Well this is an obvious sister thread to Weirdest thing you’ve been caught doing by other people and potentially less embarissing. So what have you caught others up to?
Hmmm… a few months ago I was in Buena Vista Park in San Francisco and saw a guy giving a “mouth hug” to his buddy, right off one of the main paths.
I guess that could be tame by most people’s standards, but it sure surprised me. It was the middle of the afternoon! In a public park! Not even back in the woods or anything, right there big as day.
(And before any wise-ass pipes in: no, this isn’t a Kevin Spacey type story. I was in the park on my day off to take pictures of the city, not looking for bj’s.)
What the hell…I learn more on these Boards then I thought was possible.
So a mouth hug is a BJ, huh?
Nowhere near as colorful as SolGrundy’s post, but. . .
A few years ago, I went to a family reunion out of town. My mother and I traveled together, and stayed at my aunt’s house. My aunt has only one guest bedroom, so mom and I shared. Early the next morning, I woke up and saw my mother staring intently at her hand, which was posed like you would if you were making a shadow puppet of a bird’s face.
I watched her for a moment as she made the bird puppet’s mouth open and close repeatedly before finally asking her what she was doing. She was surprised I was awake, and mildly embarrassed about my seeing her. According to her, it’s just a weird habitual thing she does before she gets out of bed.
Whatever mom.
I was in a very nice hotel in New Orleans (the Royal Sonesta) and they had some sort of buffet table with a fancy skirt set up in the main lobby but slightly around a corner. My girlfriend at the time and I walked up and stood next to it and started to talk. We started hearing strange sounds coming from under the table. I lifted up the table skirt and two middle-aged people were having sex underneath the table. The man was in a suit with his pants down to his knees and the woman was wearing a slightly evening gown. Her panties were off to the side. The funny thing was that we continued to stand there right next to the table and talk until they were done (about two minutes later). They extracted themselves from underneath the table all hot and bothered, adjusted their clothes, and walked back into the lobby like nothing was going on.
Barb and I had friends who lived on a country road near my home town some years back. The road climbs up the side of a fairly steep hill overlooking the city before leveling out into flat farmland terrain up where they live (which is actually on a plateau of sorts). Rather obviously, nobody lives along the hillside – it’s fairly abrupt, with not-quite-cliff on one side and a rather steep dropoff on the other.
While driving up to visit our friends one summer evening, I noticed a car stopped partway up the hill, with someone in the driver’s seat, leaning back as if fatigued, but no lights on. Figuring he might be ill or the car disabled, I was preparing to pull over and see if he needed help – when a head popped up just above dash level halfway across the front seat of the stopped car. The guy in the driver’s seat made frantic get-down motions and the head went back below the dash. I drove on as if I hadn’t noticed anything.
That is so funny! I love the idea of naming certain actions after a celebrity. It’s like those special sandwiches at deli’s. Anonymous bj from/to a closeted celebrity! Great! I like that better than getting a “Lewinsky.”
PS: “Mouth Hugging” in the park is, from what I understand, quite popular, although I approve not at all. Come on, guys–move it to someplace more private.
What else *could *it be?
I’ve got it, I had to think about this one and the most weirdest thing I could think of that I’ve witnessed was the time I accidently walked in on my little brother with a tape measure trying to measure his you know what.
I’ve twice seen guys masturbating in public, once from a tourist boat in Amsteram, the other alongside a motorway in France. The motorway guy had carefully set up so that he was safely behind a fence yet still in full view of traffic, and had a huge grin on his face.
I once stepped out of my apartment on a cold morning to find a small boy, about five years old, standing next to my car. The kid’s mouth was smeared with mustard. He ran off when I approached; when I reached for the car’s door handle I noticed it was covered in mustard as well. I still have no clue what that was about.
Oh c’mon. Everybody’s stories about weird things other people do are about other people having sex? What could be more normal than having sex?? (Err…ok, under the table at the Royal Sonesta is a bit weird, but still.)
(I realizes at this point I should come up with a non-sex related weird incident but I’ll have to think about it.)
I dunno. Why’re you asking me?
Actually, I had never heard the term before, but now that I’ve heard it, it makes sense.
When I was at U.C. Berkeley, there was a woman who would bring her two pigs on campus to stroll about on the lawns. Not little pot-bellies, either. Great big pigs.
Of course, this being Berkeley, she had plenty of competition.
Call me an innocent if you like, but I thought it might mean a french kiss.
That’s what I thought, too, actually.
You know, you’re absolutely right. I’m headin’ down to the mall to whack off for a while.
Well, hey, I did say under the table at a fancy hotel might be just a bit odd. Guess I was just hoping for a little variety. 
(Anyway, what mall would that be? And you don’t mind if I bring a camera??)
Okay, now this is really wierd. And I hesitate to share this but I’m selfish and don’t want to suffer alone.
One day at an old job I walked into an office that was normally occupied by several people in cubicles. There was one woman in the room and everyone else was off doing other things I guess. This vision will haunt me for the rest of my life and it’s not too late to get out now.
As I walk into the room this woman(about 300lbs. of her, rather sweaty) didn’t notice me but I noticed her, unfortunately.
As I walked in, she had a finger deep into her ear, kinda digging around.
This was maybe actually a bit amusing, up until…
She proceeds to open her mouth really wide, sticks her yazuck way out, and she takes that finger and sticks it down into the back of her throat.
I’m stunned, petrified, disgusted. Funny how your mind works in moments of stress. I can remember thinking, she’s trying to find just the right tastebuds…
She never noticed me, I don’t think. I eventually regained enough muscle control to hightail it outa there. Oh why? Why me?
There ya go. I’m sorry, but you asked.
Yup. When I was at UC Berkeley, I saw a woman strolling casually through Sproul Plaza stark naked in the middle of the day. I believe she was celebrating the fall of Saigon (it was the same day).