A friend of mine’s having a wedding soon. In lieu of gifts, she ask that we give money. She’s an old friend of mine from waaaay back so I have no problems doing it. Frankly, being a guy, I would rather this whole gift thing simply be changed from items to money instead. Its much easier and rational to me.
But anyway, that’s not the point of this topic. I want to get her a gag gift because she sometimes does that to our group of friends for birthdays, Christmas, etc. Usually its something embarassing we’d have to open in front of all our friends, like sex toys, underwear, or something of that nature. But I thought of the ultimate gag wedding gift:
Divorce papers
Bad taste? She’s usually got a good sense of humor but I don’t want to be killed
Fake money , or money toilet paper are a gag gift for a friend at a wedding where they asked for money. Divorce papers are in very poor taste, not funny and likely to be a permanent mark against you.
And this is coming from someone who has a friend who’s notorious for inappropriate gifts… I mean, at the last wedding we attended (for a mutual friend), he gave the groom a “Congratulations on your Confirmation from your Beloved Grandma” card full of religious references, and scratched out “confirmation” and “grandma”. The groom, BTW, is Jewish.
I’m with Harmonious Discord… give them money toilet paper or Monopoly money. Or if you want to be really inappropriate without being offensive, see if you can find a copy of The Total Woman or any other how-to-be-a-submissive-wife handbook. Much funnier.
Wedding gifts are usually a big deal. Even if they’re low-cost token gifts from friends, they’re usually expected to be something fairly somber or meaningful. Gag gifts are for showers and engagement parties. Even then, I’m having a hard time picturing divorce papers as ever being funny. Maaaaaaaybe blatantly fake home-made jokey ones from the maid of honor presented at the start of a wild bachelorette night with a comment along the lines of “here, keep these handy in case you find out what he’s getting up to right now” when it’s well known the groom is going go-karting with a teetotaller and a priest while the girls are hitting up a strip club. Maaaaaaaaaybe.
Asking for cash specifically is in rotten taste, but if I had friends who were apt to give me divorce papers as a wedding present, I might feel the need to lay out strict guidelines too. If you don’t want to give cash, just give them your best wishes. Really.
(The only gag wedding gift I’ve ever heard of that struck me as cool was someone giving a cannonball gate closer to a couple who were moving into a colonial home. Very appropriate, but also funny as a literal ball-and-chain.)
One of my groomsmen (a cousin of mine), who knew that I was a virgin when I got married, got me a sex manual for guys. Our maid of honour (who was, shall we say, definitely not a virgin) found that hilarious.
When my best friend from college got married I gave him a nice meat-cleaver with the comment, “However the marriage turns out, I figured this would come in handy … .” He seemed to think it was funny.
Somewhere floating around the internet is an article from the 50’s on how to be a good wife - it’s all about cooking dinner and having a relaxing environment awaiting your husband when he returns from a hard day at the office. A framed copy of that would be amusing but I’d give cash along with it.
No one here can pretend to understand the gag-gift relationship you have with this person (things like whether her husband-to-be has the right sense of humor, have there been similar level gag gifts in the past, etc) - so take all suggestions with a grain of salt, except this one -
If you have to ask - it is probably borderline, and you might consider something else.
I think the first couple comments were a little reactionary, IMO.
OK, if you want to go with a legal document, create a phony pre-nup.
If we stay married for a day, we each get half the wedding cake.
A week, we get half the gifts.
A month, we each get a copy of that “special” honeymoon video.
Six months, we split the cases of wine and beer.
A year, you get the kid, I get the flat screen TV.
Etc. etc.
Birthday and Christmas gifts are very different in nature to wedding gifts. Unless your group of friends already has a history of giving gag gifts for weddings, I’d suggest you seriously reconsider.
When we got married my wife was a paralegal for two lawyers. As a wedding gift they gave her … you guessed it … divorce papers. All my bride would have needed to do was fill in the date, sign them and file them.
Ok after some consideration I’ve decided not to do the divorce papers. Probably was a bad idea anyway. I think I’ll get her some weird sex toy instead, goes with the territory. Maybe anal lube
There used to be a bakery in Manhattan - The Erotic Bakery. They made very cute gingerbread people - mail and female - with icing to make them anatomically correct.
We gave pairs of them to a number of people as wedding gifts. They were apparently well-liked
The bakery is, alas, now defunct as far as we can tell. But perhaps a local bake shop, or a creative friend, might do the job.
To another friend, we gave a child-oriented “where did I come from” book in case they needed any instructions. I believe we also gave them a microscope and needlenose pliers in case they had trouble finding the relevant parts
