Under “Lisa {heart} Mike” etched into a wooden desk in high school:
“I know why Mikey likes you - he eats anything”
(maybe only funny if you know that those “Mikey likes it” Life cereal commercials were on at the time)
Also, after “Free Chairman Gonzalo” scrawled under a Detroit overpass:
“…with every purchase”
Well, this is a little off-topic, but I saw a sign in a bathroom in a restaraunt in Beijing that said, “Please Mang Out After Shit.” The staff were kind of confused by the rush of Americans going back to take pictures in the bathroom. To this day, I have no idea what “Mang” means or why they thought we’d shit in a urinal.
Not really graffiti per se but I was in a crowded restroom once, a guy waiting in line for a urinal asks (to the room) “Anyone got a light?”. A VERY drunk urinal user looked wobbly over his shoulder and says, “yeah…Superman”. No one else seemed to get it which only made it funnier than it already was to me.
Ditto on the “Billy loves Lucious”. My new koan.
This was scrawled in a corner next to the ceiling in a bar restroom “If this message is clear to you, then you are pissing on your shoe.”
Thanks to my sister for this piece of poetry (from some years ago):
‘Kiss without Peter Criss is Piss’
HenrySpencer.
it will do no good to stand on the seat
the crabs in here can jump 10 feet
Those who write on bathroom walls
should roll their shit into little balls
and those who read these lines on wit,
should eat those little balls of excrement.
-attributed to Kurt Vonnegut
SPIDER< the rest of that is… “later on I took a chance,
Tried to Fart, but shit my pants”
my personal fave is, written at the bottom of the inside of the stall door, “you are now shitting at a 45degree angle”
and another is at a local bar in MN, and it says “We recycle our beer”, it’s scrawled right over the urinals
Written on the toilet seat protecter dispenser:
Reagan party hats
or
Ass Gaskets
One of my favorites:
Oedipus, come home.
All is forgiven.
Mother
Written at such an angle that, while on the throne, you would have to bend way down and lean out a little to read it:
You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle.
Famous British graffiti over urinal:
We aim to please, you aim too please.
Do not throw toothpicks into the urinal.
The crabs have learned to pole vault.
“These walls they paint, to stop my pen
But the Shithouse Poet strikes again…”
Someone had wrote on the outside of a bathroom stall in my high school “Jim Morrison Lives” underneath was written “in my asshole” don’t know why we found this funny but it was there for years so the janitor must have liked it too. Whenever someone says “so and so lives” I always reply, in my asshole. I get some strange looks.
In the school coffee place bathroom (which is unfortunately no more):
“Return your overdue library books immediately”…
…HUH? I guess the librarian wanted to get the message out or something…
On the condom vending machine: “this gum tastes like rubber”
The best gaffiti I ran accross I found in a jail holding cell. Before you jump to conlusions, I was in for a DUI years ago. I’m not your jail type, from the likes I saw in there. To avoid conversing with the bizzarro group, I started reading the walls. I ran accross this beauty, spelling taken verbatum from what I saw:
JALE SUCKS
Bathroom stall:
In days of old
when knights were bold
and toilets weren’t invented
You left your load
beside the road
and walked away contented
written in the dust on the back of a minivan:
“I’m dirty”
and then ammended:
“I like little boys”
every time i see a dirty ford aerostar, I chuckle.
Finally I have a chance to share this one.
In Grogans in Dublin theres a condom machine which bears the legend
“In case of pregnancy please insert baby for refund”
I saw this one in a couple of bathrooms…
U se
S econd
A mendment
Seen on the wall of a barroom john in Iowa City:
Q. Why don’t people from Des Moines like T.S. Eliot?
A. The read The Wasteland and thought it was a plan for urban renewal.
Seen on the wall of a stall at Brandeis University:
Q. Why would Helen Keller not have made a good actress?
A. She would neither talk nor listen.
Hey, we should get more female Dopers in on this thread. I’ve always been curious as to what kind of fun things were found in the places where No Man Has Gone Before. (Except the one that got caug----------------) Man, that one was funny!!!
Over the urinal at the Checkmate, a pick-up joint here:
Please don’t throw toothpicks in the urinals.
Crabs can polevault.
And a common one:
Here I sit, buns a flexin,
Giving birth to another Texan.
Wonko The Sane, “…“Beware Gay Limbo Dancer” I’m not sure if it is a warning to the dancers in question or to warn people of their presence.”
Alas I understand that one. It is a stab at gay bathroom cruisers. The only time that I have seen it done (I wasn’t doing it…YUCK) two guys go into adjacent stalls and one sticks his peepee underneath the other for oral/manual excitement. woo…(notice the lack of exclamation point) I never understood why.
There is also “Tap foot for BJ.” The first time I saw that one I was wondering who BJ was and why he would be summoned by a tapping foot.
Surrender Dorothy as Wendell always points out near “the Emerald City” in Maryland is always interesting. It is even more interesting to see it scrawled on the ceiling in the bathroom in foot high letters at the Eagle in DC. The Eagle is a seedy leather bar so you know.
HUGS!
Sqrl