I would have posted this in GD, but I’m less interested in a scholarly debate on pornography than in Doper’s personal opinions and experiences.
Were you exposed to pornography as a child? (ie, running across Dad’s stash of skin mags, being friends with the kid who bought a Playboy to school, discovering sex manuals at the house you babysit at)
Was it a positive or negative experience for you? (ie, were you scared, fascinated, or indifferent to it?)
Now that you are older, do you wish someone had “protected” you from it? Or do you think that it’s a normal rite of passage? Do you think you were warped in some way?
I’ll go first:
Yes, as described in the other thread, I ran across a video in Mom & Dad’s room, and I’m guilty of reading the sex manuals at the house where I used to babysit. Brothers also found Dad’s stash of skin mags.
Oh, I was fascinated.
No, I don’t wish that someone had protected me from it. I mean, I’m glad that no one GAVE the stuff to me as a child, but I don’t regret seeing that stuff. To be honest, I do wonder what parts of my sexual psyche were affected. I’m willing to admit that seeing those things at an early age MIGHT have made me a bit more wanton as an adult.
Maybe I should post this in Zenster’s Recipe Thread:
How to turn Good Catholic Girl into Naughty Catholic Girl Add 3 parts repressive Catholic upbringing, 2 parts human curiosity, 2 parts healthy imagination, and 1 part graphic sexual images during formative teen years. Stir early and often.
Well, talk amongst yourselves. I’ll be over here in my little plaid skirt and black leather jacket.
Little plaid skirt, huh? Does it go all the way to the ground when you kneel or are you a NAUGHTY little Catholic schoolgirl?
First exposure was through my dad’s Esquire anthology. Varga paintings and cartoons I didn’t get.
Second exposure was through my great-grandparents’ 19th century marriage manual. I don’t remember what it was called or who it was by, but some years later I learned that it was a massive bestseller. It had diagrams and drawings which were titillating only because they were all I had.
Third exposure was through a Playboy my dad had, with pictures of Sharon Tate before she died. This finished the warping process.
Thanks, dropzone, but you didn’t answer the most important question. If you just want to post exposures, go to the other thread. I’m interested in knowing if you are glad you saw it or if you wish you hadn’t seen it.
As for the Naughty Schoolgirl thing - now what do YOU think?
Since both my parents were artists, they had a great anatomy textbook that contained some nude drawings. They also subscribed to National Geographic.
My older brother always bought Playboy, but since I was gay, most of the pics did absolutely nothing for me. But they did, occasionally, show a nude man.
I think the only “negative” effect was that there wasn’t enough. So I started doing my own nude drawings, and that’s how I learned how to draw.
I saw penthouse magazine at my uncle’s house, and my other uncle had a hot cable box and me and my brother used to watch playboy.
I was fascinated. The most fascinating was when I first saw a vagina. I had no idea it was there, I thought there was only pubic hair down there and no opening. Eventually it went from fascination to arousing, though I couldn’t put a time to it.
I think it’s better that I knew all about sex and the female body before I had my first girlfriend. I don’t think it harmed me in any way, although I could be considered a “horny bastard” these days.
Since I didn’t succeed in convincing Omni to try to throw a rolled-up napkin into your cleavage at the Dopefest, I’ll go with “naughty.”
And I’d rather talk porn with you than Jack, but, because you insist…
It was nice to have the exposure, I guess. But I’m not sure. The Esquire book had the right touch of light-hearted lewdness but the manual was too clinical and Victorian and the Playboy spread was tainted by Ms Tate’s murder some months later. Losing my virginity when home for my grandmother’s funeral did not help my association of sex with death, either.
But my Catholic boyhood left me with a pretty screwed up attitude toward sex, and I felt terribly guilty as well as horny when I looked at the pictures. and I had to be very furtive to look at any of this stuff. So sex is associated with guilt, too.
Death and guilt–it’s a wonder I’m not MORE screwed up!
Dad’s porno stash when I was 11. And not mild Playboy stuff either. This was hardcore.
I was utterly fascinated. I don’t know how I could have been protected from it as I actually had to dig and poke to find it.
No one wants to hear that children are sexual creatures, but they are. This does not mean that they should be engaging in sex, but they do have sexual thoughts and feelings.
I’m reminded of when my son was 7 and found his dad’s Playboy and hid it under his pillow. I was slightly alarmed and mentioned this to his pediatrician.
“You know what this means.” the doctor said gravelly.
“What?!” I asked, dreading the answer.
“It means your son is probably not gay.”
Thanks for the reminder, drop. My folks had an anthology of New Yorker comics from the 20s through the 50s, some of which were quite exciting to a youngster. Put the tit in titillation. The book is now on the bottom shelf in my TV room. Wonder if Junior has discovered it yet?
What most people have been discussing in this and the other thread, I don’t think is any big deal. Not much other than picking up dirty words, dirty jokes, etc. I’d guess the majority of people say 20 and over, were exposed to all three somewhere between 8 and 12 years old. I remember I was 9 years old in 69, and some of the older kids were joking about it. I had no idea why it was funny. So yeah, put my vote down for “rite of passage.” I would probably differ if exposure were at a far younger age, or to much more hardcore stuff.
I think I was curious about the magazines, mainly because I felt I wasn’t supposed to be seeing them. Can’t remember how old I was when I first learned how to “use” them. I do remember when my mom found my stash. This would have been sometime in high school. She never said a word. But when I came home they were sitting on top of my bed, with a note from my mom saying, “If you like this sort of thing why don’t you study to become a gynecologist?” What a hoot!
At the risk of hijacking, tho, how different are the experiences we have been relating compared to the online prevalence of hardcore nowadays? I think my kids are pretty naive about this sort of thing - they are aware of it, but aren’t interested. They are enjoying being kids and are in no big hurry to grow up. But can you imagine what it would have been like if when you hung out at your friend’s house whose parents weren’t home and could fire up the computer?
At the risk of sounding like a prude, I’m not sure the current prevalence of sex on the computer, and on TV, and the common usage of what was previously considered improper language is an improvement.
I guess I was nine or ten when I found my daycare mother’s husband’s bunch of softcore mags. Come to think of it, I must’ve known something before that, because I understood the letters section… Sure, I was fascinated.
The only guilt involved was a feeling that I was probably looking at something I wasn’t supposed to see. I mean, I’d seen the front pages in newspaper kiosks and knew that it wasn’t for kids. The sexual content itself wasn’t BAD, just not for me.
When I got older, it went from fascinating to arousing.
Did it warp me ? (All: “Something sure did!”) I don’t think so. It wouldn’t have hurt me NOT to see it, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. I knew the technicalities in rather exact anatomic details way before that. Liberated Scandinavia & all that.
Already posted to the other thread. When I was younger I was certainly interested, but some of the more extreme stuff made me think “ick” at the time. Did it have a negative impact on me? I don’t think so. It’s not like I take my vibrator everywhere with me.
Never really felt guilty (quite amazing considering my Catholic upbringing). But I was never caught, either.
When I went to a porn museum in Amsterdam, I was amused by much of it (particularly the 12 foot penis), but some of it made me feel like people who frequented the place were gynecologist-wanna-be’s. My mother, unlike the rest of us, refused to have to have her picture taken with the 12 foot penis, and wouldn’t put our pic in the photo album becaue “the grandchildren might see it.”
Yes, I was exposed to it as a child. Well, 11 years old or so. Found Dad’s stash (if one Playboy can be a stash).
You bet it was positive. Finding skin mags in your parents’ house is the Holy Grail of a boy’s life!
I firmly believe I should not have been protected. Furthermore, I firmly believe that my parents should have never cancelled Cinemax. Some rites of passage are much better if they occur every Friday night after dark and star Sylvia Kristel.
“exposed” to my dad’s playboy’s at about 8 years old, didn’t understand the jokes (fortunately I did remember one til I was old enough to get it)
I looked for the cartoons. not at all interested in the rest.
well, the line for me is around the “playboy” variety and depending on circumstances.
I personally purchased a playboy for my brother when he was about 13. When my son was shown same mag when he was about 8, I asked who and how, (turned out it was a YOUNGER kid, I told said kid’s mom so she could track it down). When I found my son’s stash when HE was about 13, I asked him who provided it. And, frankly, that was what was important to me. (answer in his case a male cousin who was a few years older).
It WOULD bother me if some other adult provided same to him.
Found Dad’s stash, mostly Playboys, and a few Penthouse. Though, I remember when I was really small, maybe around 4 or 5, I found an x-rated movie. Not knowing what it was, I popped it into the VCR. First time I ever saw a blowjob, though I didn’t know what it was at the time.
Not really surprised or anything. I knew all about vaginas and breasts, it wasn’t nothing I hadn’t seen before. I mostly read the jokes and cartoons. Although, one time I was looking at a Penthouse, and saw two lesbians. I had no idea WHAT they were doing (At that point, I knew all about the birds and the bees, or I thought I did) and was quite frankly, a little grossed out. I don’t know where my aversion to oral sex comes from (the thought STILL bothers me) but apparently, I’ve had it for a long time.
I don’t think it was a big deal. I would have found out sooner or later anyway.
Why is it obvious? I got my first dose of hardcore (a buddy had run a copy of one of his father’s tapes) when I was 8, and I was definitely sporting one.
My first dose of softcore was at 7, but I already knew the mechanics from reading anatomy texts.
I was fascinated.
I’m glad I wasn’t “protected”–I certainly don’t think it did me any harm, and it led me to learn what I was doing before I first had sex (a bit of education my first lover appreciated).
My parents have a large collection of porno videos and they were always kept on the shelf above the regular movies. It always seemed perfectly normal to me.
