If I ever asked for a ride, my dad would say “I’ll give you a ride on the end of my toe!” (I think it was just a dad joke reflex because he was always happy to lend us a hand when needed.)
At the nearest grocery store, they’ve started locking up the spam. I have to assume there was a reason.
But I don’t like Spam.
At my usual grocery store, the Spam has been locked up for years. Also the corned beef.
When me or my siblings would ever mention dating issues involving 2 people. “Should I ask X to the dance, or should I ask Y?”
Her advice was always "Choose the second option. If the first person was “THE ONE”, then there wouldn’t be a second choice.
Mom: Thunder overhead is “the angels moving furniture.”
Dad: “I used to complain about not having any shoes. Until I met a man without any feet.” (When I grew up and studied Persian, I had fun pointing out to him that the expression came from a 13th-century Sufi text, the Gulistan (Rose Garden) by Sa‘di. The same guy Sadi Carnot was named after.)
I never complained at the vicissitudes of fortune, nor murmured at the ordinances of Heaven, excepting once, when my feet were bare, and I had not the means of procuring myself shoes. I entered the great mosque at Cufah with a heavy heart when I beheld a man who had no feet. I offered up praise and thanksgiving to God for his bounty, and bore with patience the want of shoes. Gulistan, chapter 3, tale 19
If I hurt myself: “too far from your heart to die!”
Apparently the heart is the only vital organ…
(And since other family members have been mentioned, if you said something to my uncle and he didn’t hear you clearly he’d respond with “kiss what?”)
Oh I am so stealing this
My father used to dismiss a person who was a phony braggart as, “he’s a movie”.
Definitely some weird stuff here I’ve never heard. They sound like colorful characters.
The one I remember still is from one of my “grandfathers” (at one point I had 5, only 2 of which were biological).
When I was akid, I would ask "Whatcha doin?’ ", he would always reply “Making rats, want to put the tails on?”
I have no idea where that came from.
That’s adorable.
while eating a less than stellar lunch, my dad once uttered with an ever so slightly resigated tone, in a low voice to himself:
“This damn brat(wurst) has more wrinkles than my foreskin”
Or if help/assistance was needed/warranteed, but we kids did just sit around and were oblivious to the situation:
Sitz ned da wi a stingats g’söchts (that might even be a stretch for the german speakers )
Sitz nicht herum wie ein stinkendes geselchtes (fleisch) - don’t just sit there like spoilt/ gone off meat
When my mom would hear someone who wasn’t speaking clearly, she’d say “you talk like a sausage”.
If we’re including dads, mine used to call his farts barking spiders
How about husbands/spouses? My Hubster will say after a umm, eventful bathroom visit: “I should’a brought a baseball bat … I sh#t a bobcat.” Both of those choices always seemed so specific to me.
When I hesitated with food my mom would say, Eat it, it’ll put hair on your chest.
My mom had a ton of them, but one of my favorites was when she’d describe someone who thought a bit too much of themselves. “If I could buy them for what they’re worth and sell them for what they think they’re worth”. Sums it up pretty well.
Speaking of weird things people say, that’s an awesome username!
One of my Dad’s; too soon old, too late smart.