and says “Aloha from Hawaii” on it, as well as a quick message from her. The fact that I randomly received a coconut in the mail almost made up for the fact that Northwestern continues to ignore me.

I like college, but I like my school’s literary magazine, too. I like it so much that I’m on the literary board there, which reviews the submissions. This is a good thing, considering that in a meeting last week, I was the only person in the group to catch the fact that one of the submissions was a word-for-word transcription of Bill Cosby’s “Chicken Heart” stand-up routine. Being the rabid Cosby fan that I have, I happen to possess a copy of this stand-up routine on record. So, I offered to bring it in for our faculty advisor to listen to, so he would realize that I’m right and we almost put a completely plagarised piece into our magazine. I brought the record in last week, and he gave it back to me today, having been thoroughly convinced.

And while I like college and literary magazines, I still have enough room in my busy schedule to like other things. One of these other things is warm weather. Ahhh, warmth. Unfortunately, like Northwestern, warm weather does not like me. Because it was supposed to be warm today. So I wore a short-sleeved shirt and thin pants, and no coat.
The weather in Pittsburgh, though, does not like to be told what to do. So today it rebelled, by not only being cold and miserable but also by having a hailstorm.

This hailstorm, of course, started just as I was on my way down to track practice. So there I was, walking across the quad shivering madly, with a painted coconut under one arm and an old, beat-up record under the other.

It’s been a weird day. I don’t know if I like that or not.
-Walt

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Don’t worry Jester, we like you. Although this Walt guy got ahold of your account. I think I like him better. But not much. He doesn’t seem like such a baby. But he might be. It’s hard to tell sometimes.

The secret to dressing is layers. Like an onion. You never see a sweaty onion now do you? Or an onion that’s shivvering with blue lips. If you do see an onion with blue lips, maybe you need to cut back on your “medication”. Although since you’re going to college soon, possibly even Northwestern, mayb upping your “medication” would be a good idea. That way it’s not such a shock to your little system that first weekend.

And that coconut will be a good thing next year. You meet this fab babe at the bookstore, or the place where you sell blood for beer money, and you can say “Hey baby, wanna see my coconut?” And then you can actually deliver. It’ll be novel. Girls like novel. But not really long pointless ones like Finnegan’s Wake or Battlefield Earth. Some girls do like Battlefield Earth, but those aren’t the kind of girls you want to be associated with.
-Rue.