Weird Bathroom (or other) Graffiti!

What funny/weird graffiti have you seen? At work, I have some at the bottom of the bathroom stall door that says “Beware Gay Limbo Dancer” I’m not sure if it is a warning to the dancers in question or to warn people of their presence.

My father went to the throne room in a police station in Vermont (home state of the very cool Swiddles) and reported a message inside the door of the temple of the great white porcelain goddess a note stating “All turds over twelve inches in length must be lowered by rope. -By order of the St. Albans Police Dept.”

Anyone else have any funny graffiti stories for me?

PLEASE DO NOT THROW CIGARETTE BUTTS INTO THE URINALS.

It makes them soggy and hard to light.

Above a urinal:

Express lane: Ten beers or less.

Scawled (in pen) on the side of an Osco pharmacy:

Fuck the brueaucacy [sic]

Fuck literacy, too, I assume.

On a desk in my Latin class
“Billy loves Lucious”

I spent an 2 semesters trying to figure this out. Was it a guy/girl thing? Which one was the girl? Did the guy misspell luscious? Was it a guy/guy thing? Eventually it became like Zen to me. Whenever something happens that is hard to understand, something we may never know the answer to, I stare into the distance and say with quiet dignity. ‘Billy loves Lucious’

The most memorable line of men’s room grafitti I ever saw was a line in a bathroom stall:

“wait for me right here! – Godot”

Another line that sticks out in my mind:
“I f***** your mother”
which is not exceptionally clever in itself, but someone else wrote just underneath it:
“Go home Dad, your drunk!”

And then there’s the least original line of grafitti, by virtue of the fact that I’ve seen it scrawled on numerous bar’s mens room stalls (in three different cities no less):
“to do is to be - Descartes
to be is to do - Nietzsche
do be do be do be - Sinatra”

For years and years there was an underpass (overpass? viaduct?) in Tulsa, OK that had “Jim loves Suzy forever” (I don’t actually remember the names). It was in a really hard to reach area, and must have taken great effort to paint.

Several years later, I was driving through the underpass and noticed that the message been X’d out with spray paint, and the message “I guess not” was painted after it.

That always cracked me up. If any of you are still living in Tulsa, I think it was at 21st and hwy 169.

In the restroom of a police office in Oroville, CA:

“‘John Doe’ is a snith!”

What the hell is a SNITH?

I would guess, being in a police office, it was supposed to be “snitch”

But the most common poem I’ve seen:
“Here I sit
Broken Hearted
Tried to shit,
But only farted”

That was beautiful.
My favorite came from the public library bathroom. Inside the stall of the women’s bathroom I found the following scratched in the paint:

Haha I diD it!! Im in the womans toilet and I never goT caug (insert large scratch line across the door)

My favorite was “Press for a message from your Congressman,” with an arrow pointing to the button on those hot air dryers.

Above the urinal in a bar I frequent is the classic “Why are you looking up here, the joke is in your hands”

In the ladies’ room of the Brickskellar in Washington, D.C.:

“We are all Easter Islanders.”

very common, but I always snicker–

confucious(sp?) say
he who stand on toilet is high on pot

In a stall in a men’s room (I can’t remember where):

HI MOM

Around a bunch of so and so loves what’s his name:
Give your guy a little class
don’t write his name where you wipe your ass.

In a pizza place in Newburyport, MA:

I sat right here and drank a case
And then I ralphed all over the place
Men’s bathroom, College of Arts and Sciences, Boston University, amidst graffiti supposedly from gay men cruising for sex:

19/m looking for some pussy! Any of you queers got sisters?

In the Fullerton College Science Building’s women’s room:

Untie for anarchy!

Written high on any wall “Herve Villachez was here.”

“Flush twice, it’s a long way to the cafeteria”

In my dorm above the toilet.