Was this a weird thing to do?

In My Humble Opinion
1

When I told my boyfriend this story, he said that out of 100 people, only one (me) would do this. So I thought I would tell the story on the SDMB, to reassure myself that kindness and courtesy, contrary to his opinion, are still out there.

In early September, he and I went out for dinner at TGIFriday’s and ended up with a waitress working only her second day. It showed a lot: She was constantly apologizing, saying she was such a bad waitress, bringing up that it was her second day. But she was very friendly, she got our orders right, and although there was an initial delay, was very prompt about checking on us from then on. So we didn’t really enjoy her as a waitress, because we both prefer minimal, efficient service without so much chatting from the server, but when I payed, I left a big tip to encourage her, as many of the things we didn’t appreciate about her were just trainee nervousness and she basically did a good job.

I paid for the meal with my debit card. In the course of balancing my checking account yesterday, I discovered that it had been debited for only the cost of the food, no tip. So I called up the restaurant, and talked to the manager, to see if they could “fix” the transaction to be debited the proper amount, so that the nice novice waitress, who probably made a simple mistake with the credit card system, could get the tip I originally intended to give her, which she deserved. The manager confirmed that this was the source of the error and took some information from me, so hopefully the server will eventually get her tip.

My boyfriend says that any normal person would just be glad they had saved themselves some money and moved on. Since tipping is theoretically voluntary, I suppose it isn’t stealing to not rectify the situation, but I felt bad for the girl who was our server- it can’t have been a highlight of her second day on the job, to lose a tip due to a mistake.

My boyfriend doesn’t think I shouldn’t’ve done what I did, just that it was unusual. So, would you have called the restaurant?

2

I don’t know what I would have done, but it’s nice that you did it. I don’t think it’s weird at all. I think it’s really sweet and touching that you actually gave it that much thought. :slight_smile: It probably really made that waitress’s day.

3

"My boyfriend says that any normal person would just be glad they had saved themselves some money and moved on. "
Well, maybe, if they’re content with not going to that restaurant ever again!

4

I wouldn’t have gone throught the trouble. However, I would have made it a point to go back to the restaurant and seek out the waitress and give her and REALLY good tip the next time.

5

I would have done the same thing as you, Melandry.

6

I don’t think it was too odd. I probably would have done the same thing.

7

I hope your boyfriend never finds it convenient to “move on” in a situation with you. Be at least a bit wary.

8

And by the way, it wasn’t weird at all. It was a wonderful thing to do.

9

I also find the comment about “saving money” by accidentally stiffing a waitperson on their tip more than a bit skeevy. Another vote for “you did the right thing.” I would have done it too.

10

This put me in mind of a comment from another thread:

If what you did is “weird” or unusual, it shouldn’t be. Decent behavior ought to be considered normal, not an exception to the rule. As for myself, I probably wouldn’t have noticed the error (I’m bad with keeping track of money things), but if I did I think I would do something to fix it, either the way you did or the way Omnipresent suggested.

11

My dad has had to do that once or twice on a business trip–he would pay the bill with a company card, then realize the next morning he had left inadequate tip. He just called the manager, explained the situation, and ensured that the waitperson got his/her tip (and a sincere apology).

So, yes, you did the right thing.

12

Again, what everyone else said.

Especially if you plan on going back there in the future.

13

I almost had the exact same situation happen to me. In checking my bank account, I noticed that the exact cost of the meal was debited and not the tip. I considered what I’d do, and probably would have called the restaraunt and done what you did.

There was no error though, the tip made it through a while later.

So I don’t think its weird at all. Of course, I generally tip above 20 percent on every meal.

14

I think I would have done what you did. I hope I would have. A few years ago when I was younger and more stupid, I went to a bar and opened a tab on my credit card. I ran up quite a bill and left without signing for my tab. I called the next day to make sure that the bill was paid and to add a tip. The older I get, the less proactive I am about doing the right thing (if it requires work.) But I like to believe that I still do it more often than not. Kudos to you for your kindness and generosity

15

I have a question. If it was only her second day, why was she by herself? When I worked as a waitress I had at least a week’s worth of training, so when I was on my own, I knew all the procedures for ringing up the orders and checking someone out.

It seemed like she made a mistake, and it was nice of you to make sure she got her tip.

16

I had the opposite happen. I called to order takeout, picked it up, and paid with my check card. When I was checking my account on line, I saw that $3 had been added to the tab! I called and complained - the manager said it must have been a mistake. I still wonder if it was a deliberate mistake, but I’m glad I’d kept the receipt - I usually pitch them right away. Anyway, I got my account credited.

They never did that to me again, so maybe it was a one-time goof.

17

I was assuming it was her second day on her own after a period of training, which, judging by her jitters, may not have been long enough.

I’m glad to hear others would do the same and that my boyfriend’s cynical worldview has not yet triumphed.

18

So the boyfriend advocates stiffing waitresses as a way of saving money? What’s next? Stealing newspapers out of your neighbor’s driveway to save money on a subscription?

I’d have done the same thing–or more likely stopped by and given her some cash. I remember being a nervous new waitress, and getting a few extra-large tips as encouragement. I appreciated it so much. You totally did the right thing.

19

I think what you did is the act of a totally normal, decent, and nice person. The fact that your boyfriend thinks it’s strange- well, I’m not advocating breaking up with him over it, necessarily, but I’d file it away under ‘serious character flaws.’

20

Trust me, I already know he has character flaws. We’re talking about someone who agrees with every word Ann Coulter has ever written.

Although, in his defense, he wouldn’t deliberately stiff the waitress at the meal, as some people seem to be inferring- in fact, he’s a good tipper- he just wouldn’t go out of his way to fix a mistake in his favor. I agree that this, too, is not nice, but on a different level.