Okay, so cafe society includes ‘cuisine.’ Found this online and found it absolutely hilarious. Hope you enjoy it too.
www.asylum.com/2008/04/02/20-of-the-craziest-breakfast-cereals-ever-made/
I saw your thread title, and immediately thought of “Freakies”. 
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Hey, don’t diss on my Quisp!!
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I actually had one of those “Quiz Kid” owl calculators. Lame; it’s didn’t give you the answer, only a green or red light depending on whether you gave IT the right or wrong answer, respectively. Completely useless. And you can’t even spell BOOBIES on it.
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Kind of disappointed that Urkel-O’s wasn’t on the list.
I loved Freakies when I was a kid! I’m pretty sure I have a Boss Moss fridge magnet around here somewhere.
Quisp was my favourite for a long time.
What? No Croonchy Stars?
This had me howling with laughter. I’ve never heard of most of these cereals, but I’m glad they included Kaboom. They got it’s number, too, except for omitting the fact that it was so heavily vitamin-fortified that it actually tasted like vitamin pills.
Wow. I’m old. I remember, and have eaten, most of those cereals. Thanks Slanted Zipper, now I can’t get that stupid King Vitaman jingle out of my head …“King Vitamaaaan. Have breakfast with the king. King Vitamaaaan. Have breakfast with the…”
Kill me
I had no idea the world of cereal was so unusual: moon generals, freaky kings, foppish World War I-era pilots, Mr. Potato Head ripoffs, four characters who look like they came out of some sort of business advertisement or something and a robot, the Jolly Green Giant’s mentally-challenged Scottish cousin, and a freakin’ flying hat. And the gay hippo. Oh, god, the gay hippo. Cap’n Crunch seems so enamored with him…
Oh, generic cereals should get a list of their own- a lot of them have unusual names.
Careful! You don’t want to make it look like the Cap’n’s violating “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”!
No mention of Crispy Critters?
Ozric Tentacles?
My brother ate Quisp; I ate Quake. Quake could totally kick Quisp’s little alien ass.
“Punch Crunch”. I have no memory of this Cap’n Crunch variation; guess it didn’t last long. But that one also has perhaps the oddest toy ever included in a box of cereal: a “Super Soap Shaper”, which looks to be some kind of tool that allows one to carve one’s name into a bar of soap.
So did I! I have no recollection of that cereal, but I definitely remember that infuriating little thing - it was in fact useless.
“You and the Cap’n make it happen,” indeed…
Sir Grapefellow had a nemesis- Baron von Redberry, who also had his own cereal.
It seems like everyone of those cereals is basically the same thing: “oat” and “corn” with LOTS of sugar on it, occasionally some marshmallow thrown in. (Oh, and a “prize” inside.) They weren’t selling food; they were selling candy, packaged in cartoons, which is strange, to me–didn’t they realize that the parent does the shopping? Today they sell the same garbage, but they clearly are aiming for the parent, by claiming to be healthy. (“It has fiber!”)
I never ate that stuff. Pouring milk into a bowl just didn’t seem right to me. That was for cats.
You may now cover your King Vitaman with milk.
They don’t make 'em like that anymore. Those Jay Ward commercials were the tops.
They forgot Kellogg’s O.J.'s
No, not him, this was a Cowboy rounding up oranges acting like cows for his orange cereal. (we really need a puke smilie!)
And yes it was weird even before the real OJ got to be bad news.
Hmm, putting the two together does open up some possibilities, however.
“A cereal so good you’d kill for it!”
“A stabbingly good part of this complete breakfast!”
Heheh…I remember OJs and being quite surprised and somewhat offended at how bad they tasted.