A really nice thing just happened. A customer wanted to thank me for my help, (I’m a nice salesman) so they bought me a box of Quality Street. Link for those that don’t know these sweets.
It was a lovely gesture and one of the things about this job that really puts a smile on my face.
Now these sweets have been a staple of confectionery through out my life. And to my knowledge they’ve never changed. But as it’s the 21st century they decided to modernize things a little.
And their idea? Two NEW Sweets! is proudly written in a bright white starburst on the front of the packet. Now I’m a progressive individual and not opposed to change so I turn the packet around to see what new eclectic options have been added to the dazzling array of confection.
Milk choc block.
Toffee deluxe.
Well whoopy fucking do. That’s the best you could come up with? A block of chocolate and a block of toffee covered in chocolate? I bet the Imagineers worked overtime for those! Someone earned a big fat bonus! Wherever did you get such astounding ideas ?
The packet says you’ve been making these things since 1936 and you decide after 70 years that a block of solid chocolate is they way to bring your product upto date.
Also Nestle, I don’t like your symbol of a bird in a nest feeding baby birds. You do know that birds basically vomit on their children to feed them right ?
Well, chocolate’s been around for the last 500 years in Western culture, give or take. There’s only so many permutations of things you can do with it. Be thankful, lest the next box of chocolates contain dark chocolate-covered hippopotamus corneas, or white chocolate hazelnut rabbit turds.
(And the first person who makes a Monty Python reference in this thread is a drooling idiot.)
It’s pretty much a given that any time a box says “New! and Improved!”, the consumer should investigate the contents to find in just what way the company has decided to royally roger them. It’s usually cheaper ingredients or less product for the same amount of money.
Yeah, that sort of thing drives me bonkers… recently Pantene debuted New! Improved! Formulas! in shiny new bottles. Of course, they also cut down the product by about half an ounce and jacked up the price by $.50 to $1, but at least the new bottles are real shiny…
You are now officially The King. Your crown is a bicycle crash-helmet in aircraft-identification orange, complete with chin strap, with lettering in duct tape on the side proclaiming “I’m Special.” There’s a Hello Kitty sticker tastefully placed front and center.
I’m not familiar with this brand. In terms of reputation, what American-sold chocolates would Quality Street be about on par with? Russell Stover? See’s? Godiva? Whitman’s? Ethel M? Fannie Farmer/May? Lindt? Hershey’s? Ghirardelli? Dove? I get the impression from this thread Quality Street was a mid-level brand that went down in quality once the company was bought by a huge international corporation (i.e., Nestle`).
I bought a huge box of Cadbury’s Milk Tray for my friends during the summer and the fucking things were mouldy. I was verily embarrassed after that debacle. Quality Street at the best of times tastes like Lack-Of-Quality Street to these tastebuds.
