I love your English muffins. Really, I do. They make my morning special with their cute little round perfect-size-for-a-poached-egg toasty goodness.
But will you PLEASE stop with the psychological warfare?
It’s morning, I’m not fully operational, and all I want is to split the damn muffin and throw it in the toaster. Is it too much to ask that you actually split the thing straight through the middle instead of stopping halfway and giving me 1x fat piece that burns because it’s too close to the toaster element, and 1x skinny piece with a bloody great hole in the centre because your ‘pre-split’ muffins are nothing of the sort?
It’s enough to make a person go back to toast. There, I said it! You’re driving me away with your callous disregard for my feelings.
:smack: Okay, you’ve got me. You know I love you and I’ll always come back. But does this have to be such a dysfunctional relationship?
I think I read here about making your own home made sausage McMuffins. It’s my new favourite breakfast! M & M Meats has frozen turkey sausage rounds (2 min 30 sec in my microwave) and I learned how to cook an egg in the microwave, too, and keep it in a roughly round shape. Slap on a piece of processed cheese (for that fast food feeling) and a dab of mayonnaise on a toasted English muffin. Delicious!
Thank you, Bites, for having the courage to speak out about this travesty that I, and countless others, have been tortured by for so long.
It’s like trying to defuse a bomb, getting that thing to split correctly.
And it’s a conspiracy, because Thomas’ english muffins are like this too.
No, because there is that section of unsplit muffin even on the evenly split muffins.
Unless you cut them through with a proper bread knife (thus negating the whole ‘presplit’ experience), even a toaster oven will create a dark burnt ridge on one side and an undercooked valley on the other.
Exactly. And besides, I have the world’s smallest kitchen and I have neither sufficient space in which to place a toaster oven, nor the financial wherewithal to purchase a specialised muffin-toasting apparatus.
I could just give up on the silly things, but poached egg and baby spinach on a muffin looks delicious and slightly decadent; same thing mushed to fit across a piece of toast just looks kind of “pre-digested for your convenience”.
PS: Thank you, jellyblue, for helping unearth the Global Muffin Conspiracy. I hadn’t realised that the pain of unsplit muffins was felt all over the world … I wonder who Tip Top are taking their orders from? **Very **mysterious! :dubious: