Two nights this past week I’ve had really odd dreams.
One involved a good female friend of mine in which we were doing things that, being a gay male, I would never do with her. The main thing I remember thinking in the dream is “I’ve always heard that nice jewish girls didn’t do that!”
The other was Thursday night and it was about posting here on the Dope. I posted a thread asking for hair advice for my SO and I posted his picture. There were a couple helpful answers and then it turned into a trainwreck. Someone starting bitching and saying I was just showing off my SO. Then there were a bunch of personal attacks and the thread was locked after 32 posts. (I don’t know why I remember that number) It was just the most bizarre thing.
Last night was full of odd dreams for me. The one that seemed oddest was a tornado that ruined my Mom’s home and my car. I can’t imagine why I was dreaming about a tornado.
I dreamed that my friend at work had twins. Well, his wife had just had twins and he was at work and looking frazzled. They weren’t expecting twins, you see. They hadn’t wanted to know the baby’s sex so they didn’t do ultrasounds, and then they were surprised by two babies. So I asked what I could do for him and he asked me to go to Target to buy a couple of baby beds/pillows to put in little boxes so the babies could sleep. Pillows that looked like those foam pool noodle things. He also wanted me to get a $10 Walmart gift card. From Target. And then I couldn’t find my car in the lot, so I couldn’t help.
That was weird.
Baby fever is rampant at work, with three young ladies currently pregnant and two more either just married or about to be. So I’m sure that’s where the dream came from.
I’ve had a lot of weird dreams recently but of course I can’t remember anything good to share right now.
I had one particularly memorable one the other night. I was in some class doing a research project at a lab at the bottom of the sea. While swimming around the seafloor I came across a stone obelisk with strange writing on it, and somehow knew that it was fish language. I approached a school of fish, which was literally a school, with student fish gathered around a teacher fish. The fish were all wearing big goofy glasses and holding mini-cocktail umbrellas, and were being taught the proper social uses of them (how an umbrella factors into fish social rituals I don’t know). I asked the teacher about the obelisk, and it told me I’d need fish glasses to read it. I acquired a pair and headed back to the lab.
I ran into a friend and looked at her through the fish glasses, and through the fish glasses her head turned into a clock. She told me that when you look at someone through fish glasses, parts of your subconscious personality are projected onto them. She said that since I saw her as a clock, that it represented my anxiousness of the shortness of life.
For a dream with all this silliness, it ended on a rather deep, somber note.
This morning in my sleep I figured out all the secrets of life. From how to live a completely healthy, happy, and wonderful life without putting any effort to the cure for cancer. The ultimate secrets to every problem that humanity has ever dealt with.
It was so clear, and so obvious. Want to know what it is?
First, you take the golden orb, and tease some light out of it with your soul, then…
Wait, let’s go over it again.
First, you take the golden pillow, then tease some cotton out of it with your fingers, then…
Hold on.
First, you drool on your pillow, then you tease it with morning breath, then…
Dammit, snooze alarm.
First, you get comfy again, then think that maybe you tease something out of something with, uh…
Last night I dreamed that I had accidentally parked my car at the bottom of the swimming pool and I was trying to figure out how to drive it out without letting too much water in.
I tend have at least one weird dream per week. The best ones are like little movies; I could probably make a small fortune if I knew someone who could turn them into story treatments. Some of them were inspirations for entries in our “Finish the Story” threads.
One recent dream centered on The Doctor trying to solve a mystery. All I can remember now is that I was helping him somehow and woke up right after reminding him of an important detail regarding the suspect.
I dreamed I bought a new house – massively larger than my RL house, both in terms of size and numbers of rooms. I went with a friend to the new house to try to plan out where things would go, and when I opened the door, the house was filled with hundreds of cats. I couldn’t figure out how they were getting into the house, then I went into one room that had a huge empty fireplace, and as I watched, cats started dropping from the flue in twos and threes and scampering away into other rooms.
If I had the means to actually do something with them other than adapt them to a “Finish the Story” thread, I’d have written it down while still fresh.
I always have celebrity cameos in my dreams. Last night I dreamt that I was helping a co-worker fill out some paperwork so his son could go to camp but we weren’t sure about some insurance questions. I asked the HR woman for some help and she said we should go talk to Bill. She said, “Ever since he got those damn Priceline commercials he thinks he knows everything,” and gives me a :rolleyes:. Sure enough, she was referring to William Shatner. He was somewhere in age between TJ Hooker and Denny Crane but he sounded like Captain Kirk. And he really did know all the answers!
A couple nights ago I had an animated dream. I don’t just mean lively, I mean hand-drawn cell animation. We had just watched The Princess and the Frog and it apparently stuck with me. My dream was about an African American girl from the projects who discovers that her great-grandmother had been a great blues singer but gave it up for love. Somehow she travels back in time to change her great-grandmother’s mind and when she gets back to the present she finds that they are now a famous show-biz family with everyone being singers and actors and they are fabulously wealthy. But she also sees that her family is all miserable, everyone has been divorced, they’ve all had substance abuse problems and the boy she loves won’t give her the time of day because she is a celebrity. The dream had great music and songs and had the voices of Beyonce, Dionne Warwick and Whitney Houston. It was awesome but I can’t remember a damn song!
Let’s see if anyone can top this one I had last night:
mrs.kidneyfailure and I are driving in a truck when we stop at a red light. Light changes, we drive on and I notice some movement in the backseat (trucks have backseats?) and turn to see what’s going on. I find a person sitting in the backseat who begs me to take him back to the traffic light otherwise “[he] will start to change.” I ignore him and we continue on. Looking into the backseat again later, I notice this small pink blob laying on the seat, it looks like a chunk of SPAM with a mouth in the middle.
“WTF is this thing?” I ask.
A tiny voice says, “I told you I’d start to change.”
“Are you that guy I just saw?”
“Yes,” it says.
We head straight to a hospital where I, clutching the weird pink blob with a mouth, ignore everyone and walk right into an office and show it to a doctor. He tells me I can’t just “burst in here like that,” but I cut him off by telling him, “This thing can talk!!! It used to be a person! Look!!!”
The doctor asks it a few questions, it answers, and the doc says to me, “Ok, let’s get this thing to the lab.” Then I wake up.
I had another Doctor dream last night. At least I think I was with The Doctor, didn’t interact with him much. We were too busy trying to stop a power-mad queen who had stolen a throne that didn’t belong to her. The hero (Doctor?) chased her with one group of rebels and I, having stolen some of the queen’s (non-deadly) weapons, led another group of rebels into a forest and set an ambush for the queen and her minions. We had caught her and she was about to relinquish her thrown to the rightful heir when I woke up.
The werid part? The queen and her minions were trying to get away on things that worked remarkably like Space Hoppers and the weapons I found were some sort of magic balloon prisons, not entirely unlike those in Killer Klowns from Outer Space!
In a stunning reversal, I dreamed that I was at work and, to my horror, realized that I was fully clothed and *everyone else *was naked. I believe I said something about “seeing far more of [workplace] than I really wanted to.”
