We may have the dumbest criminal of 2010

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Congratulations, Damon Bailey of Hartwell, Ohio. The year’s still young but you’re a strong contender for Dumbest Criminal of 2010.

Sure anyone could steal a car and put stolen plates on it. Without having a driver’s license. And then get drunk and pass out in the car and get caught by the police.

But most people would figure they were deep enough in trouble at this point and call it a day. Not you, Damon, when woken up by the police officer you went that extra distance and told the officer you would track him down and kill him. Surprisingly this did not have the desired effect of causing the officer to let you off with a warning.

story

2

I’m guessing he’s never been that bright, and he’s not gonna change any time soon.

3

He should have done the more polite thing and offer the cop a beer.

4

He’s 31, so yeah, I’m guessing that your guess is right. By the age of 31, MOST people have outgrown activities such as this.

5

I’ve always heard a “B and B” could get you outa many a ticket.

6

Beer and blowjob?

Beer and buttsex?

I think I’ll just take the ticket.

7

The criminals are definitely dumb around here. Back in December, I went to the Christmas party of a business association at which the entertainment was a local comedian. One of the funniest things she did was talk about her experience on a local grand jury. She said that the grand jury had indicted five people that very day for being stupid. The way she told it was hilarious, and I assumed that she had embellished the facts or made the whole thing up.

The next morning the newspaper had a story about the grand jury indictments, and it turned out she hadn’t made up anything. Five people had been indicted in five separate incidents. The cases had the following similarities:

  1. Each person indicted was driving a car when arrested
  2. Each person was stopped because of a moving violation: running a stop sign or red light, driving left of center, speeding
  3. Every vehicle involved had either no license plates or plates that belonged on another vehicle
  4. None of the people arrested had a valid license to drive
  5. All of the cars contained illegally obtained OxyContin and at least one illegal drug (meth, marijuana, etc)
  6. Each of the people indicted had outstanding felony warrants at the time of the traffic stops

It appears to me that a police officer could do fairly well making drug busts in my southern Ohio town by sitting at an intersection and comparing the plates on passing vehicles with the vehicle description in the state database. None of these people would have been arrested if they had stayed out of cars.

8

That may have been an organized stupidity ring.

9

As I’ve always said, “Better stupid criminals than smart ones!”

10

It seems like the purpose of prison is really to punish the stupid.

11

Not long ago, there was a proposal here to do an automated version of that.

Since video cameras & computer software were available cheaply that could locate & read a license plate, the proposal was to install them in some freeway locations, where there were a few miles to the next exit. Then for every car that passed, the camera would read the license plate, and run the number through the state database, checking for outstanding tickets, or for warrants or a suspended license for the vehicle owner. If anything was found, a notice would be sent to the Highway Patrol dispatcher.

This was supposed to happen within the couple of minutes, before the car reached the next exit, so the dispatcher could possibly get a patrol car to the area in time to catch them.

It wasn’t actually done. One problem was the fear so many automated queries would crash the state computer system.