Wedding Insurance

Wedding Insurance is being advertized.

What do you insure against, getting screwed, in the event of a divorce, or just getting screwed?

Hurricanes? Tornados? Falling cows?

My guess would be flowers wilting, cake collapsing, food getting burned/spoiled/ruined, food poisoning from the dinner, etc. Maybe natural disasters interrupting/preventing the wedding?

While the insurance carrier may list “Mothers In Law” under “Acts of God”, anyone who’s married will tell you that quite the opposite is true…

More than you ever wanted to know:

What does it cover?


I’m sure the thing you’re most worried about after you catch fire is the replacement of your gown…

I’m curious-does the insurance contain a particular type of coverage, otherwise known as a fidelity bond?

I can hear the underwriters scuttling for the baseboards like roaches.

Those are actually very reasonably-priced policies. I wonder what the catch is.

The “catch” is really just that the covered events are very rare, I think, so the insurance companies make money. Everyone has heard a wedding horror story, and many brides (and bridegrooms[sup]*[/sup], but especially brides) worry endlessly about it happening to them, even though such events are really pretty rare. Also, the monetary costs to the insurer when it does pay out are not as high as you might think. They’re not going to pay for all the guests’ new airplane tickets, and it’s likely that the hall isn’t going to charge anything more than they already have if the wedding has to be rescheduled through their fault.

[sub]* I started to type “groom,” and had a flashback to my great-grandmother fuming, “It’s bridegroom! A groom doesn’t get married, he cleans out the stables!”[/sub]

From the keyboard of Enugent

A groom cleans out the stables, and therefore a bridegroom cleans out…

Oh my.