Weather Control Services has set the dial back to our regularly scheduled August here in south Jawja. It is hot and humid. I trust that WCS has also adjusted the northwest coast’s weather back to it’s regularly scheduled August and Kalley is now happy.
In other news… I will be away from my puter next week while in Iowa. Y’all try not to miss me too much, ok? I’ll miss posting but I get to meet Misstee so that’ll help a whole bunch.
I guess I’m gonna be right there with you, swampbear. (I know that other people call you swampy, but I don’t think I’m officially one of the Cool Kids yet. See, I’ve only posted in a couple of the MMPs, but I do read them religiously. But I just don’t usually have a whole lot to say about them, and what I do have to say usually already has been said better by someone else anyhow. So I don’t think I’m One Of The Cool Kids Who Can Refer To People By Their Nicknames yet, even though FairyChatMom and Exgineer have both “talked” to me, and in the same thread and all even. But if you tell me I can then I will feel very privileged to use your nickname. I figure that’s safest.)
Um. What was I talking about again?
OH! Right. Going To Hell For The Giggles In Church. I suppose then that it’s even worser to get them during communion, hey? See, there was this 18-month-old right next to me (of COURSE she was with her mom, but you know kids, they’ll do anything…) and evidently she’s going through some sort of “pretending to eat everything” phase, because I heard this scritching noise, sort of looked sideways and she was chewing on the communion rail. Soooo, I tried (really, I did!) to not get the giggles, but then her mom stopped her and she started doing the “piranha” thing, making a noise like “OWM” while chomping her mouth. And I just couldn’t help it, really I couldn’t. I started giggling, right there at the communion rail.
But I figure, hey, God’s got a sense of humor, right? So he’ll forgive me for exercising MINE right then, I’m sure…
A fine woman like Misstee is wasted on you, sir. Just make sure you make her brother’s acquaintance. Or make her brother. Or her brother and his acquaintance. But leave the fair Misstee for Vunderbob and I to lust after. In our hearts. Just like your former governor/president from south Jawja.
Tee hee! Lust and making acquaintances! Who knows what evil lurkers in the hearts of MMPers?!? The ShibbOleth knows… Next I’ll have him tearing the tags off of his mattresses and pillows. Parking in the No Parking zones. Pouring regular coffee for those who want decaf. Driving 54 mph in the fast lane of the interstate. Returning DVDs without rewinding them first. Teaching small children the naughty Scrabble words and how to steal candy from the local Kwik-E-Mart without getting caught… Mwah-ha-ha-ha!
Sing it with me, kids…
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great
When a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate…
Right, it’s lab experiments for the lot of ya.
It’s only a mortal sin if you snort the sacramental wine out your nose (or hock a communion wafer through it) while at the communion rail. Otherwise it’s a venal sin and you can just say one Our Father, three Hail Marys and a handful of Acts of Contrition and you’ll be mostly forgiven. As long as you don’t start humming certain Python tunes whilst you do your penance.
As an aside, he says, noting her boardname has to do with dogs and parentage, have you met Labdad yet? Are you two related?
Doggy of course you can call me swampy you big silly. Gettin’ the giggles over something a baby did is good cause babies are all sweet and innocent and God likes em a lot. I’m going to hell cause I got tickled over a rude but funny parody of a hymn. That’s different. If you end up in hell cause of babies I was on the way long time ago. There’s usually a baby in the pew right in front of me and I “goochie goochie” at her during the Peace. I can’t go to hell for playing “goochie goochie” even during the Peace. During confession perhaps, but never the Peace.
BTW I’m Whiskypalian so I ain’t so much worried over the whole mortal/venal sin thing.
Anybody who goes by dogmom get’s my totally unauthorized unofficial sanction as one of the “cool kids!” Sooooo, tell us about the chillins. 
Indiana is a big state, DogMom. Which part of it are you growing cows in?
VunderBob, recovering Hoosier
Did you ask before you borrowed it? Did you stop to think that somebody might be using it, or saving it for a special occasion? (If it rains on somebody’s wedding, it’s your fault.) And what if you break it? What if we never get our right weather back? You think we can just go to the store and get a summer of just right days, well then, you’ve got another think coming, let me tell you! We put in days and days of rain and gloom, and don’t get snow for Christmas, just so we can have these summers, and then you borrow it. And you don’t even have any weather we’d want, so we can’t trade–so you got our weather for free, and we got melted, fried, baked, seared and/or roasted! We ought to sue. I’m complaining about this all week, (no, swampy, our weather is most definitely not back to normal) so get use to it. It’s the least you can do.
I once sneezed into the Communion chalice. But I figure it was okay, theologically speaking. See, as a Catholic, I was obliged to believe that the Communion wafer transubstantiated into the Body of Christ, and if anything is germ resistant, it would be the Body of Christ. If I’d been just a regular old Christian, well, the wafers are still blessed, and standing in for Christ, so even Protestant Communion wafers should be able to withstand a sneeze without starting an epidemic.
Anybody know The Vatican Rag?
So you’re the lazy bastard that did that. I rented the DVD of Secondhand Lions over the weekend and who ever had it before me didn’t rewind it. Lazy morons… I mean, really, how long does it take to rewind a freaking DVD?!?
My inlaws allowed us to borrow a movie they rented. It was a VHS! Who rents these things still?
It isn’t like they don’t have a DVD player.
Now we have to rewind it after we watch it! The humanity
You do realize what you’d get if you bought a used copy of Secondhand Lions, don’t you?
Yes, that right. Secondhand Secondhand Lions.
And if you wanted to know precisely how long this movie was, you would watch secondhand Secondhand Lions while watching the second hand of your watch. You’d be a secondhand watching second Secondhand Lions watcher.
And if you watched your secondhand Secondhand Lions on the same night you watched The Lion In Winter and The Wind and the Lion, you’d have a really long night of movie watching.
Get the lion out of the wardrobe, please, before sosme witch makes him cross-eyed.
I think my head just exploded. 
Deal with it. You’ll ultimately be laughing at the east coast anyway, because VunderWife now lives here, and she’s a hurricane magnet.
You see, her Dad divorced her Mom, and he moved to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. She went to live with him in 1981-82 to go to college, and she attracted 7 named storms that hit the Gulf Coast. She went back to Indiana to live, but returned late in the summer each year, and 4 of the 5 trips she made drew a tropical storm or better.
We married in 1987. In September 1988, I had to go to Meridian MS on business, and we decided to take some time to visit her Dad in Biloxi to show off the then 6 month old VunderKind. We flew into Meridian and the leading edge of Hurricane Florence. The day we left, we could see Gilbert out in the gulf before it went rampaging through Mexico.
We didn’t see her Dad for a couple of years, and the next time we did, it was with his family in Orange County CA, over New Years 90-91. We thought we’d be safe from the hurricanes, but her presence there broke a 7 year dought in the LA basin.
We were lucky when her Dad died in the Louisiana Bayou in 1993 that it was June, and too early for a hurricane to develop.
Now, we are approaching the 1 year mark in SE Virginia. We had one hurricane scare already, a new Tropical Storm Bonnie that is on track to hit us overland Friday, and TD 3 that so far is expected to follow Bonnie almost identically a couple of days later.
Ladies and Germs, the SE coast is screwed.
swampy, thank you! Wow, I feel like One Of The Cool Kids now! 
Church Babies are great, aren’t they? I’m Lutheran, so all our Church Babies are indoctrinated from a Very Early Age to like strangers, because the primary entertainment after church is Pass The Baby. The best part about it is they’re all cute and everything and then when they get cranky they go home with someone else.
Shibb (may I call you Shibb?) as I mentioned above I’m Luthern, so we don’t do the whole venial / mortal sin thing either, but I’ll keep that in mind if I ever go Roman Catholic. Haven’t met Labdad and not related. DogDad doesn’t post, and I’m pretty sure CurrentDog doesn’t either, though you never know with him.
Tupug, per request, I shall tell you about CurrentDog. I am, at the moment, owned by only one CurrentDog, by his request. He really prefers to stay an OnlyDog, because he’s VERY jealous of Being Left Out Of Human Attention.
CurrentDog’s name is Kai, and, although he likes to think he runs the DogHouse, he really doesn’t (and he does know that). He has his own room (it’s really the guest room but he uses it the most, so we call it Kai’s Room) with his own Doggy Bed in it.
He’s about 5 years old. We acquired him from the Dog Pound in 2000. They said he was “full-blooded Malamute” but as anyone can see that’s complete horse hockey. We think he’s part Siberian Husky, part German Shedder…erm…Shepherd (gotta herd everything!) and part Labrador Retriever.
He has decided that his two jobs are to guard our house by barking and scaring away ANYONE that comes to our house, but fortunately he stops when we say “enough!”, and retrieving the paper. (these are self-designated jobs; we didn’t teach him either one.)
He has one brown eye and one blue eye. The bandana is courtesy of my parents, who think he’s just the greatest thing breathing except for their grandkids, and he’s VERY jealous of it. I had to take it off him one day to wash it (whew did it STINK.) and he sulked all day until it was dry and back on his neck.
One of his favorite places to sleep in the summertime is the bathtub.
He HATES to have his picture taken, and will turn his head to prevent a head-on picture. However, if you can sneak one in, he’ll give his opinion of you. He does sit nicely, however, especially if you’re bribing him with some fresh bread. He’s really the sweetest dog I’ve ever seen - he LOVES to be snuggled and cuddled. He (of course) will try to share the bed with us at night, and has his favorite spot down at the foot of the bed (right in the fan air-stream), which conveniently is in a good spot between my feet & DogDad’s. He’s also very much in touch with his Inner Puppy.
(Like to show off my dog? Me? Naaaahhhhhhh…but if you got more questions, I gots more answers and can get more pictures! :D)
vunderbob, NorthEast Injana. We’re one mile east of a Pig Farm, about 1 mile northeast of cows, horses, and goats, and about 5 blocks west of the Goat / Sheep / Pig / Emu / Duck House. You sure can tell where The Edge Of Town starts - it goes “Factory, house, house, house, GOAT!”
Sorta like Duck, Duck Goose with Architecture.
Though I must confess I personally do not grow any cows. I leave that to far more experienced cow-growers. I just eat the cows when the cow-growers are done with them. I’ve never even SEEN a cow seed.
Oh yeah, and Kai also takes great exception to not being allowed to meet-n-greet with horses and cows, which he seems to regard as HUGE, odd-smelling dogs that don’t play well with others. So he feels obligated to BARK at them. Fortunately the horses around here are rather used to that sort of thing (well, hey, we’ve got a Small Amish Enclave roun-cheer and those horses are used to doggone near EVERYTHING.)
Hmmm, Amish in NE Indiana. The ones I know of in that area live in and around Berne, or by Auburn.
FWIW, I grew up in Goshen, graduated from TSU in Angola, and I then lived in Indianoplace for 20 some years before moving to Virginny. Some of the Amish around Shipshewanna are relatives of mine.
vunderbob, yup, near Auburn.
And oh, my, I nearly forgot to mention CurrentDog’s favorite activity in the whole wide world: geocaching. Some call it “Advanced Technology Tupperware Hunt in the Woods.” We prefer to call it “Hiking with Geek Gear.” It’s gotten to the point where we can’t even say the word “geocaching” or “caching” without Kai going insane. If we pick up the GPSr, he gets hysterical with joy, running to DogDad, then me, then the door, then DogDad again ad infinitum. Or at least ad leashem (until we put his leash on). He just loves to go hiking in Places He Doesn’t Usually Go.
“Doin’ the Vatican rag!”
I know it. I think it’s an important part of my catechism training, memorising the words. More important than the rest of my learning-to-be-Catholic education.
I never got any emails because when misstee said she’d emailed me I recalled I hadn’t updated my address, so I tried to, and got locked out. I wasn’t allowed to use my account or read the forums until today. So even though I wanted to post I couldn’t.
Today Coldfire fixed it. Thank you, Coldfire.
Incidentally, I’m always ready for autumn. I hate summer. Bloody 90-degrees-and-humidity Toronto. Thankfully this summer has been cold and wet. I much prefer cold and wet.
Forgive me if this is a little incoherent- I just worked for six days and caught a bad cold yesterday. And I need to make dinner for my lousy husband. He’s going to expect dinner. And so is Driving Husband, who should be here presently, with a brand-new bottle of rum. 1st husband is only lousy because he still cannot cook.
Oh, Driving Husband and Quasi-Daughter are dating. That is icky and quas-incestuous-sounding.
It may be because quasi is a queasy word to begin with, making quasi-incestuous just to gicky for words. Although quasi is more precise, prehaps if you took to calling Q-D, Pseudo-Daughter instead. This would eliminate the idea of a quasi-incestuous relationship.
However, it would make their budding relationship a psuedo-relationship, and they may object. If they do, just give them a can of coke.*
if they do continue dating under the same appellations, would he become a Quasi-Driving Husband? Wouldn’t that mean he could only sort of drive?
*It’s the real thing.
Kudos to the WCS…I rode around topless all weekend and had a great time. 
Got together Sat night with a dear friend I haven’t been out with in a while. Drunken misconduct abounded, but we were safe at home. Hubby was playing a gig out of town, so it turned into a pajama party. The video camera happened to be close at hand, and the resulting tape had us rolling on the floor laughing at ourselves the next morning.
I must say that I’ve never sneezed, coughed, or snorted into the communion cup…but I do have to admit I have giggled at many a baby during the Liturgy (ya just can’t help yourself…they’re too cute!)
Just want to chime in with Kallessa on the beastly weather out here, (cue Buster Pondexter) it is ** Hot Hot Hot!** I’d stand up to shout an Amen!, but my skeleton melted several hours ago. WE went to the Portland Street of Dreams today besides. It was realtors’ tour day and we got in free, which is a very good price, but my Og it was hot! The wife even admitted that maybe we should install a heat pump this winter, or sometime soon. Right now we are at the (air conditioned) real estate office, at 800 pm, cause it’s bloody hot!. But Missus says we hafta go home now, so I’ll talk (write?) to you later.
Did I mention it was HOT!?
