Don’t move the goalposts. Conversation is different than “chatting up” or following people around. I’ve had plenty of friendly conversations with both genders at the gym. Following someone around who’s finished talking to you is basically always going to be creepy.
Same difference. If I’m talking to a girl at the gym, not creepy, but If I follow her to her next station to continue the conversation, creepy? Please.
Sure, if you’re actively involved in an ongoing conversation, that’s fine. But that’s not the sense I get from the OP, who said that the guy here chatted a girl up, the girl then moved away from him, and he followed her to try again. Creepy. If you’re doing this in a gym, knock it off.
How about we drop the dickish comments? One can disagree without phrases like “bring reading comprehension”. Especially since you’re referring to a comment she made AFTER the post of mine which you quoted.
But, since we’re on the subject. Read this post. I’ll quote it for you, if you like:
Me: I’m having a hard time imagining it. It sounds aggressive and threatening to me (in a violent, but not sexual way) - what people trying to pick a fight do.
**Weedy: **You seem to have an accurate picture of the shoulder bumping.
She then - AFTER the post from me which you quoted, changed it again:
Weedy: I had the impression it was meant as a friendly shoulder bump, as performed between guys who know each other.
At this point, I’m completely unclear as to what this shoulder bump looked like - whether it was aggressive and threatening, or friendly. It seems to change with each post. I don’t know how anyone’s supposed to comment on the events when every post changes them into an entirely different set of events.
Sounds to me like he thought from his initial exchange she might be open to conversation, went with her to engage in it and then was either thought better of it, or she made it clear she wasn’t interested or busy, and he went back to his weights. How is that possibly creepy? The OP thinks that perhaps he was hitting on her, but there is a long gap between annoying and inappropriate; and an even larger one between annoying and creepy, which is a loaded term.
No, I understood what his point was. I thought it was worth pointing out that in his efforts to get in his gratuitous cheap shots, he had to go out of his way to say that oh, yawn, in these threads, it’s just always the case that once the whole story is out, the “spider-women” are *always *the ones who were right; isn’t that so boring? So much so that he could see it all playing out in advance, down to the (incorrect) details about who would say what, and so much so that it’s worth being a jerk about how (incorrectly) predictable it is.
Yeah, they could all be working together to further some agenda, or there could be an epidemic of congenital liars fabricating stories about their real lives, only fucking up the original version of the lie and having to change it later. I don’t remember them, but I’m sure those threads exist. I don’t see where Weedy repudiated anything in this thread, or even slightly altered it, either, which makes it seem to me like this is just a simple disagreement being pathologized to score some kind of asshole point, but I’ll admit I haven’t looked very hard for inconsistencies. I hope I’m not becoming a spider-woman.
(Edit: This was in reply to Acid Lamp.)
I don’t know if you spend a lot of time in gyms, but in my experience, starting your workout or weight routine or whatever is a pretty clear signal, “I’m finished with this conversation.” Also, it’s not clear from what Weedy put, but it sounds like the girl finished with that machine early in order to move away from Creepy Guy.
If you read the whole thread, the OP initially is merely confused by the bump, then admits it was probably nothing. Later, I think she is merely trying to describe it, and failing. Even now it is sort of hard to picture how you would do that softly. It’s odd. As usual in these types of threads, posters are reading way farther into things than is posted. A shoulder check is a nasty, aggressive and unmistakeable maneuver. If he had been threatening the OP couldn’t have missed it.
If you are 30 and she’s under 18: Creepy.
Just for further clarification - was it just this one girl, or several?
If it was just the one girl - is there a chance that he knew her? Maybe even knew her well? Were you able to hear what was being said?
How remarkable your mind must be to both complain about palachek’s vocal ennui while being sure to inform us that you certainly can’t be bothered to scrutinize this thread! Both to castigate us for pathologizing a disagreement, all while observing that we’re just assholes anyway!
Just what precisely is your point?
I bolded the relevant bit here. Your experience does equate to reality. Nor does everyone know the unspoken “gym rules”. Guess what? even more people might not understand of interpret that nonverbal signal correctly. Sounds like it took him a minute to get it. Happens all the time. If he had persisted after she moved away I’d have agreed up and down that he was being overly persistent and creepy. Here’s the thing though, we don’t know what they were talking about in the first place. He might have been asking her about her athletic shoes, or maybe about if she’s taken any of the classes, etc.
I’m not saying the guy wasn’t creepy, only that we don’t have anywhere near enough information to make that kind of a call. The OP has admitted she doesn’t have enough info to do so, and yet you think you do based upon nothing more than your unspoken, nebulous rules of conduct at the gym, and apparent personal distaste of being talked to by a male stranger.
I know - that’s why I asked her directly if it was violent and threatening, and she replied that it was.
nm duplicate
And you know those ages how exactly?
I’m 31 and look in my early twenties. Particularly so If I’ve shaved. I know plenty of young ladies who look much older than their age as well. I’ve got a friend who is 23 and looks in his thirties because of a combination of genetics, he smokes to much, and works outside for a living.
Even if you are correct in assessing the ages, so what? I’m not allowed to speak to a teenage female for any reason? I can’t compliment a young lady on her hat if I think it’s cool, or note that I also like x-band if I overhear her singing along with a song on the radio? This might just blow your mind, but not every interaction between a male and female is sexual. Hell, in your world I shouldn’t volunteer to teach sculpture classes to teenagers because I might be a creep.
That palacheck didn’t make a very good one and was kind of being a jerk by bringing specific people’s names up, one of whom hasn’t even posted in the thread, and now, also, bonus point: you are kind of being a jerk.
It’s not that I can’t be bothered to scrutinize, as I’ve read all of Weedy’s posts, and am pretty well satisfied that she didn’t repudiate anything; she said she was confused by a certain action and then later said yeah, I don’t know, I’m confused about it. The scrutiny a few other people are willing to apply just seems to make mine pale in comparison.
First, try using some common sense. Do I think every male on Earth is a child rapist? Of course not. Do I frown upon every other guy on Earth because he might be a rapist? Of course not. Duh. Will I take a hard look at any guy who interacts with my underage daughters? You bet your ass I will. It’s called responsible parenting. You might want to check it out.
Second, how and why did you make the leap in logic that you did? Because I don’t want my daughters to be sexually assaulted, I’m probably a racist as well? That’s fucking stupid…unless you’re a child rapist, then I can see how my post bothered you.
I’m sorry my “blanket statement” ruffled your feathers, but we don’t all live in a wonderland where very few girls are molested, like you obviously do.
If a person is talking to another person, and the second person moves away, generally that means that the second person does not wish to continue the conversation, and is trying to end it. There are some exceptions to this, but for the most part, this is how one has to end an unwanted conversation with a person who either isn’t aware of or is ignoring the cues that one is giving out. This is not a gym rule. This is a basic social interaction rule. Anyone who has managed to reach his thirties without learning this probably shouldn’t be out in public without a keeper.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to talk to other people. But when other people have indicated a desire to be left alone, or to end the conversation, it’s time to acknowledge the fact that you aren’t as fascinating to that person as you think you are. (generic “you”)
Just because guys do it all the time doesn’t make it noncreepy. It just means that some GUYS think it’s not creepy. Ask the GIRLS, and they’ll tell you it’s creepy, and usually very unwelcome. I mean, that’s what a lot of women are saying…this is unwelcome. Just because it’s common behavior doesn’t mean that it’s not creepy.
Also, elbows has described what just about all young girls go through, more or less. Oh, the specific details will vary, but I’ve never met a woman who WASN’T groped when she was a tween or teen.
I should clarify. I don’t think that all men are creeps, or even most men. But there’s a lot of behavior towards women that men seem to think is acceptable, but which women don’t appreciate.
Guy in his thirties trying to pass himself off as in his early twenties: SUPER creepy!