We need a vacation ...

In My Humble Opinion
1

… but I am having a hard time convincing my husband that it is worth the expense.

Long story short: our last “real” vacation – when we went away somewhere and had no real plans or itinerary, save getting back on the plane – was in October 2001. We went to Acapulco for six days and five nights, and it was one of the best weeks of our lives. We went into town twice, for maybe eight hours total, but mostly what we did was soak up the sun and sit by the pool and read and nap and roll in the sheets and drink our weight in rum and have a fabulous time.

Since then, we’ve gone away several times. We’ve gone to San Diego, Boston, Vegas, Chicago. We’ve taken day and weekend trips to Baltimore, Atlantic City, NYC, Cape May, Pittsburgh, even South Bend, Ind. But those were more “active” vacations, they kind you come home from completely exhausted from trying to fit as much in as possible: whale watches, theater, gambling, football and baseball games, museums, etc. We love to travel.

We’ll be married seven years in April, and we’ve been through some stuff, both good and bad. Bought a house and a car. Family issues. Job changes. Several years of unsuccessful infertility treatment. We’re bored and depressed and going more than a little bit crazy, and I think it’s about time we went on another “Acapulco” vacation. Some place all-inclusive, with palm trees and a beach and a swim-up bar, where our cell phones won’t work but our digital camera will.

My husband agrees in principle, but when he looks at prices he completely balks. Personally, I’m at the point where I’m desperately to leave the country (or at least the state), but he thinks we’d be better off with a recliner and the Travel Channel. Any suggestions – both on where to go, and how to convince hubby that the cost is worth the improvement in our mental health?

2

Depends what he likes doing.
Pick up some travel docs on some places at a travel agency, bring them home.
But I’d go to Paris, no questions about it.

3

Paris? Hadn’t thought of that. I don’t think he’s ever been to Europe, and I’d love to go to France. There are beaches in France, too, although we’d definitely look like the pasty white overweight Americans that we are if St. Tropez or Cannes are all I’ve heard they are. He really enjoyed Mexico, so perhaps I can get him to consider Spain? Or Italy - he does love food.

But here’s my problem: I can’t even get him to discuss any of this. I’ve tried subtle subterfuge. Ordered AAA tourbooks and pamphlets from travel agents. Dropped hints to his friends. Even got our mothers involved (which, don’t even get me started). He “wants to go somewhere” but his optimal price range is $0-$5, round trip. (I swear to God, I married my father.) How can I get him to stop worrying about the big scary numbers and assure him that you can’t put a price on quality leisure time together?

4

How do you convince him? I say, remind that we’re only here on this Earth for a very short time so we need to do the stuff we can while we can. I’ve come to this realization lately while watching my mom get older, and trying to hurry and go the places she always wanted to go before she is too old to walk the Champs Elysees, or get lost in the Sistine Chapel. So in the last three years we’ve been to Rome, Venice, Florence, Lucerne, the landing beaches of Normandy, a whole bunch of other places in France, Paris twice, and London twice. This year we’re cruising the coast of California.

I’ve used this company and I’ve had good luck with them.

5

How about trying to find a compromise? Is it possible he just has no interest in the “sitting around by the beach” type of vacation. I know that would bore me to tears. Maybe find a place in which you could split up for the day: You taking your relaxing day and let him go off and explore an interest of his.

6

rockle, try HERE.

Not the usual place, but a lot of fun stuff to do, more if you like boating, swimming & fishing.

Inexpensive, & not too far from you.

Try staying at the historic Read House Hotel.

7

If the problem is soley one based on price, you may want to try this company . It is the eBay of the travel industry. I have yet to use it, but friends have used it to go on a honeymoon cruise and got a VERY good deal.

8

Put money aside without him knowing about it. Then whip out 2 thou and say where do you want to go?

Show him how much it costs to go to Paris, or wherever. I went cheaply, and spent $1500 for 15 days for everything. from Philly you can probably get r/t fare for $300 now(It’s going to cost me $400 to go from Milw to Tucson!) . Venice is my 2nd choice, but you can only spend a short time there–Italy wil be more expensive than France, but much cheaper than London. Of course you’ll need a passport for these, and he may not.

Jamaica??

Might sound sick, but point out how someone you know that just died young, and how they miss out on seeing things like that, living for today, like someone else above pointed out. The winter olympics are coming up, maybe seeing Torino, and all these people from all these countries might jump start him, but it doesn’t sound like it.

9

Do you need to go far away to have a relaxing holiday? At least once a year, I like to take a week off work and just stay home. I stock up on nice food, nice coffee, some alcohol, etc. I sleep in, rent a few movies, read a book. It’s all very affordable.

But some people can’t do this, because the garden needs mowing or they see an ad for a sale or their mother-in-law makes unreasonable demands on their time. If that’s how it would be for you, then I can see that staying at home might be less relaxing than going to work :slight_smile: But it’s worth thinking about otherwise.

10

We’ve gone on beach vacations twice, both times in Mexico (Acapulco and Cabo san Lucas). He said he had a great time on both trips (and the photographic evidence supports this). I wanted to go somewhere that would allow us to do nothing if we wanted to, or go snorkeling or shopping or to museums, or whatever, if we wanted to do that for a while. We don’t even necessarily have to be together at all times: just on the same flight in, the same flight out, and in the same room.

I prefer to go “away,” although it does not necessarily have to be far – just far enough that my parents or mother-in-law won’t call with stuff they need or want or just to chat. We take extended weekends throughout the year, for birthdays or anniversaries or just because, but I was hoping for a week or so where we’re together and nobody knows us. I’ve looked into going to the shore for a week, but that’s just as expensive as going somewhere more foreign, and to me it makes no sense to spend 10 hours in a car to go to another state when I can spend 2½ hours on a plane to go to another country, all for the same price. Am I being unreasonable?

11

C’mon Rockle. You could always jump in your Ford Explorer and go to Alabama to see the worlds largest office chair, or go push some Amish buggies not far from you(don’t get run over), or to Arizona to do 50 laps in a go-kart, or some bungee jumping in …Arizona(?), or to Toronto to do some curling, Montreal to do some trapeze-work, or to Taladega to ride one of those funky bikes around the track, or ride a Jeep thru a muck-filled field, or …

Does he watch that with you? Next time they go somewhere cool, talk it up until he likes it, look into it, then try to book it before he changes his mind. I’ve gotten lots of ideas from that show. I want to go to Berlin, that looked nice, but it doesn’t sound like his cup of tea. Oh…Octoberfest in Munich! Don’t tell me he doesn’t like beer.

That large office chair sounds good to me.

12

Funny you mention this … I was thinking about this earlier. He does occasionally watch with me, and he has said a few places “sounded interesting.” I should ask him what he thinks of Costa Rica (where, sadly, Wee Carissa Gaghan and her family were eliminated). That might make both of us happy. It has the beach factor, plus the stuff-to-do-factor, plus the Amazing Race factor.

Oktoberfest sounds interesting, but would I like it if I don’t like beer? Or wursts, for that matter? Can’t stand either of 'em.

13

Don’t forget that there are a number of active things to do at these resorts, like (wind)sailing, kayaking, and snorkeling. From my research–we’re planning to do something like that this summer–the all-inclusive resorts include those things for free. For a price you can try the more spectacular sports such as parasailing.

He wouldn’t have to just sit around on the beach.

14

Ah, then my idea definitely won’t work! :slight_smile:

15

It was a good suggestion, though. I certainly appreciate any kind of help on this one, as this is starting to turn into one of those Very Special Issues in our relationship at the moment. This might be worse than the Divorce Wallpaper.

16

I am truly starting to get an idea what you’re talking about. We have been in our fixer-upper for over two years now, and guess how much of the painting is done? If you said one room, one hallway, and one ceiling, you’d be right. And I’m not allowed to do it because Jim was a professional painter.
This is me on various days on this issue → :eek: :frowning: :confused: :mad: :dubious: :rolleyes: ;j Yes, it’s true - he’s driving me Jewish. :slight_smile:

With regard to the topic at hand, we’re planning a vacation we can’t afford in May, too. We are deeply in debt, and will be financing most of the vacation, but we’ve been together 6 years and haven’t been on one long, official vacation together yet - even our honeymoon was three days, three hours away. An opportunity has come up, and we’re going to take it.

17

I’d recommend Deep Creek Lake in Western Maryland. It’s not too far from you.
We go there every year between Christmas and New Year’s and it’s really nice. There are some reasonable places to rent, and you can sit around and watch it snow, you can ski and snow tube (fun!) or eat yourselves silly, or go antiquing.
In the spring and summer, you can rent boats and water ski or jet ski. An swim.

18

Good news. After much discussion and debate and a big huge fight, there has finally been some movement on this issue. Turns out, while cost is an aggravating factor, the real reason for hubby’s resistance is … he hates to “travel.”

Although, in his case, “travel” does not actually mean “get on a plane or whatever and go somewhere,” like it does for normal people, but “do the research and plan the trip and make the arrangements and pack the suitcase and drive to the airport and find a goddamn place to park and go through security and customs and find something eat in the airport at six the fark o’clock in the morning because we can never get anywhere on time so we didn’t have time for breakfast before we left the house.” Or, in other words, he has trouble with our normal, everyday organizational malfunctions. Which, duh! That’s why we need a vacation, sweetheart! (She said, through gritted teeth.)

Thankfully, being on the airplane and then sitting on a beach – or not, depending on the weather and his mood and whether or not he has a hangover from one too many margaritas the night before – for seven days and six nights is not something to which he is opposed. In fact, he’s “all for it.” I have just have to get him there.

So I’ll be taking care of everything, up to and including the moment our flight begins to board (which I would have done anyway, because I love the man, but most of the time I can’t trust him to pick a freaking sandwich at Subway), and I think we’re going to Mexico. Right now I’m looking at either Cozumel or somewhere in the Riviera Maya. We are not categorically opposed to domestic travel – and in fact we love it, normally – but we want to go “away” away. Somewhere with a beach and an all-inclusive resort and people whose job it is to bring us cold Pacificos and Mai Tais all day long, where we can turn off our cell phones and ignore our parents and jobs for a week. Most of Mexico fits the bill. We’ve already been to the western coast, so we want to try to Yucatán this time.

Anyone ever been there? Will it be worth it? (Even though I am firmly of the opinion that the worst possible day on vacation is better than the best possible day at work.)

19

I don’t have much to say on the topic of vacations, but I would like to offer you ladies some Divorce Carpeting to go with the Divorce Wallpaper and the Divorce Paint (or lack thereof). It’s a lovely piece of pink? beige? something carpeting that has a giant rectangle cut out of the corner from where the cat kept peeing on it. Evidently it is now Good As New.

rockle, I hope you get your much-deserved vacation!

20

Yes, I’d like to know more about the Divorce Wallpaper. We’re planning an addition to our house, and I’d like to keep it from becoming a Divorce Addition.
After the nasty ‘Let’s Paint The Living Room and Dining Room’ event (which nearly turned into Divorce Paint :wink: ), this sounds interesting.
Please share.