i was checking my email before bed, and i’d signed onto aim to see if anyone was on (no one was). as i’m reading an email from my mother, a message popped up “so-and-so want to send you an instant message. will you accept?” i don’t get many random im’s and those i do get are usually looking for cybersex (they quickly end the conversation when they find out i’m a guy)
so i accept the message and up pops a message from someone whose name i won’t post here. i will tell you that it was annoyingly WrItTeN LiKe tHiS. so here’s the rundown of our breif talk:
RaNdOm Im: SATAN LOVES YOU! (yes, he wrote in all caps. ugh)
acconav: that’s good to know
RI: YEP!
a: so… did you im me just to let me know about satan’s love?
RI: I LOVE YOU TOO
a: awesome
RI: DO YOU LOVE ME TOO
a: right back atcha
a: sure, of course i do
RI: SO… WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
a: full body armor
RI: THAT’S IT?!
a: well, some underware too… but other than that, just the armor
RI: WHAT DO YOUR UNDERWEAR HAVE ON THEM?
a: nothing-plain white
RI: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
a: 38
RI: I’M NOT
a: well, neither am i actually
RI: YOU LIAR!
RI: I KNEW IT
a: yup
a: me=liar
RI: ME TOO
RI: I’M 37
a: whew! i thought you meant you were lying when you told me you loved me.
a: i couldn’t bear to lose you
a: tell me you love me again
a: GOD D—IT TELL ME!!
RI: I LOVE YOU BABY
a: ah
RI: I LOVE YOU DADDY!
a: kewl
RI: ARE YOU A GUY OR A GIRL
RI: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?
a: I’m uncatagorizable
RI: TRANNY?
a: sure, why not
RI: OOOOO
a: how bout you
RI: I HAVE A PENIS
a: i’m happy for you
RI: THANK YOU
RI: I TRY
a: i’m sure you do
and with that, our exchange ended. he tells me he loves me and i never hear from him again. how typical. 
i don’t know how amusing that’ll be to anyone else, but i thought it was a hoot.
