He doesn’t scream like a normal human being, he scream-sneezes… and he’s weirdly proud of this. He’s made babies cry when he’s sneezed too close to them. (Seriously, I had my 9mo old godchild on my lap, hub sneezed in the same room, the poor baby startled, looked up at me in terror and began to wail.) He has made all the cats run out of the room. We all make loud aaaachooo noises every now and then, but he literally rattles windows. We actually had a serious discussion where we talked about how he vocalizes instead of just inhaling when he’s sneezing, and that led to a passive-aggressive week or so of his pathetically holding his breath and near-seizuring “because I told him not to make noise when he sneezes.” So I’m a horrible wife who doesn’t answer her husband’s sneezes with “God bless you,” but rather, “Will you for Christ’s sake take a Claritin?!”
He wears all of his clothes until he literally has one pair of undies and a pair of torn up shorts to put on his butt, then approaches me very seriously and says, “Do you need to do laundry? Because I am out of pants!” Then he’ll wash like one or two loads of laundry and repeat the entire process again in a week. To his credit, he’s never expected me to do his laundry for him, mostly because his last girlfriend repeatedly shrunk his stuff and made all his shirts and undies pink. Lately, I’ve just been saying the hell with it and doing all his wash anyway. Less frustrating for me.
My father does this. He practically yells at the top of his lungs the word “AACHHOOOOO” when he sneezes. I literally jumped out of bed one morning thinking he hurt himself and was calling for help. Actually, he just got dust in his nose. :rolleyes:
He’s a horrible back-seat driver. (Why do they call them that? That should be passenger-seat driver.)
He hates to drive because he drives so much on his commute to work. I’m happy to oblige by driving, but he tries to control the action from where he sits.
“Can’t you pass this guy? What’s holding you up?”
“There’s a car in our blind spot to the left.”
“No there isn’t.”
“There isn’t now. There was five seconds ago.”
“So why don’t you pass now?”
“I WAS GOING TO PASS. I WAS WAITING FOR TRAFFIC TO CLEAR!!!”
It’s send my blood pressure up just to type about it.
Then there are the other Monk-like behaviors. Coming into a room, he will instantly notice if a piece of furniture has been moved 1/4 of an inch and question it. If I wear a new outfit, what he will comment on is the microscopic bit of lint on my sleeve. The funny thing is, when we watch Monk, he thinks that he’s brilliantly observant like Monk, while I secretly note to myself that he’s only annoying as fuck like Monk.
Piling on with something similar. I’ll ask a question, and the first response is “huh?” I used to respond by repeating the question, but if I don’t, and just wait a second, I get the answer.
I can raise you both one on that - my husband is a back seat driver who doesn’t know HOW to drive, but can tell me what I should be doing. Oh holy og that burns me up. *
Other than terribly minor stuff, that’s about it. That drives me right out of my tree, though.
Cheers,
G
*Oh, ok, technically he can drive in the sense that he has before driven. He got his licence 20 years ago in another state and has never once driven a car since - quite literally drove for the driving test and never again. Prior to that, he drove a motorcycle until he wrecked it (not his fault, and it frightened him to the point he won’t ride a bike again.) This means that he knows everything about driving, and why it is that whatever I am doing is not correct, despite my having had a licence in two countries and driving since the age of 14! Grrr…
The way I figure it, any adult can at least grunt when another human being is talking to them. It really isn’t too much to ask for harmony in the household.
I’m a passenger-seat driver sometimes, but I’ll catch myself doing it and say to my husband, “Okay, why don’t I let you drive?” I think he appreciates that.
He is also the loudest nose blower in the world. He has allergies, so he blows his nose A LOT. It’s like a trumpet.
My husband too. It didn’t bother me until we had kids and it makes me unreasonably cranky when his behavior is like the children’s.
I have noticed that lately, my thoughts will escape from my mouth before I even know it. One day after he proudly told me all the mundane tasks he successfully completed (two) I said “Well, good for you” in a really snotty way." OOOPS
In my defense we had guests for a week and I hadn’t had a chance to even sit down all day and he was lounging in bed doing nothing.
For some reason, even when I’m listening, often times I’ll miss the question the first time around. Or I’ll hear it, but my brain can’t interpret it. So automatically I go “Huh?” or “What?”. But then I’ll realise what was said and start answering any way.
We had to put a moratorium on zit-popping. We both tend to do it to each other, but it had gotten to be an obsession with him to the point where every time he looked at me I could see his eyes scanning my face for stuff to pop. I felt like I was just a zit farm for him and my self esteem went through the basement floor.
He tends to talk very, very slowly. This is because he likes to carefully think about what he is going to say, but in that case, just wait until you know, then say it. Don’t start the sentence, then trail off for 30 or 45 seconds, leaving me wondering if you’re even going to continue. Which he sometimes doesn’t do. Or sometimes when he starts back up again it’s with the beginning of a new thought. He’ll have this stack of 3 or 4 open sentences without having actually said anything completely and I’ll be quietly going insane trying to figure out what the hell it is that he is trying to say.
Then when he is actually saying something, sometimes he won’t stop. He can beat a dead horse like nobody’s business.
He is getting better about acknowledging me, but he’s still not great about it. I’ll say something to him and get no response whatsoever. No grunt, no nod, no glance up from the computer screen, nothing. I have no idea if he heard me or not. I told him that it made me feel like he was ignoring me and he works on it, but he still does it often.
He constantly gets distracted by reading news stories on the internet or playing little Flash games. We’ll be trying to get out the door to go somewhere and he’ll stop to “check his email really quick” and I’ll come in 10 minutes later wondering what is taking so long and he’s reading some Yahoo News story about a two-headed Yak found in Antarctica or something.
He didn’t realize that it’s not subtle to lean over on one butt-cheek to let out a fart, and did so in public places, such as restaurants. He stopped doing that when I told him, though. “You realize that when you go like this,” [demonstrates, complete with the little strained facial expression that always accompanies it] “everyone knows you’re farting, right?”
He starts scratching at night in bed. It’s loud and it jiggles the bed. And it drives me nuts. He just gets itchy at bedtime. (And no, it’s not the sheets or something like that.)
Something he has gotten much much better about that used to drive me nuts was think that there was one correct way of doing something and all other ways were wrong. If that’s the way his parents did it, and I learned differently, then I was doing it wrong. I did win once, though, and got him to stop folding towels the retarded way that he used to, and fold them my way, which is the obviously superior way.
He mumbles while walking ahead of me, facing the other direction, and expects me to be able to hear what he is saying. He will also come in and start talking to me while I’m doing something (like in the middle of typing a sentence in an email) without giving me a chance to finish. Or even worse, call me into the other room and expect me to instantly stop whatever I’m doing and go.
Just like EmAnJ’s fiance, he thinks being intentionally irritating is cute, and sometimes it is–for about 3 seconds. After that it’s just actually irritating.
As for me I’m sure I annoy him a lot. I nag, I know. I say “you know” all the time in sentences, though in my defense it’s sometimes intentional as a prompt to get him to acknowledge that he is listening, rather than an unintentional filler (which it usually is.) I forget things a lot. I keep putting off calling the dentist, yet I’m always complaining that my teeth hurt (I don’t have insurance and haven’t found a new dentist since moving to Ohio, so it’s not just a simple matter of calling up the dentist–I have to find one, make sure I can afford them, hope they aren’t scary, and then decide to go plunk down a huge amount of money). I usually expect him to drive places when we go together, (and we end up using his car–and his gas–most of the time as a result) and then I complain about his aggressive driving. I lose track of leftovers in the fridge, which ends up wasting food. I tell the same stories over and over. In fact I talk a lot in general. Like that isn’t obvious from the length of this post. :smack:
Love the guy to death, though. This stuff is all just .00000001% of who he is, and the other 99.9999999% is just amazing and wonderful.
I do that too. I also reflexively say “ow” when I bump into things, even if it didn’t hurt. Even if it was my purse hitting a chair and not even ME bumping something at all.
I do this too but I think it is mostly because I have hearing loss. It takes a second to register what I really heard and then it clicks. Of course I also think I hear things that I did not and respond with an answer that had nothing to do with the question.
I thought of another thing. My SO is fairly new to the internets so every single time he finds something that is cool he has to drag me over to the computer screen to show me.
The last time he asked “You want to see something cool?” I responded with a “no”. I could see it sort of hurt his feelings so I got up and looked. It was pictures of sidewalk chalk art. :rolleyes:
I have tried to tell him to send me the link in email but even though I have showed him how several times he forgets which forces me to get up to show him again which sort of defeats the purpose as I see what he was going to send me anyway.
Can’t say these things drive me crazy as much as they’ve become a way for me to torment my SO because she is so obsessive about them:
In her car, the radio has full digital readout. The volume must be on an even number, or her flaps become unglued, even though the number disappears after a moment. Knowing it is on an odd setting is sufficient. Odd volume listening has never harmed me, to my knowledge.
When we play Trivial Pursuit, she wants the pie pieces in the markers arranged per the board, and I don’t give a shit. She likes the unused pieces properly arranged and gets nutsy if I roll the die into them (which I do on purpose). Oddly enough, she doesn’t care if Monopoly money is correctly sorted (all bills of one denomination facing the same way) which is important to me.
Ah, Chefguy, I feel your pain. The Sheckstress does this all the damn time. She also likes to drink warm apple cider in the morning, but seems incapable of pouring the correct amount. The excess stays in the mug to be placed in the fridge. Not in the area that has the shelves, mind you, but placed precariously on the door, on top of the jelly or mustard or whatever looks the most unstable. If I ask her to stop, she says it’s not a problem (of course not, YOU don’t get it splashing all over because it’s already done). I choose to retaliate by “forgetting” to close cabinets. Ah, wedded bliss.
My wonderful husband has no concept of time. If he’s working on a project, “it will take an hour” whether it’s placing a picture hook or rebuilding the staircase.
When he goes to “play race cars” (x-box) at his friend’s house, he’ll be an hour, but comes home in 4 or 6, depending who was winning.
He also makes noise. He doesn’t know it. He grunts and groans for no particular reason. The guys he works with tell him he makes love to his food. He’ll groan in bed, sounding like he in pain. When I ask what might be bothering him, he’s puzzled.
lisacurl, my ex-husband was a scream-sneezer, and I want you to know that if something bad ever …happened to your man, I would not be one to hold you accountable.
My husband:
Must have TV on during all waking hours and some of the sleeping ones. He’s not even paying attention to it half the time, but for fuck’s sake, let’s have some NOISE.
He is extremely impatient. He practically simmers with anger while driving, because of all those other cars presuming to get in his way, and Lord help us all if we should be grocery shopping and someone cluelessly blocks the aisle.
When he yawns, even if it should happen to be in the middle of the night and all else is quiet, he goes: HH-Eh-YYAAAAAaaa-WNN-HMMnnmmn.
Just the small stuff, huh? I guess I’m done. I really shouldn’t be reading this thread; it’s making me mad!
I know - the annoying stuff I do, there’s reasons for ALL of that! The annoying stuff he does, he’s just doing it to be annoying.
Actually, this thread has been eye-opening; thinking up annoying things I do has been a lot easier than I thought it would be; apparently I have an inaccurate idea of how annoying I really am ( :rolleyes: to me).
