OK. I usually don’t get a good rant going here in the pit, but the one I do recall was me kvetching about people here at work not flushing the damn urinals. I’m too lazy to search it out right now, so I will spare the hamsters.
Anywho, as per the thread title, water-free urinals have been installed here at work. I’m in a tizzy. Completely boggled. I really still haven’t decided if I like them or not. Though I don’t have to piss into someone else’s nasty yellow…ness anymore, I still feel oogy about going in the damn things. This here website insists that it’s all very sanitary, efficient, etc., etc.
Me? I’m not convinced yet. It’s my God-given right as a 'Merican to flush after I pee. This right has been taken from me. I feel violated in some way.
My co-workers and I are seriously considering investing in a squirt bottle to hose the thing down before and after doing our business. Well OK, maybe separate water bottles. Because, you see, they don’t flush! GYYYAAAAAHH!! Ugh, I can hardly type! I am so bothered!!! I’m half icked out, half fascinated by the technological achievement that is the waterless urinal. It’s all slick and new and completely disconnected from the flushing pipe. No need to dropkick the plunger anymore. No looking at the nasty yellow…ness that someone has left for me to take care of because deep down they know, KNOW I say!! that this bothers me deeply, and are secretly plotting to drive me crazy with their nasty yellow…ness. But now I CAN’T FLUSH IT EITHER!!! But d_redguy, I tell myself, it doesn’t smell bad. I know, I say, but I CAN’T FLUSH MY OWN YELLOW…NESS DOWN!!! But d_redguy, I sez, there is no need to flush it down. See, it’s gone. There is no yellow…ness. I know, I sez, but JUST BECAUSE I CAN’T SEE IT DOESN’T MEAN IT ISN’T THERE!!! IT’S THERE, DON’T YOU KNOW!!! JUST BECAUSE THEY SAY IT ISN’T POROUS, AND THAT THE YELLOW…NESS GOES INTO THIS LITTLE “CARTRIDGE” DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT DOES!!! I MEAN, THERE STILL HAS TO BE PISS SLOWLY ALLOWING GRAVITY TO TAKE ITS EFFECT ON IT, SLOWLY SEEPING DOWN THE BACK OF THIS EVIL THING, DRAGGING IT EVER DOWN INTO THE “CARTRIDGE”, RIGHT?!?! MEAN, THERE’S PROBABLY PISS ON IT RIGHT NOW, ISN’T THERE!!! GYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Then I realize that I drink way too much coffee at night, and I should lay off a bit. This would have the added benefit of not having to use the urinal as frequently.
But here’s the kicker. According to my co-worker, these things weren’t here Monday morning. So they have been here less than 68 hours. There are already THREE NASTY BLACK PUBIC HAIRS IN THE DAMN THING!!! FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK!!! bleh meh geh feh ugh :Pukey: etc. etc. etc. :shiver: :faint: