You guys graduated from elementary school? 
Simple, my disciples. Boat sheep out to island. Tie rope around sheep. Bring one end back to base of building. Get lots of string (a hundred feet of yarn or twine would do the trick.) Go to office. Toss one end of out of window. Go down (or have accomplice do it to save time). Tie end of string to end of rope. Pull up through window. Voila.
Fucking A. That would work. The only caveats (which doesn’t make this impossible) are that:
a) The base of the tower is in the water;
b) The side of the tower is sloped outward, i.e. the top floor is about 2 meters wider than the bottom floor on each end.
So it could take boating skill AND aiming skill from both parties, but it WOULD explain things. Thanks, slortar!
I need my sleep, dammit, and it’s been over a week.
I saw the Hershey’s Kiss version of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile yesterday. It had 3 kisses on it, regular, almond, and hugs. I wanted so badly for it to be playing some sort of ice-cream truck music as it passed. Or at least be driven by a clown.
I guess I’ll have to be content with it as-is.
Re: the sheep. Here’s an even simpler solution:
Throw 100 feet of rope out of window, holding onto end of rope.
Tie other end of rope to sheep.
Row sheep out to island.
Row back, and pull in the rest of the slack of the rope through window.
After I hit submit I realized that for best effect, you’d probably have to tie a washer or something to the end of the string to get it to clear the slope of the window more easily. Now that you have the technique, though, you almost have to match them with something even more absurd, like, say, a blow-up doll or possibly a plastic Ronald McDonald doll.
Anyway, quite welcome. For my next miracle of explanation, I’m going to explain Britney Spears. long pregnant silence :rolleyes:
Hey, please note, the simple “drop rope out window” was addressed before the more dramatic, “fun” method. We didn’t know at first the base of the tower was in the water.
And Coldy, the bowman doesn’t shoot the rope, as mentioned above he shoots the light fishing line. The coil of rope can be in the bottom of the boat.
Awright. Admit it, dammit. It was youse guys all along, wasn’t it? Bastards!
I used to work in a movie theatre, and one day I came in and was told I just missed the single weirdest thing in the history of the building.
This girl walks in, buys a ticket. She then walks into the theatre and buys two of the largest soft drinks we have available (very large stuff). She takes a seat in the lobby and waits around for a minute (no more than five minutes, probably less).
Suddenly, she stands back up with no special look on her face, pours both drinks over her head and then walks directly out of the theatre.
WTF?!?!
I have more, later.
— G. Raven
I don’t think “pregnant” and “silence” are good adjectives for Ms. Spears, just wishful thinking on your part…
Sorry, I’ve been pondering and I just don’t have the words to describe the sheer ineffability of Britney. sigh
On a different note, one of my classmates (years ago) once told me she was driving down the interstate (in Kalamazoo) and saw a man in full samurai garb, holding a sword and meditating in the median strip.
Sadly, after half a decade or so in the martial arts community, I can understand the man’s reasoning.
Morrison’s Lament might I offer an explanation? Is there a college or University nearby? Perhaps it was a frat thing…
Or a Mutton Bone sheep.
Well, when I was in college, I looked out of my first-floor dorm window early on a foggy morning and saw a white horse grazing on the grass. No bridle or ropes of any kind, just the horse.
That was odd.
But I thought this was odder.
I wasn’t sure what to do, exactly, so I called campus security. I told the woman who answered the phone, “Um, there’s a horse on my lawn.”
“Oh, that’s mine,” she answered.
I used to manage a poolhall/bar and I have seen many many strange and crazy things but the one that stands out the most was this:
One night after closing I was walking up the stairs onto the main street only to see a topless woman walking down the middle of the street.
But thats not all, not only was topless - but she was bald headed AND she had only ONE ARM, which was successfully holding her 40 ounce bottle of cheap malt liquor that she was drinking!
SO there was a bald headed-one armed-topless woman (BHOATW??) walking straight down the double yellow lines!!
That image is still (sadly) burnt into my mind.
One day while driving close to my office, I just happened to look up at the City Building and see a big ball stuck on the lightening bolt of the statue Columbia.
Later I learned what it actually was.
City Weekly, Nov 2, 2001, Anna Brinkman:
In part -
"Pumpkins have been popping up in tall places since at least 1997, when the mysterious and high-climbing pumpkin impaler began his quixotic journey at Cornell University in Ithaca, NY. Salt Lake City boasts the seventh pumpkin lofted into the sky on public buildings in various cities all over the country. Montana had a pumpkin, as did Boston, our source noted.
On the evening of Oct. 24, a man posing as an architecture student and carrying a large bag asked officials if he could take some pictures of the top of the City-County building from the cupola—the small dome some 300 feet off the ground. Officials now believe the man was actually carrying climbing gear and a pumpkin in the bag. Still, once he gained the cupola, several feet of slippery, sloping roof separated the intrepid climber from his goal. Somehow he navigated the final 20 feet to the top of the statue, and then managed to get a very large pumpkin perfectly centered on the statue’s lightning bolt.
“The mayor thought it was a pretty impressive feat,” says D. J. Baxter, senior advisor to the mayor. “He must be a very skilled climber.”
That baby stayed there all winter!
Cool! Can I borrow that machine? (That happens to be my sons’ 7th birthday…)
There was only one college in Iceland at the time, and no one has ever heard of the “frat” concept over there.
There’s always the chance it was some kind of dare, but the waiting around and actually paying for a ticket just made it seem weirder
— G. Raven
A few years ago, some filming was being done in Sydney which involved a giraffe. Nothing spectacular so far, I’m sure there are private zoos, etc which would hire one out. Weird thing is, the giraffe scene took longer than one day, so instead of transporting it all the way back to where it lived, one of the film crew kept it over night in the yard of his inner city home. Now a giraffe is considerably taller than your average suburban fence, so it’s going to be pretty obvious if you walk past. Pity the poor bugger who’s just staggered out of the pub at closing time.
I was driving to work today, and when I got off at my exit, there was a ca parked on the grass median. Next to the car were 2 people, in lawn chairs, tanning. It just stuck me as odd to see people tanning off 495…
And Wicked Blue, I’ve never seen oranges in Massachusetts. I did see a head of lettuce rolling down 24 one day though…it was packaged and everything.
Weird.
How many people have heard about the walking nuclear missile who is following George Bush around Europe? I saw it on today’s news. To really appreciate it though, I think you need the English TV reporter’s voiceover.