I hereby confer on myself official status as an idiot.
My friend Aaron and this girl Stef have been right on the edge of being boyfriend-girlfriend for months. They both wanted it, but his last girlfriend burnt him bad, so he was afraid to commit. I finally convinced him he was stringing Stef along this way and so he finally made the relationship official.
What thanks do I get? We were supposed to get a pizza and watch “The Exorcist” tonight. Instead I’m on my roommate’s computer and Aaron’s on the phone with Stef. His roommate, Chris, was going to watch the movie too, and we could have done it without Aaron, but Chris is on AIM with hisgirlfriend.
I suddenly realize that you should never be the last guy in a group of friends to get a girlfriend. Idiot.
How about the Teeming Millions? Feeling left out by your friends? Out of the loop? Well, here’s the thread folks.
–John
(It was a real toss-up between the Pit and MPSIMS on this one. I decided to cut out the profanity and put it here.)
John – either way it sucks; being the one with a significant other or being the one without one. In what ever circle of friends you have you will always be one or the other. The strength of the friendship lies (sp?) in you or your friends keeping each other a part. A part of each other’s lives and activities.
Do you dump your friends when you are attached? If you do, than why are you surprised when they do it to you? If you don’t dump them when you are attached but continue to include them in your life and they STILL dump you when they are involved I would suggest to you that they are not friends.
It’s very difficult for myself to juggle the many factions of my life. I have lovers sometimes and I have many male and female friends that are a constant part of my life. Then there is my family. And then there are ex-lovers now friends. And friends who once dated or even married and are now apart but I manage to retain friendships with both. But I can’t invite them to the same party or see them in the same way I once did. Nor can I be around other friends who have married people I don’t care to associate with.
The scope of relationships is always changing. I guess relationships are like the universe; the one constant is change. I understand what you mean and I’ll bet others out here do too. If they had set plans with you and then dumped you for the significant other without giving you time to make other plans that really sucks and it wasn’t very nice of them as a supposed friend. But then again I’ve been pretty “ga-ga” over a new love to the point that I practically abandon most folks in my life. After the initial “intensify” phase I generally don’t forget those in my life most important to me.
I guess you have to decide if your friend truly meant to hurt you or is just too self-involved at the moment to really consider you. I’ve been on all ends of that and it really sucks all the way around.
Look at the bright side - In masurbation, you don’t have any of that pressure to please someone else, and you don’t have to cuddle afterward… Just wipe off!
Byz: I don’t have any idea if I ditch my friends when I have a girlfriend- I haven’t had one, ever. But that’s another peice of petty bitching and doesn’t really come into this.
I left my shoes in there and when I went back they’d thrown them into the hall. They wouldn’t let me turn on the damn light to find my CD. (Not sleeping, just sitting in the dark on the phone.) Ugh, I’m pissed off at them!
I think I’ll get some rest and try to consider this in the morning.
God, this topic completely pertains to me! My best friend is constantly getting all these guys (which I don’t understand, because she picks up half her personality traits from me, but that’s a totally different story) and then she blows me off for months at a time, then the guy cheats on her/rejects her/gets possesive with her ane she comes back to me, saying it wasn’t her fault, just the guy wouldn’t let her see any of her friends. I’m really getting sick of this and I would talk to her, but I can’t seem to find her.
This would appear to be the time for some fatherly advice. You’re just a kid and you are probably taking it all too seriously. You’re 16 right? Chill dude. Obviously you are not going to have the great romance of your life and commit to a partner for life in the near future. (at least I hope not.) Life is tough enough without a piano on your back (just kidding ladies).
Remember that how you do with the ladies has everything to do with what’s inside your head. Physical appearance is a secondary factor. If you are smart, friendly, cool, helpful, you will meet friendly women. Just treat them like a normal human being, don’t be thinking about any serious relationship, never reveal your horniness until you receive clear signals, don’t lie to her, practice safe sex, be very discrete,respectful, and courteous when the situation calls for it. When you are focusing in on a potential girlfriend remember it’s a delicate situation. She’ll back off if you put her off.
There’s a lot of secrets males pass on. Here’s a couple:
(1) Find out what her interests are and adopt them as your own. Women do this all the time. The real studs say “find out what her interests are and pretend they are your own”. Best is to find someone whose interests are somewhat similar to your own.
(2) Stud advice: “get her talking about her boring little life and pretend like it is the most interesting thing you ever heard”.
Maybe I’m going to trigger a mass of postings with other advice from guys or end up in the pit. All I’m saying is that if you are 16 years old, conservative, intelligent, living in a smaller community (all my impressions of this poster) don’t be too concerned about your intimate relations. It shouldn’t be a problem in the long life you have ahead of you and, if you go about it the right way, you should be able to to find a girlfriend at the age of 16.
Two last pieces of advice:
(1) Watch your escape routes. It can be almost as difficult to escape from a bad relationship as it was to get into it.
(2) Better to be in no relationship than a bad one.