Any really terrible ones you have been to.
The weddings were all OK. At one of the receptions, one of the bridesmaids drank herself literally into a coma - respirators and everything.
Open bars are not always a good idea.
Regards,
Shodan
One of my cousins was married by a “person of faith” because he married a non-Jew, who didn’t belong to any organized religion, but was “spiritual.” They picked this person on the recommendation of a friend, and apparently the required pre-marriage counseling he did was really good, but he gave a speech, or more of a lecture on “What is love?” in the middle of the service where he prattled on for almost 25 minutes of Hallmark card platitudes, and you could see people sighing and starting to carry on whispered conversations. At least five people fell asleep. One snored.
Also, the cake had some boiled icing that was terrible. I’ve had better cake from vending machines.
Very successful marriage, though. Beautiful, bright kids, too.
I attended a wedding as the date of the maid of honor (she was in the wedding, I wasn’t).
The best man received a phone call at the last minute. His newborn son was in the ICU since birth, and he was going to die. Best man had to leave. My date grabbed me and I had to fill in.
I did not even know the couple. The mothers of the bride and groom were total bitches, constantly screaming at me about things they assumed I would know to do. It was a miserable reception. (YOU NEED TO DO A TOAST!!!) I should have just screamed, “FUCK YOU” at the mothers, but I managed to get through it. Never one thank you.
I broke up with the maid of honor a short time later. Maybe a month after that she called to let me know that the groom had come home from work early and caught his wife in bed with some dude she used to know.
You have 71 posts. Every single one is you asking some mundane question and never returning to the thread.
Thank you, was just coming in for this.
It was horrible. Horribly funny actually. The venue was Stubbs BBQ in Austin. Big outdoor venue. The guests were seated so that we faced the back of the restaurant which was two story with open patios at both levels. It was October and someone had turned on the large tv on the upstairs patio to a baseball game. No sound. Just picture. No one seemed to remember that this TV was on. The bride and groom were going to be married on the landing halfway up to the deck with the TV. So the groom is standing on the landing looking down. The bride and her father are walking across the lower patio to the stairs to get to the groom. None of them can see the TV. But Murphy is watching it. And not paying attention to the fact that everyone is silent. The runner on TV is making a break for home. Murphy notices the bride, but it doesn’t connect that she’s walking quietly arm in arm with her father. He yells at the TV “Slide!” Then to the bride “Slide, Becky, slide!” mumble mumble “What? The wedding hasn’t started.”
Yes, Murphy, it had started. He was mortified. As the couple did their first dance later, she paused at our table. “C’mon, Murphy. Slide”. She was very good natured about it, but her dad wasn’t so understanding.
My first wedding … closely followed by my second wedding …
I went to a wedding of my wife’s cousin at Bob Jones University. The part where the minister gives his message (sermon? homily? whatever.) was about how the woman obeys the man. It went into great detail about how the woman obeys the man. How she obeyed her father and now that she’s married she obeys her husband. I’m sitting there with my MIL on one side of me and my SIL on the other side of me. Both of these women are attorneys and generally smarter and more successful than me. I just kept shrinking down into the pew.
The bride and groom showed up an hour into the reception. I was near the door and heard the mother of the bride say something about “You’re a woman now.” Hmmm, I thought, was there a ritual deflowering of the virgin that happened in the last hour?
It was weird all around.
Mine is one I worked at when I was a hotel banquet server in college.
Everything was pretty routine, until a girl who was probably 13 or 14, who had apparently been going around the room drinking out of glasses people had left on the tables, went to the bathroom, and everything came out both ends at the same time. :eek: I was working that evening with my roommate, and we both agreed that we would quit before we would clean that up. The dishwashers, both high school boys, said, “Oh, we had to do this all the time when we worked at McDonald’s” and cleaned it up without batting an eye.
My BFF said that someone should have tossed that girl into the back of a pickup truck and run her through a carwash. 
As for one I attended, it was a friend who was marrying a guy who was very obviously gay, and at the reception, the food was bad and there wasn’t enough of it. It was starting to congeal by the time we lined up, and they ran out.:smack: Not surprisingly, the marriage ended 7 years (and sadly, one child) later. She’s getting married for the 3rd time next month; I do plan to attend the wedding but yeah, I’m hesitant. I’ve heard all that before.
Maybe he’s a Buzzfeed rider. “You Won’t Believe These 14 Horrible Wedding Stories!”
Am I losing my mind, or did we very recently have another thread on this exact same topic? Search cannot locate it-cornfielded?
We can hope.
We can also hope this one will also.
Yeah, you probably should have given your first marriage a chance to work before getting married again so quickly.
I have been a guest at a wedding where the groom, the groom’s brother, and the bride’s brother were killed by snipers immediately after they walked out of the church. My first wedding reception (though not my first marriage) ended abruptly when I told my potential future mother-in-law that if her son touched me I would shoot him.
Most of us are familiar with the movie, ‘Kill Bill’.
A co-worker who was a diehard evangelistic Christian also fancied herself a manager of “Christian entertainers.” Her wedding was, literally, a circus. Following an uncomfortable (for me) ceremony that featured “the woman will obey her husband in all things” crap, we were treated to TWO hours of Christian performers, including:
-Jugglers
-Gospel singers
-Acrobats
-Brass band
-Childrens’ choir
-Modern dance
Sadly, the guy she was marrying was her third choice. She had been engaged to two men before, both of whom broke up with her shortly before the wedding; “John” was a nice enough guy, but she married him because her parents and church preached that she wouldn’t be a Real Woman until she was married and popped out a quiverful of kids. She confided in me that she wasn’t at all attracted to John, but she was almost 28-years-old and felt her time was running out.
Perhaps even more sadly, I’m virtually certain that she was a deeply-closeted lesbian as well. Sigh, I hope things turned out quasi-okay for her (we lost touch about a decade ago).
Don’t go to too many weddings, but I remember our entire team going to a co-worker’s wedding and listening to the priest lecture them about living together before marriage right before conducting the actual vows. :eek: Bride and groom were mortified.
By the time you get to the reception, isn’t your potential future mother-in-law now your actual current mother-in-law?
I was at a wedding a few years back where someone had the unmitigated gall to offer congratulations to the bride. Of course, the poor couple had no choice but to divorce immediately.