Well, apparently not. (long, whiney, depressing)

Last summer was fantastic. I’d finally become a bit more sociable, and had a good, close group of friends I could spend time with. Five or six days a week, we would come out here to swim for hours and exhaust ourselves, pile a group of half-naked teenagers into my car, speed into town, get fast food, then come back to night-swim and watch movies.

In between seeing each other, we talked on the phone and IM until the wee hours of the morning. My job was dull but alright, and I had an easy year of school ahead of me. Things were good.

In contrast, however, came second semester of my Senior year at HS. The group began to splinter, and people started moving away.

Andrew and Amber, two of our ‘regulars’ finally separated, so that nobody could spend time with anyone else without excluding someone or causing hurt feelings. It wasn’t too bad, just typical teenage shit, and not terribly difficult to deal with, though a bit unnecessarily dramatic at times.

After getting dumped by Amber, Andrew picked up a new sort of sexual ambiguity. I call it “The Chasey-Chasey Run Away Game.” He would give me just enough affection to get me hooked, then get scared and run away. Fine. I had self control, and could handle that as well, although spending a good 10 hours with him every damn day was playing hell on my emotions. But, I was determined not to let my warm fuzzies complicate a good friendship beyond what it was, so we went on as always. At least, until one night, when he surprised me with a physical display of how he felt, and got me hooked again. Well, damn, I thought, this is getting more difficult. By then, I liked him a lot and was stupidly willing to put up with it.

Meanwhile, my best friend, Bradley, had lost a lot of weight and was feeling good about himself; fantastic. I was genuinely happy for him, and his confidence made him much more fun to be around. Every night we talked on the phone for 2 hours, and went out Friday and Saturday, with dinners interspersed during the week.

Then, another good friend, Jeri, moved to OKC, four hours away. That REALLY sucked. We got to see her during breaks and whenever we could (seldom) make it down, but it wasn’t even near to being the same.

Then, Bradley stopped calling me as often, and just stopped calling at all. We quit going out on the weekends more than once every month or two. He kept losing weight, started working out more and more, and made other, less ‘pleasant’ female friends. That really hurt, because from the amount of time we spent together I thought we would stay close. Apparently not.

Now, a Friend of a Friend has informed me that Shana is in love with me. Shana, honey, I’m gay. You know this, so why in the hell do you get jealous and possessive when I’m around other girls? I am not your boyfriend- stop it.

Meghan got another job, and won’t return anyone’s calls at all, except for her new boyfriend. Their relationship is ‘growing in God.’ Fantastic.

Amber is moving to California in two weeks. I’ll be gone on vacation, and won’t be able to see her off.

Now, the worst; Brad’s moving, to either Florida or Arkansas. His Dad lost his job, and his mother got better offers elsewhere. So, after the next two months, it’s unlikely I will get a chance to find out what’s going on with him, or even see him more than once or twice a year.

Something else very physical and sexual happened with Andrew, but afterwards it was like snapping out of a dream. We didn’t talk about it for a couple of weeks, and when I finally broached the topic, he said he didn’t want anything to happen until after he and his girlfriend broke up. Damn, I’d forgotten he had a girlfriend. I know it’s selfish and stupid, but I kinda thought that our two years would trump the girl du jour. Apparently not, either.

Shit. I just got off the phone with Jeri, and we’re both on the edge of crying. I’d hoped for a good summer as an extended celebration before I go to college next year, but it looks like that isn’t going to happen.

Well, all of those events are indeed the Kings Of Suck. But there are some things you can do. (Yeah, I know you didn’t post looking for advice, but this is what you can do.)

Be honest with Andrew and Amber re: hanging out together. Tell them that you like them both a whole lot and would hate to lose the friendship of either one of them, but that there may be times they will be invited to the same place. If one should decline the invitation, that’s cool, but you’d like to try to keep both of your friends. (Note: this does not, of course, apply if one cheated on or beat the other or some other case of severely bein’ done wrong, but I am assuming the relationship didn’t work out for other reasons.)

As for The Chasey-Chasey Run Away Game: you know who you are. Andrew hasn’t figured out who he is yet. This is hurting you and his girlfriend, but most of all it is hurting Andrew. You can back off and see what happens.

As for Bradley, Amber and Jeri moving: trust me, I really feel your pain. I recently moved in with my boyfriend 150 miles away from all of my college friends. While two of my best college friends will be moving here in August, this summer definitely had the potential to suck. But you know what? It doesn’t. We began an e-mail list serv (you send mail to only the name of the list and it goes to everyone) and we have great discussions on it. I also got a cell phone from T Mobile, where there is no such thing as long distance. I don’t know how many companies do that, but some cell phone companies have long distance/roaming charges. Check that out. If I didn’t get phone calls and e-mails from my friends, I would be very lonely indeed. Also, calling your friends after they move makes them really, really good. Trust me. It’s great to leave the neighbourhood and see that people still care if you’re alive or dead.

I’m really, really sorry your plans for a great summer have been ruined.

-M

Thank, Mercury.

You’re right, I’ll have to call Amber and Andrew and lay it out for them. I think they can probably stand each other, as long as there aren’t any confined spaces, heh.

I have been backing off from Andrew a bit, though not consciously. It might be good for us both to get some space. It’s hard for me to spend that much time with him, and I’m sure he’s finding it difficult to figure out who he is when we’re together constantly.

I’m really sorry to hear about your moving situation, but it’s heartening that you were all able to remain close, despite distance. My cellphone has free LD after 9 and on weekends, so Jeri and I talk often, which helps, especially because she has known the people involved for years.

Thanks again for responding. Everything seems better in the daylight, especially when armed with advice!

-Kody