For those of you who haven’t noticed, (and you are legion), I’ve been away for a few days. It was a long weekend here in Canada, so we went to the cottage.
The cottage next to us is a few hundred feet away and it was rented to a family I had not seen before.
As I walking along the path past their cottage, I walked straight into a spider web. It was all over my face and I was waving my hands frantically and rubbing the stuff off. I glanced over and saw the whole family looking at me so I waved. A couple of them waved back, rather timidly I thought, and I kept walking.
Then it dawned on me. I didn’t see the spider web. They were at least a hundred feet away, so it’s for sure that they didn’t see it either.
All they saw was a stranger waving his arms around and muttering to himself for no apparent reason.
They avoided us their entire stay.
My wife and kids laughed their heads off and said this could only happen to me.
I have had the one where you shout at a friend’s back at the beach and it turns out to be the person in the next beach house.
Same deal, They cross to the far side of the street before waving hello.
Actually, that DID happen to me once. I was walking between 2 poles and walked right into a spider web! I screamed and waved my arms, too. This was at a playground, so I had manny peoples staring at me. 25 years later, I am finally getting over the embarrassment.
You walked in to a…aaaaaaaagh! I can’t even say it.
So the neighbors think you’re weird. So does everyone else. No biggie. I’d still be totally freaked out by the…aaaaaaaaaagh!
I have the same reaction to “aaaaaaaaghs!” as you have to some of the smaller members of the rodent family, Wally. Not the spiders. I can deal with the spiders. Unless they suddenly drop half an inch from my face. Then I faint. It’s those damn things they live in, invisible tickly things that are just all of a sudden THERE, in your face, in your hair, and you can’t get them off of you. Bleagh! Bleagh bleagh!
I hope you’re alright, and if the neighbors ever let you get close enough, tell them I said hello!
So you walked into a spider’s web. Do you realize that the spider was on the part of the web you walked into. He is on you now, and has probably found a wonderful home…on your head. It’s like he’s found an ancient friend up there.
How vastly clever. Only you could get rave from milking such an event. Bravo, Putz! (To onlookers: I’m only saying this because he follows me around saying putz. To practice his vacabulary lessons, I presume.)
It was so funny what happened to ME the other day: I was walking through the meadow, and a hamster was hanging out of a spider web, so I threw the spider up to the ceiling and down came Wally, with no socks on!@HAHAHAHAHAH
You’re not a real person at all, are you Wally? You’re really a zany sitcom Dad, complete with Very Special Episode (the heart surgery), and cute teenage daughter, who no doubt wisecracks at you.
You have a laugh-track and background music, too, now admit it!
Location: a remote campgrounds in southern Vermont. The victim: SisterRiddles. The occurance: while the rest of the family went to the beach, SisterRiddles instead opted to sit just below the overhang of our leantoo and read. While reading peacefully, an unidentified animal dropped onto SisterRiddles’ head. SisterRiddles assumed it was a chipmunk, as there were a ton of them around, no doubt due to daily feedings from campers. As a city child, SisterRiddles had been informed that chipmunks can “rip your face off” in order to deter her from feeding/chasing them. A fear of chipmunks had arisen. And now one sits quite happily upon SisterRiddle’s head.
It remained there for, according to SisterRiddles, a good 5 minutes. It seemed happy with the view, and she was too scared to move. Eventually, it ran away.
Imagine, if you will, peaking over from the neighboring camp site and seeing a young woman seemingly reading, with a chipmunk on her head. MommaRiddles wanted to try putting peanuts on SisterRiddles head to try and entice the 'munk back, but SisterRiddles refused. And thus ends our tale.
Eerily, this is very similar to what happened to us this weekend, only sort of reversed.
To get some much needed rest we went to a cottage up in Canada. While we were just getting settled in, this strange man came walking along the path, waving his arms crazily and muttering to himself. He noticed us staring at him and waved to us (maybe gestured is a better word). We were so scared we didn’t know what to do. We waved back, hoping he would just go away. Fortunately he did, but he only went as far as the next cottage – he was our neighbor for the weekend! And after he left we heard maniacal laughter from their cottage.
We avoided the weirdo all weekend. Instead we met a nice girl with a chipmunk on her head.
