Long story short: 4 months before the wedding, I get my heart set on two processional songs. Talk to my very talented sister and aunt, asking them to play the songs on the piano for the wedding. They both decline - they don’t feel “comfortable.” (Understandable)
Talk with my VERY talented friend, who says he’ll play them… and then he never picks the music up.
1.5 months before the wedding, I talk with the church’s music lady. I agree to pay her to learn the songs. I drop off the sheet music. Three weeks before the wedding, she still hasn’t taken a look at them, and says she MIGHT not be able to learn them.
Now, we’re only talking about 1.5 minutes’ worth of piano music here. So NOW everybody is telling me to let the woman play whatever she CAN play. But I do not want to just forget about this music! I LOVE the pieces, and I refuse to have “Trumpet Voluntary” or Pachelbel’s freeking Canon.
SOOOO (I am finally getting to my question):
How horrible would it be to play taped music, just for the processional? Most people will be watching the procession, not checking to see where the musicians are.
Let me know what you think.
–Meg
P.S. While you’re at it, please help me figger out why everybody’s wussing out on this music. Thanks -
Ugh. I got married in August and had my own string of dilemmas (broke my nose 3 months before, fiancee broke his ankle 1 month before, bridesmaid dropped out 3 weeks before…but I digress.)
IMHO, I think your processional depends on the place you are getting married. I got married in a huge Catholic church, where the only appropriate music was the church’s organ or a sring quartet or something of that sort. (I used the organist and it was really cool.) If you’re not getting married in a church, then I think anything goes.
If you are getting married in a church, you should discuss it with the officiant and see if they will allow taped music. (They wouldn’t at mine.) If they will, then you should do whatever makes you happy and don’t worry about what anyone will think. If it was me, however, I would just let the organ lady play whatever she can play. I was out in the foyer during my processional and I couldn’t even hear the music anyway. In fact, I couldn’t even tell you now what I picked for my processional.
Anyway, hope that helps you some! I’d be glad to share any of my other sage wedding tips, should you need them.
Oh, and Congratulations!
P.S. As far as everyone wussing out on stuff–People realize that this is an incredibly important event in your life and they don’t want to be the one to screw it up and risk your wrath. Take it as a compliment that they want everything to be perfect for you.
Hi Sunshine - I like your sig quote. Where’s it from?
I consider myself sort of a wedding sage too… I think it’s hilarious how people get so caught up in “etiquette” and “tradition” that they forget the whole purpose of the day… and they forget to have fun!
To address your point:
I was out in the foyer during my processional and I couldn’t even hear the music anyway. In fact, I couldn’t even tell you now what I picked for my
processional.
I’m very picky about music - it’s VERY important to me. And Pachelbel’s Canon and Trumpet Voluntary make me gag. And the music I’ve chosen has special significance to me… just giving you more fodder for conversation.
Oh, and we are getting married in a modernish Catholic church - and they do use taped music on occasion for services.
Hi beef…or should I call you meg? No, I like beef better.
I don’t know where my sig line comes from–all I know is that I didn’t say it. I have this little notebook of nifty things I like and it’s in there, on page one, with no author.
Anyhoo, now that I’ve said I don’t even know what my processional was, you’re probably killing yourself, being the music fan you are! Would it help if I said I do know that my recessional was Ode to Joy?
The whole time I was planning my wedding, the thing that kept me sane was remembering what was important to me. (And my fiancee, but the only thing he requested was tuxes like in Dumb and Dumber. Obviously, that got nixed immediately and he didn’t get to vote again.)
This philosophy REALLY helped. Did I have to wear the bridesmaid’s dress & shoes? No. So I let them pick it out, with the only stipulation being that the dresses were navy blue. I picked my battles and because of that, I was totally stress-free on my wedding day and it went perfectly because there were a LOT of details I just didn’t care too much about. (Which is shocking because I am by nature a very anal person.) I actually got a letter from a wedding guest telling me it was the best wedding she & her husband had ever been to, and they couldn’t believe how relaxed I was and how much fun I seemed to be having!
That said, I think you should absolutely have the exact music you want and have no qualms about making sure it happens. It is your day, after all. Plus, the whole etiquette and tradition business is ridiculous and there are hardly any people left who remember all the stupid rules anyway, and nobody is bringing their rules book to your wedding.
So, what music have you picked out?
By the way, Lonesome Dove is possibly the best miniseries ever. Including The Thorn Birds.
OK, and why was that simple request nixed?!?! For my wedding this August, I only had one simple request, which happened to be the same as your fiancé (though actually I said I wanted purple, but orange was the second choice) and it was immediately denied. Why does the groom have no say? :mad:
To answer the OP: Have you tried calling the music department of your local college/university to see if some inexpensive, hungry college musician can be had?
The other solution: postpone the wedding until the church lady has time to learn the song.
Arnold, the groom did have a say. He said something stupid. Then he didn’t get to say anything else.
Actually, my husband, in all seriousness, really thought those tuxes would be cool. Really. (And if you even pretend not to understand why they aren’t, Arnold, I will run screaming from the room. You did seeDumb and Dumber, right?)
Needless to say, his taste in clothes is NOT why I married my dear hubby. Anyway, he mostly didn’t care about the wedding details. He knew it was important to me, so he visited vendors and such with me–but when it came down to the actual decisions, he let me choose whatever I wanted as long as he got to wear comfortable shoes.
I had a 100% pain-free wedding in January. We used taped music. My advice–if you use canned music, make sure you practice with the person who’s responsible for turning it off and on. My taped music got messed up, but it broke the ice and kept me from being nervous, so I still consider the wedding to be totally pain-free.
Who’s to say that the person you get to play your music is going to play it exactly the way you like it anyway? If it’s taped there’s no disappointment.
I had a 100% pain-free wedding in January. We used taped music. My advice–if you use canned music, make sure you practice with the person who’s responsible for turning it off and on. My taped music got messed up, but it broke the ice and kept me from being nervous, so I still consider the wedding to be totally pain-free.
Who’s to say that the person you get to play your music is going to play it exactly the way you like it anyway? If it’s taped there’s no disappointment.
So what’s the music? That may give us a clue. A snappy little theme by John Cage? Zappa’s “Toads of the Short Forest” ? Ninety seconds worth of piano transcription of Mahler’s Ninth?
Are you getting married anywhere near NYC? Hell, I’ll come play the damn piano. If you get me enough whiskey and cocaine, I’ll accompany myself on the tenor saxophone and play the bongos with my bare feet.
Yes, as a matter of fact, one evening when it was on television, I sat down with my fiancée to show her the tuxedos I wanted. She immediately started pouting and asked me about a dozen times “Is that really what you want?” I don’t know why she asked, since her mother and her both decided that I was not wearing an orange tuxedo (though I will say in defense of the gentle sex that my father also told me I was crazy.)
What’s wrong with orange? I think the black tuxedo has been done to death. When in the 60’s designers first came out with tie-dyed clothes, I’m sure the bourgeois crowd gasped in horror.
I had a 100% pain-free wedding in January. We used taped music. My advice–if you use canned music, make sure you practice with the person who’s responsible for turning it off and on. My taped music got messed up, but it broke the ice and kept me from being nervous, so I still consider the wedding to be totally pain-free.
Who’s to say that the person you get to play your music is going to play it exactly the way you like it anyway? If it’s taped there’s no disappointment.
Okay, I’m back now. Arnold, it’s not so much the orange (although that is a problem in itself) but the ruffles, cane, top hat business that we of the gentle sex can’t cope with.
What’s the big fascination with and orange, ruffled tux, top hat and cane? If I could see just the teeniest bit of appeal there, I wouldn’t think you and my husband are nuts.
Now, a white dinner jacket would be cool. That I could handle.
Sunshine - I let my girls pick their own dresses too: as long as they were pastel, sleeveless, and knee-lengthish. And I refused the white cake, and we’re making the flowers the morning before. I’m breaking as many rules as I can get my hands on.
My amazin’ groom will be wearing a lovely blue suit, with shirt and tie a’la Regis. That’s my final ansa!
Uke-Ike: Chicago, sorry. I would totally fly you in but airfares are outrageous these days.
The 1st processional piece is by Beethoven: it’s the one that Billy Joel borrowed for the chorus of “This Night.” I think it’s an Adagio… “Pathetique” I think.
The second is the “March of the 3 Kings” from the Menotti opera “Amahl and the Night Visitors.”
Well, I’m not going to worry about it. Maybe I can just hum it with my p’s as we walk…
Ah the joys of getting married! Makes me ever so glad that my husband and my mom ( and mother in law) get all into it, all I had to do was show up at the (catholic) church looked damn fine.
Seriously, you are probably 100 times more attentive to detail and things like that. I certainly wasn’t at the time and if I got married again now, I would certainly elope. I think weddings, in general, are a colassal wastes of time and money. But I have yet to attend a reception that I didn’t like. Take the money you would have spent on the song and put it towards some good booze at the bar.
What I remember about my wedding day besides:
I looked spectacular ( not that anyone would say I looked awful.)
My groom wore cowboy boots ( a last minute decision by him)
It was about 75 degrees for the 1st day in May in Michigan and absolutely perfect. The weather was the biggest perk.
4)and that when the song before the funereal march down the aisle song came on, when I heard a good friend of ours ( that we’d never heard sing before and asked her to sing at our wedding) starting singing, " After All" ( Peter cetera) I was in the bridal room going…HMMM< that song seems familiar, it’s one of my favorites, what a coincidence. I was too preoccupied with wanting to get the whole deal overwith. ( I am not always the sharpest knife in the drawer.)
In a few years you will wonder what the big deal was about.In ten years, it will be a haze. In twenty years you won’t remember it. If all else fails, I will gladly volunteer to come to your wedding with a bunch of other dopers and we can preview your song before hand and then play it on kazoo’s. Naturally, after we’ve gotten smashed by the statue of Our Lady Of Perpetual Guilt.
Ah the joys of getting married! Makes me ever so glad that my husband and my mom ( and mother in law) get all into it, all I had to do was show up at the (catholic) church looked damn fine.
Seriously, you are probably 100 times more attentive to detail and things like that. I certainly wasn’t at the time and if I got married again now, I would certainly elope. I think weddings, in general, are a colassal wastes of time and money. But I have yet to attend a reception that I didn’t like. Take the money you would have spent on the song and put it towards some good booze at the bar.
What I remember about my wedding day besides:
I looked spectacular ( not that anyone would say I looked awful.)
My groom wore cowboy boots ( a last minute decision by him)
It was about 75 degrees for the 1st day in May in Michigan and absolutely perfect. The weather was the biggest perk.
4)and that when the song before the funereal march down the aisle song came on, when I heard a good friend of ours ( that we’d never heard sing before and asked her to sing at our wedding) starting singing, " After All" ( Peter cetera) I was in the bridal room going…HMMM< that song seems familiar, it’s one of my favorites, what a coincidence. I was too preoccupied with wanting to get the whole deal overwith. ( I am not always the sharpest knife in the drawer.)
In a few years you will wonder what the big deal was about.In ten years, it will be a haze. In twenty years you won’t remember it.
I’m sure I speak for everyone hear: If all else fails, I will gladly volunteer to come to your wedding with a bunch of other dopers ( C’mon Ike!) and we can preview your song before hand and then play it on kazoo’s. Naturally, after we’ve gotten drunk sitting in the shadow of the statue of Our Lady Of Perpetual Guilt.
As a veteran of many weddings, and one of my own, (I did the sound at the church), I think you can go ahead and use the tape.
However, you should also make it as foolproof for the sound person as possible. Copy each piece to separate tapes. Label them clearly.Write down exactly when the music should play and give a copy to the person running the sound.
Explain what he should do when you have reached the end of the aisle. (If he has to transition between the two pieces of music between the attendants and you, explain how he should perform the transition.)
The best thing about having a live player is that the good ones are expert at stretching/ending the music at the proper time. The only thing you can do with a tape is fade it out which can be awkward sometimes. And if it finishes too soon, it can be really awkward.
You may be able to choerograph everything so that you can use the music without a fadeout, but unless you work things out carefully, you will not get enough time to practice with the attendants to guarantee that it will work.
We used taped music at my wedding and it worked out OK. We even sang a song to each other where I had recorded our own voices onto the tape so that we lip-synced to ourselves. (Just in case we were too nervous to sing well.)
Everything worked out fine except my wife did not like the version of “Music for Royal Fireworks” I had picked for the recessional. The drums were too loud.
But my best advice: Plan really hard and worry excessively before the day. But on the day of the wedding relax, go with the flow and enjoy yourself. And remember, if there are any really big screw-ups, it will just make your wedding more memorable to everyone else there!
Where in Chicago? What date? Oh, wait, this is the net, there are mad bombers…
INNYWAY…
I think taped music is okay, etiquette-wise, but it may not be aesthetically preferable. Than again, it can be much better than a bad keyboardist.
What I find painful is stuff like this:
The groom’s sister trying to sing some oddball pop song convincingly.
The groom trying to sing–in tears, of course. (I mean, he did okay, he had stage training–but it’s just too nerve-wracking an experience.)
Really, if you want it to sound good, don’t let anyone too emotionally involved open their mouths more than necessary during the ceremony.
Hey, if I could play piano worth anything, I’d do it.
to find other people who can’t stand traditional wedding music. I hate Pachelbel’s Greatest Hit!
Neither I nor the organist could remember the name of the Bach piece we recessed to; I just hummed it to her and she said, “Oh yeah! I know that one.” and played it in its full glory.
A way to get around the canned music issue is to process/recess to hymns. I processed to a beautiful hymn, mostly because I didn’t want everyone looking at me. And because I wanted a chance to sing at my own wedding.
