Well-meaning but totally out-of-it gifts.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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  1. When I was in Quebec City for the April 2001 anti-FTAA protests, my dad was there too, covering it for radio news. Anyway, afterwards, he got me (drumroll) an official FTAA Summit souvenir thermos mug. Um, thanks. Fortunately, the logo came off. :wink:

  2. The other day, my dad invited me to come to the cottage for Canada Day. I could barely figure out a graceful way of reminding him that he and Mom were already spending a fairly substantial amount to have me in Madrid during that week. He was so embarrassed. sigh

I’m sure I’ve pulled some doozies over the years, but so far people have been nice(?) enough not to bring them to my attention.

Any similar experiences - giving or getting?

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The last time I saw my mother, she gave me a huge nativity set. Honestly, I’ve never seen one so big before! Baby Jesus was the size of my hand. It was also ugly.
I didn’t have the hear to tell her that it was very ugly, and I’m an atheist.

3

One Christmas, I asked for a copy of The Soft Machine by Burroughs; hardcover, leatherbound.

Mom gave me a leatherbound, hardcover copy of Black Beauty.

Me–"Black Beauty?:confused: "

Mom–" Yes, Dear. It’s about a horse."
:smack:

It wasn’t the content, Mom jusy wanted to save a few bucks.

She reads, too.

4

I will quite often give a random friend a lettice…
:smiley:

5

We have this crazy half-aunt (daughter from my grandfather’s first marriage) that is notorious for being well-intentioned, yet well off base with her gifts. She’s very petite, and dresses like teenagers in the 80’s did–lots of knits, long tops with belts, those little ankle-high boots, stuff with sequins and applique… bows and ribbons in her hair. (She’s got to be well into her 60’s.)

We believe that she went shopping once, 20 years ago, stored all the gifts in a closet somewhere, and whenever Christmas comes around, she picks a gift out for me and my brother.

We dread opening gifts from her at Christmas. Again, she means well, and it’s so thoughtful of her to get us gifts, and she’s a lovely (if crazy) woman… but the gifts she gives are so out there. I haven’t worn anything pink, neon, spandex, or sequinned ever in my life. Yet I’ll open a gift and it’s a neon pink spandex top with sequins. Let’s not mention that it would fit a 3 year old, not a 26 year old. And she always makes a point of saying “I hope it fits, I got it on sale so I can’t return it!” Or perfume. She’s gotten me the same “Gardenia” perfume a couple years. The gifts are usually dusty, like they’ve been under a bed somewhere for years.

The past few years her gifts have had a religious theme; a bookmark from this shrine she goes to, or a “guardian angel” prayer that goes on your bicycle handlebars (I haven’t had a bicycle since I was 14)… but the gift she gave my brother this Christmas was priceless.

A package of travel-sized Kleenex.

Not even brand name Kleenex, but a generic “facial tissue”. Wrapped up. With a bow. And a card.

KLEENEX? I can’t imagine what would ever possess my mind and make me think “Hey, Kleenex is a good gift for a 23 yr old boy!”

We’re so awful for laughing at her gifts (which we of course don’t do to her face, we politely thank her for the gift), because again, she’s thoughtful, but really… KLEENEX? My brother and I weren’t home when she came by with our gifts, so we didn’t open them till the next day, thank GOD, because I don’t think he could have said “Thank you” to her with a straight face.

Kleenex. Yup. He’s still got it on his bureau as a joke. I tried to take one one day and he pretended to get mad at me for stealing his “present”.

6

My dad’s older sister, Aunt Jean is the alltime undisputed champion when it comes to giving out-of-it/ what-the-hell-is-this gifts for Christmas. When my brother and I were old enough, everyone in the family would actually bet on what the gift from Aunt Jean would be.

There were several memorable gifts, like the Ronco Hot-Dogger, a breadmaker, one of those snake thingees that you put at the bottom of the door to keep the cold air out/warm air in. This past Christmas was a gift that immediately debuted in the Top 5–a lighthouse.

No, not a full size one, THAT would be the coolest gift ever. This was a lighthouse stained-glass table lamp. Now that might work if the whole thing was stained glass, but not this thing. there were exactly 5 small panes of stained glass and the bulb was one of those teeny tiny ones that you drag out at Christmas.

However, the alltime Christmas gift from Aunt Jean was the year we got the Ronco Inside The Eggshell Egg Scrambler.

Top that.

Of course there was the year I got my mom WWF The Wrestling Album. (This was WAY, WAY back in the mid-1980’s, not this new shit that gets thrown out there every 2 weeks.)

7

Well, during our lil’ Senior dinner for the speech team, my teacher thought it would be a brilliant idea to give me a CD full of Christian music. WHY? I’ve shown no interest in Christian music! I’ve made it readily apparent that I’m also an atheist! Even despite that, I didn’t like it just based on musical merits. I like New Age and weird types of Techno and Classical.

I think she’s trying to convert me.

8

When I was around 10, my aunt gave me a copy of the provincial government’s report about the future of the Ontarian educational system. Beautiful softcover book, lots of bright happy pictures and all, but as a gift to a kid, it was a real headscratcher.

One summer during highschool, I mentioned to my mother in passing that “learning to play the guitar might be interesting”. Then I forgot all about it. At the time, I was more interested in bicycles, solar architecture, and girls. Next Yule, what do I find under the tree? A shiny new guitar…

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Thank you for this thread ** Matt_mcl** *wiping tears from my eyes *

I got a magnifying-glass for my birthday once. Can’t think why.

10

My mother used to be fabulous in choosing gifts for my sister and me, years ago. In the last few years, though, we’re beginning to wonder if she’s forgotten who we are.

About five years ago, she gave me a really boring, sort of bedspread-looking throw (that not only doesn’t match or go with any piece of furniture that I own) but was WHITE. I have four kids. White? WHITE??? My sister would have liked it far better, considering just about everything she owns is light colored or white and also has a thing about throws.

She gave my sister this absolutely gorgeous porcelain doll. A big ol’ doll, one I would have just died for, since I’ve been a collector of dolls since I was eight years old. My sister hated it and said, WTF??? I think we got each other’s gift! Nope, she meant to give us what she gave us. Puzzlement ensued.

The funniest one was back when we were little, and had begged for the “Operation” game the entire year for Christmas. Well, no “Operation” game appeared that year.

When it finally did appear, I was about 18 and didn’t even live at home. My sister and I looked at each other very strangely and sort of mumbled thanks. Mom said, What?? You said you wanted it!

Well, yeah…but about nine years earlier. It was really funny, though…and we ended up playing it just to make her feel better.

I won. My sister was sooooo pissed.

11

The mother of a close friend insists on giving me something for Christmas each year. Once it was a little light to read by at night (I’m single and there is no one to keep awake with a full sized light…) Once it was a (too small) sweatshirt with Mickey Mouse bowling. I don’t bowl, I don’t really wear sweat shirts and I have never in my life worn anything with Mickey Mouse on it. My favorite was a combination wallet/tool set. Yes, a real wallet and a real (small) tool set. It came in the same package and I’ll be darned if I can figure out who thought this would be a great combination to sell, let alone why someone would think to give it to someone…

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Easy there, bird watcher!

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I used to give people pocket lint, and play it up like it was a great gift (I’d do this by just handing it to them at random)…

the odd part is that people would sometimes come up weeks later and show me that they still had it.

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I don’t think it’s so odd that people would keep the pocket lint, OpalCat. Once I gave one of my friends some weird thing cut out of index cards (I was bored, so I made it and I certainly didn’t want to keep it, so I gave it to him). Not only did he keep it, he still thinks it’s the coolest thing I’ve ever given him. ??? It was a cut-up index card with some weird phrases written on the pieces. Pocket lint, at least, makes more sense. It has a reason to exist.

jessica

15

I once got a banana hook for christmas. I was about 16 or so, so it was definitely NOT what I was expecting. It was from a friend of the family. I thought it was pretty weird, but my mom ended up using it in the kitchen. To be fair, though, this family friend had just gone through a rough divorce, and had been a homemaker since she was married, and really had NO money to spend, so the thought was realyl fantasitc. But still…a BANANA hook? She’s doing much better now, and works full-time and even bought herself a new house. Her gifts since have been a lot more thoughtful, although one year I must say I was confused until I realised the usefulness of a 10$ payphone card. Takes an emergency phonecall and no quarters to really appreciate it :slight_smile:

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’Cat– it ain’t the same lint. It’s only whatever lint they happened to have with them.
Shocking, shocking how people decieve others. Ethics are dead. :wink: :smiley:

17

One of the oddest gifts I got was from my mum on my 18th Birthday. A book called "Loving Sex, Happiness in Mateship.” by Dr. Richmond Rikard-Bell.

I still remember opening my birthday mail infront of all my college friends urgh the embarassment.

For some choice quotes from the book see here.

Leechboy got me a box of blond hair colouring for Christmas the first year we were married :smack: he hasn’t done that again.

18

Whenever a new baby was born in the family, (no matter how distant) my Dad would welcome it with loads of essential baby items. But he didn’t have clue about buying stuff for his 2 daughters.
When my sister got married, he told her that he had gotten her something nice to wear on her honeymoon. :eek:

It was a…

sunbonnet!!!
Not a sun hat, a bonnet like pioneer women wore.
he wanted her to be well protected while she was in Bermuda.

19

My mother has very thin hair. Because the top of her head burns very quickly when she’s outdoors, she always wears a hat or scarf. One year for christmas, my father gave her a lovely sun hat, but it was only the brim, no crown!
Plus it was a hideous shade of orange… don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother wear orange in her life. I think that was one of my strongest clues there was a disconnect between my parents. :slight_smile:

20

About two-and-a-half times a year, for my birthday and for christmas and the other occasional special occasion, I get a sweater from my Dad&his wife.

This wouldn’t be so odd, except it’s an uninterrupted streak going back about four years. I haven’t had a growth spurt since I was like 17; it’s not like I’m outgrowing them!

(or getting anything else)

In all fairness, I must admit they are very nice sweaters,
and I wear them a lot.

but…

He just got back from a vacation in Thailand, my sisters got the usual touristy T-shirts.

How do you come back from a near equatorial tropical sunspot with a sweater!?