THe SDMB classic (Begins with “woooo” and has nsfw language".)
I did not overhear this conversation about hardwood floors, but Alexa did and felt that it should be forwarded to a colleague.
A young woman on a call phone on a bus talking in great graphic detail about losing her virginity. The rest of the bus was totally silent, just listening.
“If it wasn’t for my horse, i wouldn’t have spent that year in college”
In a bit by Lewis black, he tells about overhearing one girl say this to another. He went on to say, “This is the type of nonsensical utterance that if you think about it too long you will develop an aneurysm and your head will explode.”
Yesterday a woman talking on her cell phone while I’m ringing up her purchases said “And they wouldn’t come into the house because I was wearing pants.”
Without thinking, I added my own thought out loud “What century are they living in?”
The woman looked at me, said “That is exactly right,” and then said into the phone “The nice cashier just said it perfectly: What century are they living in?”
Standing in line at the grocery store:
Son: “It’s a 1300 Shiloh rd.”
Dad: [as he types on his phone] “Shiloh… How do you spell that?”
Son: “Um… Phonetically”
Dad: [Gives son “the look”]
Me: 
A friend of mine who is both an old man and a person of color told me of an event that took place on a trip to Germany. At some point he was in an elevator with some random German folks when he overheard someone say something about “there’s too many chocolate people in here.”
I can only imagine the look on their faces when he exited at the next floor, saying over his shoulder, in perfect German “No, there’s not too many chocolate people in here”
As a Portuguese-speaking pasty-white gringo, I have caught visiting Brazilians more than once making inappropriate conversation in public, but I have never been the one who could come up with the right zinger in the heat of the moment.
I did approach some Brazilians once who were speaking loudly and somewhat disrespectfully at the Vietnam memorial in DC and I explained the solemnity of the monument to them–they probably called me every name in the book as soon as I left.
There is an honest to god giant that works in the same office as me. Enormous dude. Tough-looking, too. I mean this fellow’s genes must have had a planning conference in utero and decided to create a physical being that just screams “don’t fuk wit dis”. But he’s got a nice disposition nonetheless. Was walking by his cube a couple days ago and overheard him on the phone: “Cuddle me, I’m your Sally…” None of my business, I didn’t stick around to get the rest of the conversation. But now I want to say that all the time.
I wonder if those were the same two guys I overheard on a bus in Chicago. They were arguing about how time travel works on Star Trek.
My favorite overheard conversation was in a YMCA about ten years ago. I could hear two guys on the other side of a row of lockers:
Guy: When are you leaving on your trip?
Other Guy: Friday.
Guy: You gonna take your piece with you?
Other Guy: Nah, I don’t want to have problems going through security.
:eek:
Maybe a couple of off-duty cops?
The gym I used to frequent was a favorite of Trenton city cops, and there were always several serious looking dudes wearing LEO-related T-shirts as they worked out, and presumably talking shop.
That’s an interesting idea—it would explain why those guys were casually discussing the notion of taking a gun on a plane. I’ve never heard a police officer refer to a weapon as a “piece,” though (and I’ve known a few current and former LEOs personally).
One elderly lady to another, on the tourist steamboat that goes up and down the river in New Orleans: “they got one of those steam-powered organs, you know, a kaleidoscope.”
I heard someone today talking with friends, telling them she’d taken a whole lot of hubcap photos today, and if you do that enough times, it’s art.
Whip out the punchline to the Olga/Auga joke (paraphrased): “Go get it in the kitchen!”
I can speak it, but I can’t spell it. 