A good friend has fallen in love with one of the most horrible girls I know. Now I have feelings for this guy, but appreciate fully that whilst I am in my own relationship it’s illogical and unfair for me to want him for myself.
But I can’t bear the thought of him liking such a b*tch. Unfortunately, this girl can’t stand me either, and last night my friend told me that I’m “a bad influence” because this girl will apparently talk to him as long as I’m not around. He seems to think it was no problem in telling me that I’m in the way. I blew up a little inside, but calmly pointed out to him that she’s out to advance herself socially and that (I used better words here) he doesn’t stand a chance. He didn’t really like that, it was hard for me to say because I didn’t want to hurt him, but we clashed a bit and fell out whilst I was still at his house.
I went to his younger brother (who’s just as mature as myself for some reason) and basically explained what was going on. At the end of the night, after our youth group had met, he came up to me and told me he still loves me. Meaning it in a friendship sense of course. Now he’s found out I went to his brother for help and now he’s off at me again. What do I do?
Let it go. If you break them up-you’re the bad guy. If you keep screwing around with friends and associates-you’re the bad guy. When it runs it’s course and he needs a shoulder to cry on, resist the urge to say, “I told you so” or you’ll be an unsympathetic ass bad guy.
My best friend ‘R’ (male) started going out with a woman seemed alarmingly unsuitable. (She told him he had to spend less time with his current friends, give up his hobbies and spend his savings on her erc).
I said nothing, while another mutual friend ‘P’ was very vocal in his opposition.
R got married, while P wasn’t invited (since R wasn’t talking to P anymore).
Sadly the marriage collapsed acrimoniously. Very acrimoniously.
I’m still best friends with R (I just offered him sympathy), while R still won’t talk to P. 10 years later.
I think this is pretty much human nature - nobody likes to be told that they have made a stupid emotional decision. Your advice may well be spot on, but it doesn’t mean it will be welcome.
Just drop it, it would be unwise to cross any lines. If you leave it as it is, and allow your friend to learn for himself, then he will ultimately benefit for it and you may be able to repair the friendship.
People make mistakes, they cannot all be avoided with the good intentions of friends. Just be sure to be there for your friend if it all comes crashing down.
You might as well drop it. You can’t prevent the guy from making his own mistakes. He may learn from them, you never know.
My brother wanted a particular woman so bad, he broke up a relationship to get her - despite warnings about the kind of person she really was. His friends tried to warn him, he got mad at them. They stopped talking to him because he was so blind to common sense. He and said woman made a baby together. She turned into the bitch from hell before she started to show, and only got worse. After a couple years of constant fighting and getting kicked out, he grew a pair and walked out. He sees his son on weekends. She continues to make his life miserable, and always will.
It just proves the old axiom, you can’t tell some people nothin’.