Went to a wedding yesterday.
Bride and groom each had six attendants. They flanked the bridal couple, and the stage was so small, they left an opening of only about six feet. The only guests who could see the bride and groom were the ones right in front.
The attendants could have been positioned in a semi-circle, but instead, they were in straight lines, facing the bride and groom, backs to the guests. That’s all about 80% of the guests could see – backs.
I’ve been to a lot of weddings, in various size churches, various size wedding parties, and this is the first time I couldn’t see even a piece of the bride and groom.
So next time you’re planning a wedding, put the attendants on the stage and take a seat in different parts of the church. See what your guests will see, and rearrange your attendants if it looks like most of them won’t be able to see you.
That said, it was a nice wedding. Bride’s colors were black and silver, and everyone was beautiful. And it’s the first time I’ve heard the Smashing Pumpkins in a church. 
What Smashing Pumpkins dong did they play? I ask because my first dance song was “Luna”.
Tonight – it was their wedding song, played in the middle of the ceremony.
When I first heard it coming over the church’s crummy speaker system, I wondered if someone was playing an April Fool’s joke. It sounded awful.
Oh, another thing that could have been checked beforehand. The candlelighters couldn’t get the candles lit. Damn things kept going out. The poor little girls finally just gave up.
Six each? That seems a little excessive.
I thought so too, but I don’t know what the standard is.
I’ve been to just one other wedding with six each, and the “stage” was a lot bigger – plenty of room for everyone to spread out. I figured they each must have had six really good friends they didn’t want to disappoint.
They’re just regular folks, not the type who think they have to put on a big show. No flowers or big bows on the pews, and just crepe paper and little bride and groom cutouts at the reception, nothing fancy anywhere.
I loved the guys’ tuxes – long jackets, almost to the knees. Hadn’t seen those before, but this is Iowa, so they’re probably out of fashion already.
I’m not sure about Iowa wedding customs but I’ve sung at many weddings here in Sydney and I don’t think ever seen more than three attendants each. The norm would be two, although a significant minority of couples have only one attendant each.
I went to a wedding today and there were five each, 4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen, a best man and a matron of honor.
I’ve been to some weddings where the bride apparantly had a hard time saying no and the groom had to fill out his side with ‘not s close’ friends. Most I ever saw was 8 each. Yep, eight per person actually getting married. 4 were little kids, too. So, almost 20 people in the front of the church. The reception looked about as costly as my house! But hey, it didn’t actually bother me. Just noted the rather large number.
One of the nicest ceremonies I’ve attended was a combo Buddhist/Baptist affair. It was held in a garden area of a local park. The groom had three attendants, best man position was a female, his closest friend growing up. The bride had 4 attendants, one of them being a guy. And that guy was the only person in the ceremony besides the Baptists minister wearing a regular (business style) suit. The others were in various, but fancy and tasteful, outfits. The bride wore a traditional-ish (kinda slinky) wedding dress. The Maid of Honor, and the reason I was there, shee being my GF at the time, wore a wonderfully beautiful sleeveless black dress with black lace almost reaching the floor behind her, the front of the dress came to about her knees, so whatever you call this style. One of the bride’s girls was in a (I guess) traditional Buddhist attire. Maybe it was just Tibetan. To start the ceremony, they just all walked up to where the Monk and Minister were standing.
I loved it. One of the most beautiful things I have seen in my life, and one of the most romantic days (nights) I have yet experienced, too. I guess with some people, it could’ve all come across as pretentious and silly. But knowing the people involved, I knew they simply wanted to “share the love” of their special day. Yes, sincerely so and not sickeningly sweet. It was the best wedding those two people could imagine, so they did it.
[QUOTE=AuntiePam]
Went to a wedding yesterday.
Bride and groom each had six attendants. They flanked the bridal couple, and the stage was so small, they left an opening of only about six feet. The only guests who could see the bride and groom were the ones right in front.
The attendants could have been positioned in a semi-circle, but instead, they were in straight lines, facing the bride and groom, backs to the guests. That’s all about 80% of the guests could see – backs.
I’ve been to a lot of weddings, in various size churches, various size wedding parties, and this is the first time I couldn’t see even a piece of the bride and groom.
So next time you’re planning a wedding, put the attendants on the stage and take a seat in different parts of the church. See what your guests will see, and rearrange your attendants if it looks like most of them won’t be able to see you.
Miss Manners addressed this in “Painfully Proper Weddings”. I don’t have the book in front of me, but the answer to why not have the attendants face the audience is that it’s not a Broadway show and to have the attendants face the audience would symbolically have them turning their backs on God.
She said it much more tactfully - and in blue-black ink 
VCNJ~
Hmmmmm. Miss Manners’ explanation seems strained, but I imagine she has the facts on this tradition, so I won’t argue.
NoClueBoy, that sounds like a lovely wedding. The vibe I got from this one is that it was something they wanted to get over and done with. Brides should beam and grooms should have silly smiles. These two were tense and expressionless.
My son and his wife each had four attendants, but the wedding was outdoors, so no problem with space. The attendants flanked the couple, bodies turned toward the audience but they were looking at the couple and the minister. It was great. Guests were able to watch everyone’s expressions, smiles, tears, etc. We felt like we were all part of the wedding, instead of being an audience.