Weather Control Services

Dear Weather Control Services,

Thanks for the unseasonably pleasant weather. It was great to be able to get out and not spontaneously burst into flame, or melt into a pile of goo because the humidity repeatedly put the flames out at the first sign of smoldering. Yup, you did good this past weekend with the weather.

Usually August is set to “Swelter”, but not this past weekend. Nope. The Weather Control knob was definitely set to “Beautiful”. Let’s face it, “Sultry” is nice when you’re talking about women, but outdoor temperatures? Not so much the good thing.

So let me just say, you guys at Weather Control are really “on the ball”. Not like the slack-assed crew they had in there last March. Man, what were they thinking? “Winter Wonderland” is one thing, but “Frozen Tundra”? They really need to take a page out of your playbook. You are definitely the “A Team” when it comes to weather and climate. You all deserve a big raise, or a medal or something nice like that. Maybe you can branch out and control the weather for the whole planet, not just my local locality, because you do such a nice job.

Yer pal,

For further reading, see also the OP for “Muddy Boots Near Dayton”. Much sameness occurred this weekend, only my brother went too, I remembered the bug spray and my candy bar, we de-lostified a whole family and a group of old-people hikers, plus his dog swam in the river. And I fell on my butt trying to get down to the river so his dog could swim. Other than that, the similarities astound.

I’d like to say thanks for extending the range of excellent weather down into the Eastern Tennessee area. Not having to use my air conditioner for several days has been wonderful. Were the normal fellows for my area on vacation or have there been staff cutbacks? If there were cutbacks, can I request that you remain assigned to my area, at least until November? After that, we are willing to be covered by the folks from San Diego.
I’d like it to continue. Must Weather Control really force a return to normal temperatures and humidity soon? We’re much happier here the way it’s been.

Rue I hear ya. I gotta give props to the weather control services folks for the bee-yoo-ti-ful weather in south Jawja this weekend. Saturday morning I walked out on my back porch at 7 AM. It’s 68 degrees, with this wunnerful cool breeze blowing from the NNE. I swear, it was like a touch of fall. The temp got up to around 90 but the humidity stayed low and that breeze (ever so slight but oh so niiiiiiiiiiiice) hung around all day. This was especially good cause I went to a reception that friends of mine threw for their parents 60th wedding anniversary on Saturday afternoon. This reception was held in Parrott, GA (which I have mentioned before, keeping in tune with the retro theme in this MMP) at the Chinaberry Cafe which has this reception hall which is really an old cotton warehouse. See, it has AC but not real good AC so I was looking forward to sweltering in humidity all dressed up in a fetching dark blue with a hint of a gray pinstripe suit. Instead, I was comfortable all afternoon. Plus, I got to see a traffic jam on Main Street Parrott, GA. That doesn’t happen everyday. Plus I ate lunch at the Chinaberry Cafe which was good. I had meatloaf, cabbage, mac and cheese and some really good biscuits. So Saturday was good all the way around. Sunday was good too. Some friends came over and we hung at the pool all afternoon. It was 88 degrees, sunny and real low humidity. MMMMMMMMMM… Couse this week it’s gonna return to our regularly scheduled August, but the weather break this weekend was a good thing.

In other news, I’m going to hell and it’s partly Shibb’s fault. Well, maybe not really, but I’m giving him part of the blame anyways. See, I went to church yesterday. One of the hymns was “All Things Bright and Beautiful.” My mouth was singing the words in the hymnal but my brain was singing the Monty Python version. This resulted in me gettin’ a case of the giggles in church. That’s wrong. Especially right after communion when I’m supposed to be thinking about Jesus and being all happy cause I got my sins confessed and absolved and all that stuff. So instead of being all goodly and righteous I was all giggly. Shibb posted the Monty Python rendition of “All Things Bright and Beautiful” a couple months or a few weeks ago in the MMP. I blame him for it being all fresh in my mind. So, I’m going to hell and Shibb made it happen. He is a bad influence. Course he probably likes being a bad influence so I’ll bet he won’t even be the least bit sorry he has caused my soul to be damned for eternity or at least until I get absolution again.

-swampbear (Damned for eternity right now)

No freaking kidding.
We actually turned our air conditioner … OFF.
Now, this is Baltimore. You just don’t do that in Baltimore in August, unless you want to die.
It can be 85° by 7:00 a.m.
You can brand yourself with your car’s seatbelt. It’s quite normal to see people standing outside their car in a parking lot, with the A/C on full-blast, waiting for it to cool the car enough for them to get in.

August in Baltimore is usually the three H’s: Hazy, Hot, and Humid. Heat in the upper 90s and humidity around 98%.
We get constant warnings: ozone warnings, warnings about the elderly and infirm not going outside, making sure you drink enough water, don’t jog or work outside during the middle of the day, etc.
I’ve always suspected the TV weather guys just load the same, “Hazy, hot and humid, with continued highs in the upper 90s, humidity near 100%” thing into their 5-Day Forecast and leave it for the whole month.

But the past few days? Just heavenly. We opened all the windows, turned all the ceiling fans on and got the house aired out. We did lots of yardwork.
Sleeping was great. I love sleeping in 55° weather with the windows open.
It’s nice again today, but it’s supposed to get hot again by tomorrow.

In case any of y’all are wondering, this is what Shibb did that’s causing me to go to hell. He should be ashamed of himself is all I’m sayin’.

"All Things Dull and Ugly"

Monthy Python

All things dull and ugly
All creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty,
The lord god made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings.
He made their brutish venom,
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small
All things foul and dangerous
The lord god made them all.

Each nasty little hornet
Each beastly little squid
Who made the spiky urchin
Who made the shocks… he did.

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small.
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The lord god made them all.


65 deg. F this morning in Tidewater Virginia, and I was actually chilly on my bike ride to work until I got warmed up. I still had a good sweat on when when I got to the office 5 miles later, however.

I have become convinced that the whole “global warming” thing is total BS, because the weather has been getting noticably cooler around here for a few years now. I can’t remember when we last hit 90, and the winters are starting to get annoying. Hell, I’ve got plants with a bunch of nice tomatos that are just sitting there staying green, and the habaneros aren’t doing squat. One lousy eggplant.

Stupid weather.

I bet you did look quite fetching.

*- BiblioCat, whose husband’s idea of “dressing up” mean putting on clean jeans. * :rolleyes:

Heck, if you want to pull a quote from swampy’s post I’d choose this one:

That’s damned impressive.

It’s a hell of a lot easier to imagine Swampy all decked out in a suit than Swampy going to church. Since he’s singing alternative lyrics to the hymns, I’ll have company when I wind up in Hell for checking out the wimminfolk of the congregation…

Well, somebody must have told those climate guys that we needed rain cause that’s what we got this weekend. Lotto rain. (Not the ticket kind where it rains gazillions of dollars…just the plain ol’ fashioned water-type rain.) It’s okay, though, cause Mr. Anachi’s posies needed plain ol’ fashioned water-type rain an they were all bloomin’ happy about it.

We had my Mom’s 80th birthday party on Saturday but it was alright since it was inside at my sister’s house. I got her a funny card and some perfume. She didn’t like the card much but she liked the perfume so that was jake. My niece, Mini-Barbee Doll [sup]TM[/sup], gave me a picture she took from over at the beach when we were on vacation. It’s a picture of me pretendin’ to be all sultry. Ha, ha! I’m gonna scan it and see how it comes out case anybody wants a sultry brunette e-mail. Ha, ha!

swampy, did you get any pics of you in your sultry pinstripes?

Tupug (currently more damp than sultry)

I would also like to thank the weather gods for the beautiful weather we had this weekend. Friday I took my kids on a 7 hour play ground adventure. That’s right, we played for 7 hours, with a small break to eat and potty. Saturday we had beautiful school clothes/supplies shopping weather. Sunday presented us with a small afternoon shower, but it was over before dinner. ( And we were watching NASCAR anyway )
Today we are going to clean out kids’ closets and see what clothes still fit for the upcoming school year.

As with Tupug, I have to say that we have copious amounts of rain here. In the paper this weekend they said that June/July already had more rainfall than a whole normal summer here (and our main cash crop in the summer is rain). To top that, the first week of August had more rain than a normal entire August. Which is rainy season. And it’s scheduled to rain cats and frogs tonight.

But yesterday I was feeling guilty about too much work time and not enough kid time, so we drove up to Cedar Key for lunch. Which is about twice as far as I’d reckoned. Outside the restaurant, behind a newspaper machine, my kids found a nest of kittens. They were mostly white with spots (sorta like me) and one was a Siamese. All of them, as far as we could tell, had at least one extra toe on each foot. The attention of my children attracted the attention of adults and at least two were “adopted” on the spot. My kids begged me to take some home but I was resolute.

From there we stopped off later at Homosassa Springs, home of nine beautiful manatee cows and many other fine forms of fauna. We got front seats for the manatee review, and it was fun watching them poke their fubsy heads above water looking for a carrot or vitamin snack from the park volunteer. We got to see most of the park and all of the animals even though bad weather threatened the whole time. Afterwards we stopped for some Belgian beer at the Belgian-style beer brewery in Spring Hill. Why the heck they decided to put good beer in such a remote part of Florida I’ll never know, but I’ve learned not to question such serendipitous things and just accept that I can occasionally have a nice blonde just 30 minutes or so north of me. It’s not as remote there as Hernando Beach (which, as far as we could find, had no actual beach) or Aripeaka, which was pretty but small, with crackers fishing from the bridges.

So Sunday was pretty nice, we only got a little rain, otherwise it was pleasant and we saw a good stretch of some of the more remote parts of the Gulf coast.

Oh, and I am beside myself with glee having lead Swampy down the path to perdition (not the Road, I’m not Tom Hanks).

We’ve only used the AC for 3 days this summer. Last summer it was on from June until September!

Our lawn is really looking good since it has been so nice and cool.

Oh and I found out I do indeed have a swimming pool! It is buried in our yard. They filled in the inground pool and left it there.

I now return you to your regulalry scheduled MMP.

[quote = ShibbOlethAfterwards we stopped for some Belgian beer at the Belgian-style beer brewery in Spring Hill.
Oh, and I am beside myself with glee having lead Swampy down the path to perdition (not the Road, I’m not Tom Hanks).[/quote]

Well, anybody who would stop off and buy his minor children beer would have no qualms about leading an adult down the path to perdition. :smiley:

Biblio blush why thank you. I do think I look particularly fetching all suited up.

Ex I thought it was might nice of em to throw a shindig for their 'rents big 60 too. Matter of fact I helped. I made 50 dozen cheese crisps for the reception and helped with the set up and break down. I like my friends parents a lot so I was glad to do it.

Puggie no pictures of me all suited up. See, I ran around with the digital camera taking pictures of everybody else, so none got taken of me. Well, maybe a picture got taken cause there was someone else running around with a camera. Oh well.

vunderbob just so ya know, not only do I go to church right regular, I also serve on my church’s Vestry. So There! :stuck_out_tongue:

The path to perdition starts with the inability to code quotes properly. Shibb’s evilness has an awful strong hold on me.


San Diego checking in!

Who wants to visit???

I thought it was supposed to be a nice weekend. Forecast was supposed be hi 70’s/low 80’s. Scattered rain.

Friday- didn’t do much because of that whole work thing. LilMiss was sentenced to room cleaning when we arrived home. Much tears and whining was had by all. Except me. 'Cuz I’m mean. Long around 11pm we started playing bored… I mean board games. How do you play Battleship? I learned that you track YOUR calls AND your opponent’s calls. She didn’t. So she kept calling the same numbers all over again. Drove me nuts.
Saturday we braved the hell known as Toys R Us. Had to buy LilMiss’s sister a birthday present. I hate Toys R Us. The guy who worked in dolls knew a wee too much about Bratz dolls. And My Little Pony. Saturday evening was glorious. Not humid. Coolish. She wanted to go bike riding with a friend. Friend wasn’t home, so she was moping. My brilliant idea? I’ll go biking with her!

I haven’t been on a bike in 20 years.

No bruises. No falling. Just a serious feeling of ineptitude.

Yesterday started out drizzly and cool. No, I don’t live in Washington. The clouds parted, temps heated (low 80’s), dewpoint raised, MissTake had an afro. Went to LilMiss’s sisters birthday party. Very odd. The collective Dad (the Ex), me, LilMiss, ex #2, HER child (B’day girl), AND Dad’s new gf. Along with assorted people I have never met. Everything was fine-ish. Until the tornado sirens went off. That was fun. Suffice it to say, party ended fast.

At home it was nice out. Partly cloudy. If the breeze was up, the humidity was tolerable. Tomorrow our high is supposed to be in the mid 60’s. 20 degrees lower than normal.

Aha! It’s you! You guys did it! The East coast stole our weather!!!

You, you . . . despicable, that’s it, you’re despicable! Nice cool weather. Hint of fall. Chilly while driving to work. You are talking about Pacific Northcoast summer weather and we want it back. NOW! It’s freaking 85 degrees here at 10 in the morning–that’s not right. It can be 85 degrees at 5 in the afternoon, but the morning is strictly off limits. They say it will be in the high 90’s today, maybe into three digits. **We don’t want no three digit weather! ** EVER! You do realize that most people in this usually perfect place don’t even have air conditioners is their houses? Lots of people don’t even have fans–'cuz we aren’t supposed to need them, we get breezes, dang it! So you can open your doors and windows and cool off the whole house before you go to bed. And we get cool, cool nights–not 65 degree cool, 55 degree cool, so you can sleep all night, not sweat all night. I demand you give us aor weather back. You want a summer like that, you come and live here. Stealing our weather, humph! Next thing you know, they’re gonna want our beer. Hrumph!

swampy, just be glad that Shibb didn’t post the words to Every Sperm is Sacred.

NUH, UH!!! It just got borrowed.