A man who is the son of my sister’s oldest and best friends called her yesterday afternoon, asking if she would come to his parent’s house to talk with him. The parents are out of town at present. She asked what he needed to talk about and he told her that he had always thought she was a “foxy lady” and that he couldn’t wait to get her alone. The man in question has battled alcoholism and drug abuse for most of his life; he is in his early forties and my sister is in her mid seventies. The phone call disturbed her to such an extent that she spent last night in our house. This morning, she told me that she now thinks she overreacted; I think she did not overreact at all.
I’d say that she did not overreact. The guy may have just been drunk, but if she didn’t know enough about the guy’s situation to know what was up then I think that she was perfectly right to err on the side of safety.
She didn’t overreact, but the guy isn’t automatically an asshole- he was trying to get tail, which is what guys do, unfortunately. But he could have done it in a less weirdo fashion.
Maybe he got confused and thought she was from the mid-seventies, which might explain why he called her a “foxy lady”.
I vote for drunkard, as cornflakes suggested, which could be why he called her, but hardly justifies it. She didn’t overreact, although I wouldn’t call the cops or make a big deal about it unless he did it again.
He wants a foxy lady with experience…?
Just sounds like he’s a sad sack. But your sister’s actions were correct. Better safe than sorry. At the least, an extremely AWKWARD situation was potentially avoided, if not a dangerous situation.
Not to make light of the disturbing phone call, but haven’t cola commercials and Viagra ads taught us that people in their 60’s and 70’s are still gettin’ it on?
I do not think she overreacted at all assuming there is absolutely no history of even a mild flirtation between them (and due to the age difference and him being her friend’s son, this seems unlikely).
Quite how unnerved to be would also depend on the content of the rest of the conversation. How did she respond to his request and what was his reaction to her response?
But either way erring on the side of caution when dealing with one’s personal safety is no bad thing.
I’ll vote that her actions were appropriate. I wouldn’t take any further action without further provocation though.
Not doubting that she’s a foxy lady, but is it possible that he thought he was talking to someone else? I have in the past called a gf and when the phone was answered I popped off with a “Hi baby!” only to find out I was talking to gf’s daughter.
This strikes me as really skeevey–also, what is she supposesd to do about her frienship with the man’s mother? Bring it up…never mention it…let her know that her son needs a lesson in how to talk to women?
My sister is friends with a married couple, not just the kids mother. Plus, she has known this kid since he was in diapers. Trust me, she feels not one scintilla of sexual desire or even sexual curiosity about this guy. She has been gravely concerned about future relations with the guy when they are in the presence of his parents. She has decided to ignore the guy and try to avoid ever being alone with him. I think that is a good decision on her part. She is still thinking she might have overreacted; I maintain she did not.
Thanks for the responces.
A person without a history of violence can perform an act of violence; people with a history of violence have to start somewhere. The guy is question is a VERY BIG MAN, as is his father. Father and son were both career military officers.
So, if I got this right, a 40-something drunk is calling a 70-something woman and looking for sex? No, the woman is not over-reacting. This sounds like a recipe for rape, or worse.
If I were friends with that woman I would go directly to the dude and tell him if he EVER contacts the woman again, you will call the police immediately.
Actually, now that I think it over, I think a call to the police might not be a bad idea anyway…how will you feel if you read some elderly woman was raped in his neighborhood and you didn’t call and let the police know this seems to be his particular fetish? Maybe he is just a “harmless drunk”…but maybe not. Wanna risk it?
Would you all think the same way if he had called a 20 year old girl, or if he called a 14 year old girl? The elderly are often considered easy prey, and this guy sounds like he has at least given it some serious thought. Doesn’t sound harmless to me.
My sister wants desperately to believe that his comments were not of a sexual nature; no matter how I spin things, I can’t believe they were anything but sexual. She has a real dilemma on her hands; she cherishes her friendship with the guys parents; they are her oldest and dearest friends. If she tells them about the phone call, she jeopardizes the friendship; the mother of the kid is very protective of him and is quick to excuse his alcoholism and his drug abuse. If the kid were to rape any woman at all, his mother would believe the woman led him on and was “asking for it.” My sister has decided to consider the incident as an isolated moment of God knows what on the part of the kid----strange to refer to a man in his early forties as a kid. In any event, his brief Florida vacation is finished and he has returned to his home and family. His parents will return to Florida in a few days; she has no intention of telling them anything at all about the incident. She has promised to let me know if and when the kid returns to Florida; I will spend as much time with her as I possibly can while he is here. Other than that, I will keep out of it.
And I am sure Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother thought he was a sweet boy.
Whatever…I can tell you that if a dude called some 70 year old woman I knew, I would at least call him and let him know I have a baseball bat.
That is essentially a passive form of blackmail. “Don’t say anything bad about my son or I will cut you out of my life.”
**He **is the one jeopardizing the friendship. **He **is the one who behaved inappropriately. How strong can this friendship be if they cannot tell each other the truth?
And no, she did not overreact. The phone call was creepy and way out of line.