We are just CO-WORKERS here, not family or friends

The BBQ Pit
61

[QUOTE=trublmakr]
Not only that, but there’s a special hell regarding potlucks in my office. We have to have one every single month, and the food you bring has to be a certain color or colors, ie July is red, white, and blue food, January is pink and red food, December green and red, etc.

[/QUOTE]

Would I go to hell for bringing yellow and red food in July? July 25th is our national holiday and I believe strongly in sharing cultural values. Plus, I have no idea how to cook anything blue :smiley:

Those things are OK - in moderation. One of the cultural values I’ve shared when working abroad is the way we celebrate B-days in Spain, because it’s both “friendly” and “moderate”: the birthday boy brings something to share. In my current job and in the summer, when most people have a mid-morning snack, it’s mid-morning snacks; at other times it may be a large tray of candy. Most people buy it from the restaurant that’s in the same building as the office, but the mom of one of the guys is a Compulsive Cook (you know those women who insist in feeding everybody? We should send a few to Africa!) so he brought homemade. It’s not expensive, not intrusive, and definitely: not outside work hours!

62

I worked in an office of 50 people. HR decreed a cake and a song for every birthday, with the entire company gathered round the poor unfortunate person, unenthusiastically droning out Happy Birthday To Yoooooo.

Which of course is approximately one a week, though clustering sometimes made it MUCH more than one a week. Fuck’s sake. After three birthdays on consecutive days, the HR department finally realised their folly and reversed their decision.

(Mind you the forced socialising worked out quite well for me, as I managed to use it to shag two of my more attractive colleagues, and got a massive vertical smile from two others that I foolishly didn’t pursue.)

63

[QUOTE=Jodi]
it’s like being nibbled to death by ducks. “But it’s only two dollars!” Yeah, every other day. And if it bugged me as “professional” staff, I could only imagine it didn’t sit well with everyone in the ranks of support staff, who work just as hard, if not harder, for about half the pay.
[/QUOTE]

No shit.

I worked in an office of 40 people and it was the same damn thing - money, money, money. And they wanted $10 or $20 each time! Really, that brazen in asking for an amount!

I finally said enough, I can’t afford it anymore - I was support staff and these folks were making 2-3 times what I was.

Chief Social Asshole came back with “Well, when it’s YOUR turn you’ll get a party/donations too!”

Oh, yeah? Let’s see… I was already married, I am NOT going to have kids, I already have a degree… looks like it’s been “my turn” already and it’s never coming round again, doesn’t it?

After I put my foot down other people started doing the same. I was willing to sign cards, but not fork over money any more to people who made twice what I did. What complete and utter bullshit.

64

In my office, my unit is part of a larger group that is honestly about a quarter mile away and on another floor. (It’s a really big building.) All birthday celebrations are held in their section not ours.

  1. I’m handicapped and damn that’s a long way to walk with a cane. And not have a place to rest when I get there.
  2. I don’t celebrate with food. Especially food that other people make (I just used a few shellfish, you really can’t tell.)
  3. They don’t like me. OK that’s my fault. I made the mistake to telling the birthday queen that organizing “mandatory merriment” was a sign that she obviously didn’t have enough work to do.

So now I’m anti-social and too lazy to participate. Whatever. I keep my $5 a month and get to choose who I spend time with. Works for me.

65

[QUOTE=kiz]
a weekend relaxation of the dress code, .
[/QUOTE]

What kind of a company is this? I never heard of a place where, if you had to go in on the weekend, you had to follow the dress code. Unless it’s like a store or something of that nature.

66

[QUOTE=Broomstick]

After I put my foot down other people started doing the same. I was willing to sign cards, but not fork over money any more to people who made twice what I did. What complete and utter bullshit.
[/QUOTE]

You know, it seems like that’s all it takes. One person saying No and then the whole thing falls apart.

We used to have birthday lunches in our department, organized under our old (see above post) boss. Finally, one brave soul, when asked where she wanted to go for lunch, said she’d prefer to work through lunch and leave work early so she could celebrate with her family.

That put the end to that. (That plus it was the last birthday that fell while the old boss was still here.)

67

[QUOTE=Spectre of Pithecanthropus]
What kind of a company is this? I never heard of a place where, if you had to go in on the weekend, you had to follow the dress code. Unless it’s like a store or something of that nature.
[/QUOTE]

Bingo :slight_smile: I’m a bakery supervisor/Jill-of-all-trades for a regional supermarket chain.

68

[QUOTE=fishbicycle]
There is one of those at our workplace, too. I wrote a pit thread on her the day she put up signs asking everyone to buy her stuff for her impending baby. Since then, she’s done it for every other woman in the place who’s had a baby, nuptials, operation, left the company, you name it. I mean, it’d be fine if I knew who any of these people were, or their names, or some other thing about them beyond their names. But I don’t! The people who work on the other side of the building (and many who work on ours) are complete and total strangers to me. I don’t ask anybody for anything at work, and have never been offered anything. I’m not giving up any time or money to anybody I don’t know or count as a personal friend. Stacy’s having a baby? So are millions of other women I don’t know, and I’m not subsidizing them, either.

The one bright spot in all this is that I just heard today that Mrs. Social Agenda is thinking of quitting.
[/QUOTE]
Prolly moving to more fertile territory.

69

This is exactly the shit that gets me. They spent your money without asking you first? So, essentially they stole $10 from you and then asked your permission?

Next time tell the bitch that she should have lined up the money first, before buying the stroller. Seniority is no excuse to throw her weight around.

70

[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless]
There’s no I in team, but there’s two yous in “Stupid Cunt”.
[/QUOTE]

Oh man, that’s beautiful.

71

[QUOTE=E-Sabbath]
There is no I in Team.
[/QUOTE]

For some reason I’m seeing a cartoon here, with Genghis Khan addressing his Mongol army: “Just remember, there’s no “I” in horde”. Or a bunch of Klansmen with hoods and burning crosses: “There’s no “I” in angry mob.”

72

[QUOTE=Eve]
Thank goodness at my office we don’t pretend to do more than barely tolerate one another!
[/QUOTE]

Thanks for rubbing our noses in it! Hold it… this is just a joke…right??? No, wait, of course, it MUST be a joke…nobody is that fortunate…yeah, right, a job where everybody minds their own sullen business…Eve is just saying that to make us feel bad, and then she’ll have had her fun and yell “Joking!” and then we’ll all laugh together, and say we knew it couldn’t be true… Hoo-ha, Eve, you got me! I admit it!! Teehee, that was rich! <sob…sob…there…must…be…such…a…place…far away, over the…>

73

[QUOTE=ivylass]
The thing my old boss (emphasis on old, as in, not here anymore) used to do that bugged the ever-living tar out of me was decorate cubes for birthdays.

I’m not talking a streamer and balloons. I’m talking streamers, balloons, confetti, and any other birthday-themed crap she could find. I hated coming in and having to vacuum my keyboard and clear off my desk just so I could work.

Look, I can drink liquor and vote. After that, it’s just getting older. A cake is nice, but really, I’d rather have dinner with my family. It’s not that big a deal that I want to make a big TO DO at work.
[/QUOTE]

Our HR rep sends out a list that shows everyones birthday. (years left off thank goodness) I asked them to remove me from the list, I asked our supervisor to please not bring a cake, sing to me or anything. In short I wanted my DAY THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED to be ignored.

I came in that morning to my desk looking like a party supply store had blown up on it. And then singing, picture taking and a fucking cake. I appreciate the effort but when someone asks you for something so simple, like just ignore my birthday, it would be common decency to oblige them.

74

[QUOTE=Antinor01]
Our HR rep sends out a list that shows everyones birthday. (years left off thank goodness) I asked them to remove me from the list, I asked our supervisor to please not bring a cake, sing to me or anything. In short I wanted my DAY THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED to be ignored.

I came in that morning to my desk looking like a party supply store had blown up on it. And then singing, picture taking and a fucking cake. I appreciate the effort but when someone asks you for something so simple, like just ignore my birthday, it would be common decency to oblige them.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, but you were protesting too much, “It was a cry for help, we can help **Antinor01 ** with an even bigger party, yep that’s the ticket”.
Jim

75

My office does not have many events that are “organized”, mainly because most of my co-workers, while multiple-degreed smart, are so brain-dead that the only thing they can talk about outside of work is:

a) sports
b) their kids
c) Labrador retrievers
d) God, so long as by “God” you mean the homophobic presbolutherbaptistarian God
e) Cabo! And Cozumel! And Cruises! To Cabo! And Cozumel! With drinking! And all you can eat steak buffets! With sat TV! In bars! On the ship! So it’s basically just like being at home!

HOWEVER…that means that we have…official office-organized SPORTS EVENTS! Yes, the e-mail goes out, in violation of all corporate policy for mass-internal-spamming, typically in ALL CAPS:

YES OH YES, REMEMBER TO WEAR RED ON FRIDAY TO SUPPORT THE WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT MILLIONAIRE SCREW-UPS THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS! WHO ARE TAKING SCADS OF TAX MONEY FROM US EACH YEAR, THREATENING THE CITY WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS, MASS ANAL RAPE, AND SARS IF WE DON’T AGREE TO UNDERWRITE THEIR FUCKING NEW STADIUM!!! REMEMBER, WEAR RED ON FRIDAY OR YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE TWINKLETOED COMMUNIST COCKSUCKING HOMOS, OR WORSE, A HAIRY LEGGED SATAN-WORSHIPPING BULLDYKE LESBO-TERRORIST!

So every time the dreaded “Red Friday” rolls around, I get the same shit.

“Oh Una, you must not have heard…it’s Red Friday! You’re supposed to support the CHIEFS, verily Gods among men, by wearing torn blue jeans, sneakers, and some sort of red sweatshirt that says “Chiefs” on it that cost $50 for a $2 slave-labour created iron-on - not that stupid $500 black suit-jacket thing you’re wearing because you’re trying to look professional for our clients…don’t you support the CHIEFS??? What do you hate most about America, is it freedom? Is it pickup trucks? Jesus? It’s Jesus, isn’t it? Why is your heart filled with hate for Jesus? Come on, let’s go to the “Goalpost Room” and witness!”

Thankfully, I’m going to be taking most every Friday off for the rest of the year…

76

That’s great!

Jeez, UNA, why they hell don’t you post more anymore???

I miss you. :sniff:

77

[QUOTE=Una Persson]
My office does not have many events that are “organized”, mainly because most of my co-workers, while multiple-degreed smart, are so brain-dead that the only thing they can talk about outside of work is:

a) sports
b) their kids
c) Labrador retrievers
d) God, so long as by “God” you mean the homophobic presbolutherbaptistarian God
e) Cabo! And Cozumel! And Cruises! To Cabo! And Cozumel! With drinking! And all you can eat steak buffets! With sat TV! In bars! On the ship! So it’s basically just like being at home!

HOWEVER…that means that we have…official office-organized SPORTS EVENTS! Yes, the e-mail goes out, in violation of all corporate policy for mass-internal-spamming, typically in ALL CAPS:

YES OH YES, REMEMBER TO WEAR RED ON FRIDAY TO SUPPORT THE WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT MILLIONAIRE SCREW-UPS THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS! WHO ARE TAKING SCADS OF TAX MONEY FROM US EACH YEAR, THREATENING THE CITY WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS, MASS ANAL RAPE, AND SARS IF WE DON’T AGREE TO UNDERWRITE THEIR FUCKING NEW STADIUM!!! REMEMBER, WEAR RED ON FRIDAY OR YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE TWINKLETOED COMMUNIST COCKSUCKING HOMOS, OR WORSE, A HAIRY LEGGED SATAN-WORSHIPPING BULLDYKE LESBO-TERRORIST!

So every time the dreaded “Red Friday” rolls around, I get the same shit.

“Oh Una, you must not have heard…it’s Red Friday! You’re supposed to support the CHIEFS, verily Gods among men, by wearing torn blue jeans, sneakers, and some sort of red sweatshirt that says “Chiefs” on it that cost $50 for a $2 slave-labour created iron-on - not that stupid $500 black suit-jacket thing you’re wearing because you’re trying to look professional for our clients…don’t you support the CHIEFS??? What do you hate most about America, is it freedom? Is it pickup trucks? Jesus? It’s Jesus, isn’t it? Why is your heart filled with hate for Jesus? Come on, let’s go to the “Goalpost Room” and witness!”

Thankfully, I’m going to be taking most every Friday off for the rest of the year…
[/QUOTE]

You know, you could wear a totally red t-shirt…with a white disk and a black swastika in the middle of it. It may be a bit much, but cutting edge fashion always is!

hh

78

[QUOTE=handsomeharry]
You know, you could wear a totally red t-shirt…with a white disk and a black swastika in the middle of it. It may be a bit much, but cutting edge fashion always is!

hh
[/QUOTE]

Nah, too offensive, go for Geek Sheik instead and wear a Classic Star Trek Uniform Red Shirt.

79

It sounds as if your SASOA (hope I got that right) needs to work at a different sort of workplace. At my company, the “family-oriented” atmosphere is one of the main draws for people. Our unofficial motto is “work hard, play hard and play hard = BEEEEEER!” (yes they say beer that way).

We do celebrate people’s in-house victories as well as their personal ones. And it’s not just an Anchorage dept only thing either, our company is nation-wide and in several other countries, and this idea comes down from the top.

The idea being that a happy fulfilled employee is a productive one.

I can understand why it would not be everyone’s cup of tea though, I sometimes opt out of parties and get togethers myself. I know you came to rant, and not for answers, but is there anyway you can steer her toward a company, or maybe a department in your own company) more in keeping with her “work personality” so to speak?

80

[QUOTE=black rabbit]
Boy howdy, am I a lucky sumbitch.

We do the birthday thing, but the company pays for the cake. And it ain’t sheet cake, either - I’m talking German chocolate, amaretto-whatever, etc from a premium bakery.

The company also pays for the blow-off-work-a-couple-of-hours-early-&-hoist-a-few at the local watering hole when we push out our major semi-annual release.

And the “holiday” dinner with free booze for employees and spouses at a relatively upscale family Italian place.

And lunch from Panera or whatever when we need to have a meeting about insurance or our 401k’s or some shit.

When someone’s loved one dies, they get an extra few days to a couple of weeks of paid leave, depending on the closeness of the relationship.

There are downsides to working here - relatively low pay for the industry, a killer commute (at the moment), and the shitty insurance deal that comes with working for a small company - but I’ve worked at places that required the employees to pony up for the Mandatory Office Fun Time, and I never want to go back. Ugh.
[/QUOTE]

Me too. I apologize to the OP, I somehow missed her whole paragraph on cards, donations and cakes. We rarely have to donate anything, it’s not common at all. But the parties and other “Employee Morale” stuff is fairly frequent and is usually done off the clock, though at least once a quarter it’s on the company’s dime.

(and there’s BEEEEEEEEEEEEER :D, which for me is actually magaritas, since I can’t stand beer).