Of my 5 immediate coworkers, 4 are wearing red shirts today. Coincidence? Of course. Damned strange, nonetheless.
Tell me what the freaks you work with are up to. 
Well, at least you’ll be safe if you have to beam down planetside!
Sounds like a COMMUNIST PLOT to me! I would carry a copy of Das Kapital around today, just in case.
Well, now you have the cones for a slalom run in your office chair.
Oh, I don’t know about that. It’s always the guy in the green shirt that gets it in the third scene.
If 50’s Dad was here, he’d know what to do about that.
My coworkers are circulating a Happy Administrative Professional’s Day card for our staff assistant.
Many are absentmindedly wishing her a happy birthday instead, though.
I work with a weird guy. I post about him in a blog I write, but I just have to share his latest weirdness:
Last week he asked my if I spoke Spanish. A little, I told him. He asked me to translate a birthday card he bought for his niece. It was a card with all the female Disney characters. He told me how his niece loves Cinderella, Snow White, Mermaid girl, and all the rest. So, I translate the card. It says something like “A gift for the prettiest princess in the whole world.” He hasn’t mentioned previously that he has Hispanic relatives so I ask him “Is your niece Hispanic?”
“No,” he replies “But her dad speaks Vietnamese.”
God’s honest truth this happened.
You are so lucky. I want to work where you work.