<upbeat, Sciencey music plays as the camera pans across a plasma globe, jacobs ladder, and a rack of chemicals in beakers all bubbling away, the camera pans over to MacTech, ready to reveal the latest D.L. experiment>
Welcone to Doper Labs, where the Future is being made today, I’m Dr. MacTech, here with my trusty assistant Wild EEP’er, here to introduce our latest invention…
Do you have some shrubbery around your house that you’re not satisfied with, maybe it’s not big enough, or green enough, maybe you paid too much for it, well, your problems are over thanks to Doper Labs new invention…
Honey Roasted Shrubbery™
yes, this lovely shrubbery is a wonderful shade of bright green, looks nice, isn’t too expensive, and also tastes delicious with it’s delicate honey glazing and delicate roasting, isn’t that right, EEP’er
<EEP!>
yes, now go ahead EEP’er break off a piece of that shrubbery, and enjoy it’s Honey Roasted goodness, brought to you by your freinds at Doper Labs
[EEP’er looks uneasily at the shrubbery, then back to Dr. MacTech]
well, go ahead, it’s almost certainly very safe…
<EEP, EEP, EEP…EEP!>
no, you have nothing to be afraid of, go ahead, try it
<EEP, EEP!>
oh come on, that grew back last week, just like i said it would…
<EEP!>
no, the experiment had nothing to do with it, now go on and eat some delicious, mouthwatering, high in fiber and protien, low in fat Honey Roasted Shrubbery™
[EEP’er sighs, resigned to his fate, whatever it might be, and breaks off a small piece, gingerly he shoves it into his mouth and eats it, pauses, smacks his lips and hungrily begins devouring the rest of the HRS]
See, i told you, EEP’er, nothing to worry about…
Well, that’s all the time we have for Doper Labs this week, tune in next week…
[as Dr. MacTech speaks, EEP’er starts growing branches from his head, and his hair begins to turn into leaves with a delicious honey glazing, EEP’er begins screaming in terror]
Oh dear…
well, next week on Doper Labs, we’ll introduce my next invention, Dehydrated Water…don’t worry EEP’er, i’ll fix your little regrowth problem [dissapears under the counter then comes back up with a pair of pruning shears, EEP’er sees them, screams and runs away]
why not stay tuned and see what else we have growing here in D.L. , NO, EEP’er, that last comment wasn’t aimed at you, really, EEP’er, COME BACK! I’M trying to HELP you! [begins chasing EEP’er waving the pruning shears in a dangerous manner]…
<next inventor, please>
