My younger brother and his girlfriend ran off to Reno a few weeks ago and were married. They have lived together for about 3 years and have a 20 month old daughter together. They are both in their mid/late 40’s and besides being new parents, they are also grandparents. Both make a good living and have no real needs.
Saturday I received an invitation to a celebration of this event, this will happen next month. My thinking was card alone would be sufficient but my girl friend thinks I should include something such as a gift card to a nice restaurant. I told her I would ask the opinion of those at this site to determine what I give. So I leave it up to you.
Technically, I don’t think that you’re obligated to buy wedding presents for older people who have lived together for years. In the real world, though, you’ll probably look like a cold-hearted cheapskate if you don’t, so I’d go ahead and give a token gift, such as your restaurant gift card.
Many times the wedding gift is to help the newlyweds set up house - this is obviously not the case here. And no, you aren’t obligated to give one but it would be nice. You just need to give a nice little congratulation gift. The card is a nice idea - not one I’d normally give for a wedding but given the situation more appropriate than I’d have thought. I would throw in an offer to babysit with the gift card if that’s possible for you. I’d imagine with a 20 month old they’d like to have a night to behave as newlyweds. Also, when in doubt I send a picture frame to weddings.
You should give them a gift in proportion to the extravagance of the celebratory event. If it’s a keg party in the back yard, it’s $20. If it’s a formal dinner, it’s $50. If it’s basically a wedding reception, it’s $100. He’s having a lot of people over, I presume, so you want to defray the cost of the party.
I don’t think it has to be expensive but I would bring something just because it’s a hosted party. Something you might bring if it were a anniversary party or 40th birthday, like a bottle of wine, an inscribed book, etc. A gift card would be great too.
Huh? The giving of a gift shouldn’t be related to the expense of the party. The gift isn’t about offsetting the cost of the event. It’s all about what YOU want to give your brother and his new wife, to celebrate their marriage.
Since this isn’t a young couple that needs to set up a household, that leaves you wide open as to what is an appropriate gift. What it should say is “I’m really happy for this step in your life.”
Are you and your girlfriend heading toward marriage? Will you have a wedding? What kind of gift might your brother give you?
Cost of gift proportional to the party? I vote no on that. Since it’s your brother and not some guy you sort of know 'cause you work at the same place the gift should reflect your relationship with him, or them as a couple.
leahcim, there have been several times in my life where I’ve actually used a gravy boat. What exists (in this century) only to be given as a wedding gift are soup tureens. (racer72, do NOT get your brother a soup tureen!)
When some adult/been living together for a while friends of our got married last year, we got them a gift card to BevMo. I think anybody who is a grandmother, *and *has a toddler, probabaly needs a cocktail more than anyone else on the planet.
We have discussed marriage but it won’t happen any time soon. We don’t need anything giftwise but a restaurant gift card would be nice. I bought my brother one today. BTW, when we do marry, if someone wanted to give us a marigold Fiesta soup tureen, we would be very happy.
