Was this a weird thing to do?

Suddenly I’m reminded of a story I heard a while back. A family had recently returned from a two-week vacation. The paper boy showed up at the door looking for a payment, and the mom didn’t have any money handy for him. But the teenage son said, “Oh, I’ve got it, Mom,” and paid the carrier. Mom wondered how the kid had gotten the money. “Oh, well see, Dad was awfully careless with money on our trip – he kept leaving it on the table whenever we ate out. So I picked it up.” :smiley:

How awful – stiffing every waitress from here to Wally World and back!

as a former waitress Malandry, I think that is one of the nicest things someone could do for their waitress ( short of giving them a kidney) On your second day its not very encouraging to think you got stiffed.

Just another person chiming in, Melandry, and agreeing that you did the right thing. Interesting, ain’t it – no one has said otherwise yet? Looks like your bf doesn’t fit in with this crowd.

And, Scarlett67, that story sure sounds like either an urban legend or part of a sitcom. :wink:

Last year for my birthday I got an abysmal book called The trick to money is having some In it the author brags about how he stiffed the tax man and (this is the one that made me stop reading) suggests that you go to a restaurant, order an expensive meal, and in the end refuse to pay because the food was cold and didn’t taste good. I was so offended that I wrote to the publisher. I plan on being rich, but not by stiffing the wait-staff.

A little further off track: I was at Burger King tonight and the woman behind me paid for her meal with a new 100 dollar bill. However, it was so new that another had stuck to it. The man behind the counter pointed it out to her and made a joke about it being a great tip. She took it back and thanked him. I dunno about you, but I would have given him at 10% finders fee.

OK, sorry, I’m off track. Back to you OP

Melandry, I do not think this was a weird thing to do at all. In fact, I applaud your consideration and thoughtfulness. A lot of people would have been thrilled that the full amount had not been taken out and just gone on happily from there.

My sister was a waitress in a fairly up-scale restaurant in Oregon for quite some time. She told me time and time again that she would have friends do what Khadaji had read about… Order an expensive meal (say steak and lobster with the works) then half way through the meal complain loudly about it (restaurant policy was to replace the entire meal). This way they would get 2-3 ‘free’ meals out of the deal and have left overs. She even had the gall to do it when we were having a meal there for my birthday once. As she knew the waitstaff, obviously, they were all well aware of what she was doing. She ended up taking her second meal home - too full from eating most of the first. I was so embarassed I tipped the waiter grandly when she wasn’t looking and apologised. But on the otherhand, my sister is a tad on the wappy/mental side…

To show not all customers are horrible nasty vermin: In a busy Californian diner (Sheri’s IIRC) there was a new lass who was struggling to keep all her tables satisfied. A few tables from me was a small family who were doing nowt but whinging and whining… more whine between them than all of Napa Valley I’m tellin’ ya… anyhoodle… Complaining about not having enough water, coffee, etc. I ended up serving them myself. Just upped, grabbed the coffee and water pitchers and served everyone in the gal’s section. It amazed everyone, but it shut them up. I admonished rather loudly about how impatient and rude customers could be… The waitress was extremely grateful and apologised for everything. Told her to stick with it and she’d get the hang of things eventually. Left her a nice tip and toodled my way back down the highway…

FTR I am not, nor ever have been, a waitress… but feel everyone should be treated with respect, and to lend a helping hand where needed.

We went to Outback one night and we were a dollar short of the correct tip. The next time we went there, we found our waitress and gave her the buck. She was thrilled! I say, tip well when it is deserved.

I don’t think it was weird at all. Your BF may be thinking of it similarly to the following scenario:

A friend of mine bought a bunch of stuff at Home Depot, and the cashier (and my friend) was inattentive at the register. A fair amount of the stuff ($30 or so) my friend bought did not appear on the receipt, she only noticed when she got home. She did not go back and pay the $30, and neither would I, I would consider myself “lucky”.

The difference is that the recipient of the bad luck is Home Depot, a corporation that will not even notice the shortfall, in fact, probably accounts for it. The waitress will feel the pain much more than Home Depot, and I intended my tip to go to her personally, for the good work she did. I WANT the waitress to get the tip, so I would go the extra mile to make sure she gets it.

Weird? No.
Unusual? Yes.
The right thing? No question!

A couple of similar occurances are why I try to tip in cash even when I pay by plastic.

Yeah, you did the right thing. Your boyfriend is just cheap.

When I was undercharged recently at a restuarant (I got a soup & salad and was only charged for the soup) I made sure to tell the waiter. It was a large party and he said not to worry about it, so I didn’t. But it would’ve felt wrong not to point it out.

Likewise, I went to a free lunch at Logan’s on Friday (new Logan’s opening today - they had a shakedown lunch) and not only tipped the waitress (from what she said, not many people felt obliged to tip on a free meal) but also made positive comments about her service to the manager and on the evaluation sheet. Good service should be rewarded.

In your instance, I probably wouldn’t’ve caught the error, so the poor waitress would’ve been stiffed. If I had caught it, I’d probably drop cash off for her.

StG

I’ve driven back to resturants the next day to correct tips, I don’t think it’s odd in the least. To paraphrase Christopher Reeve: “When I do good things, it makes me feel good, when I do bad things, it makes me feel bad”. IMHO, people who don’t see making up for someone’s honest mistake are the unusual ones.

[hijack] I was in New York a couple weeks back and had a waitress that got a little snippy when she brought me the wrong meal. No biggie I thought, just having a bad day. I still tipped her 9 bucks on a $45 dollar tab. When I was comparing my bank statements against my receipts for my expense report, I saw that the tip was increased by TWENTY! I called the resturant and talked to the manager, before I could even tell him the whole story he became extremely apologetic. The waitress had been fired for padding charges for extra tips. He had not realized to what extent until a few days after she was fired, and calls started pouring in. This poor manager was actually trying to track down the names and numbers of all she screwed over, and he even knew my last name when I told him my first, so I don’t doubt he was doing this. I’ve heard from others that they hear about this alot, and it’s easy for them to do. It’s sad that I’m now going to be jaded, and hanging on to tabs until I can compare them against my bank. [/hijack]

I went out to dinner with my grandparents and stepfather maybe a year ago. The total came to $89 and change, with no gratuity included on the bill. My grandfather pulled a hundred out of his wallet and told him to “keep the change.” In other words, a 10% tip, for some damn good service.

I was so embarrassed by his stinginess that I pretended I had to go to the bathroom, went back and found the waiter, and gave him another ten bucks.

Don’t walk – run.

I think the boyfriend’s logic may be that it was probably the waitress’s mistake, so you don’t have any obligation.

You certainly did the right thing. The disciples didn’t say ‘But, Jesus, everyone else is a sinner; stop embarrassing us.’

I just think it is odd that you noticed the mistake. I guess I don’t balance my checkbook like that, I just check the statement, but if say a dinner was charged as $40 instead of $46, I doubt I would have noticed. But since you did notice, I think it was the right thing to do. Incidently, I hate this attitdue…

They account for it by raising prices for everyone else.

Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever read a thread where the opinion of the Dopers is unanimous. (other than “get well” or “sympathy” threads of course).

I’m going to jump on the bandwagon here and say that you absolutely did the right thing Melandry. It wasn’t weird at all.

I’m with Rhum Runner though… myself? I’d have never noticed.

Like Bindlestiff, I make a point of tipping in cash whenever possible, even if I pay with plastic. That way I can be sure the tip goes where it belongs. An honest effort on the part of the staff is met by courtesy, patience, and a healthy tip on my part. I find this makes dining a more pleasant experience for everyone involved. Don’t believe that the staff will forget you in the crowd–even in the bustling restaurants here in DFW, people remember a good customer.

Melandry, you did the right thing. How much weight can the axles take on this bandwagon, anyway? :slight_smile:

I think it is great that you made a point to tip your waitress ** Melandry**. As a server I know how it feels to be stiffed, and in your first few nights, its even worse. I’m sure that the waitress was thrilled to find out that someone was kind enough to realize that she was nervous and still appreciated her work. That’s not a normal thing for a server to find, especially when first starting out.