Well-meaning but totally out-of-it gifts.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

People keep buying me books on astronomy.

Well-written, popular books. Great introductions to various fields of astronomy, written in simple and entertaining language for the layman or amateur enthusiast.

Getting me books about astronomy kind of makes sense.

I mean, I’m really intersted in astronomy.

Really really interested.

So interested, in fact, that I became an astronomer.
So, I spend my entire day doing astronomy, surrounded by astronomy books. When I go home at night, I am supposed to relax by settling into my favorite chair, putting my feet up, and reading another book about astronomy. :confused:

Do people in other professions have this problem?

(I usually do read them, eventually. And they are good books. But . . . I do have hobbies.)

42

My dad keeps buying me popular books on science and math aimed at explaining astronomy/quantum mechanics/whatever else to laymen. I’m not talking about something Brief History of Time-ish. I’m talking about popularizing science to high school students.

Dad, I love ya, but remember all that money I’ve been paying to go to that nice school? The school where they’ve taught me all this stuff already? In much more detail? The latest book was about overcoming math anxiety, fer chrissakes! If I had math anxiety I would have had a nervous breakdown about a thousand proofs ago!

The worst was the time I got a whole ton of gift certificates to Fudruckers, a hamburger joint. From somebody who knew I was a vegetarian. Oh well, I sure enjoyed all those french fries…

43

Every year, for every birthday, my mother-in-law gives my husband a check for $40. Every single year, as she has been doing since he left home for college. It just cracks me up to know that this has happened every year for the past 17 years. I imagine her sitting at the table writing out his card and then breaking out her checkbook and thinking, “Let’s see, Pat’s 35 now. This year I will enclose a check for… forty dollars.” Don’t get me wrong-- a check is always appreciated, and in fact the gift has become one of those constants that makes life fun.

Now that we’ve been married a little over a year, she also gives me a birthday check… for $30. :slight_smile:

44

My folks are usually pretty good but my brother and I had to do an cult-rescue style intervention to clue in mom to the fact that souvenir T-shirts are not good gifts.

45

Remember those fiber-optic lamps that would turn different colors and stuff, and were really popular back in the 1980s?

We got one as a wedding gift in 1997.

I hope whomever buys it from Goodwill gives it a good home.

46

As a kid I used to look forward to Xmas gifts from my maternal grandmother. Always something nice, fun and expensive. Then for my 13th Xmas she got me a…

girdle!

47

My Mom once gave me one of those trees made of twisted gold-colored metal, with the little gold leaves dangling from it. Ugghh!

And one year my step-grandmother gave my sister a disposable shower cap and a string of obviously used & old beads. She disappeared to the bathroom just before my sister picked up her gift, and didn’t return until the family finished politely ooh-ing and aah-ing over the shower cap. We figure that she forgot my sister until the last minute–but as my sister said, “I’d rather be forgotten than insulted.”

48

My maternal grandparents gave each grandkid every year a crisp $2 bill and $1 bill. Every year, even through high school. And as someone else mentioned, it’s not like they were poor, so that’s not why. Heck, I would have settled for a little box of homemade Christmas cookies or something, or a small ornament.

My husband, being a letter carrier (in a very well-to-do neighborhood), sometimes gets presents as tips around the winter holidays. Most of the time, he’s simply grateful that they thought of him at all, but some are very odd or even insulting.

One year he got a CD of Celtic music (not even Christmas) from one customer. Since he’s obviously not Irish in looks or name, this puzzled him, but he was glad they thought of him at least.

One customer gave him a dollar bill in an unsigned Christmas card. This was one of the few times he was insulted, as he felt even a signed Christmas card would have been nicer in his eyes. Stuffing a single dollar in a card and not even bothering to sign his name seemed to him like such an afterthought.

One customer met him at the door the year before last, and told him, “We would have given you something, but we felt you let us down in your work performance in October and November.” His reply was, “Oh yes, that was when I was laid up at home with a broken shoulder and unable to work; I’m sorry the substitute didn’t do a good job” (which was true). He turned to leave as she stood there dumbly, and the lady came rushing out of her house about 30 seconds later with a $5 bill, no card or anything even. He told her he didn’t need pity and continued on his route.

A present that still puzzles us is a bottle of Cristal champagne; at the time, it cost well over $100 for that vintage (we checked in a store). He didn’t recall saving the life of the customer/his kid/his dog/etc., so his best guess was that the person had received it as a present, not known its value, and regifted it - either that or he knew its value but didn’t care. We happily drank it, not minding if it was regifted. :smiley:

Like mnemosyne said, phone cards can be darned handy. I used one within the last several months when I was stranded and my cell phone’s battery had died. My husband has received at least one of these, and keeps it as a “just in case” backup.

49

My mother’s sister (She Whom We Dubbed “Auntie Mame”) is the queen of out-there gifts. The family has a set of code initials: W.P.Y., for “Whatever Possessed You?” which is the most often heard phrase Auntie Mame hears after one of her presents has been opened.

Some examples:

[ul]
[li]A set of “magic healing crystals” for my brother. Now, to say my brother is a bit of a redneck is not much of a stretch. Anyway, he’s about as mystical and New Age-y as Hulk Hogan.[/li][li]An easel and set of paints for my mother. Now, Mom does have skill sketching, and she did design a house for her then-boyfriend, but she has never, AFAIK, touched an easel in her life. And, years after Auntie Mame’s gift, still hasn’t.[/li][li]A copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul for me. :rolleyes: [/li][li]A commemorative set of Crayola Crayons, in a decorative tin, with a special side box with eight discontinued colors, for my sister.[/li][/ul]

OTOH, to be fair, it can’t be said that she always gives bad or inappropriate gifts (although in recent years my wife and teenage son seem to get the bulk of these…but that’s kinda another story). Sometimes her W.P.Y.'s are that one gift you didn’t know you wanted until you got it, and then you fall in love with it. But that’s more dumb luck than any great planning on her part.

50

In reference to my fourth item above…I should point out that at the time Auntie Mame gave my sister the commemorative Crayons, my sister was well into her thirties.

51

I have this! I bought it FOR MYSELF when I was in my twenties.

My grandfather, each year, would give my father $100 to divide among himself, my mother, and my brother and me. When I got married, he still gave Dad $100, only now it had to be divided five ways to include Mr Winnie. We always thought we made out that way.

He also sent me $10 for my birthday every year. I appreciated the thought, but would have been just as happy with a card.

52

There was the time my sister gave me a piggy bank full of pennies for Christmas. (it’s not like she wasn’t old enough to know better… I think she was about 7 or 8 at the time) I had lots of fun trying to exchange 50+ pennies at a time when I was at the mall, let me tell you.

Then there was the Christmas after that, when she gave me a Nelson Emerson hockey card. Yes, I used to casually collect sports cards, but that was at least two or three years previously. For some reason, I still have it somewhere.

This past Christmas, my mother got me 16 packs of gum. She said that since I always give gum to the little kids (and others) at church, this could save me money. Yes, but I was sort of expecting something more… suitable… for a 25-year-old!

Then again, she also got me a novelty toy from the dollar store. It was one of those mini-animals in which you could put jellybeans (in this case, brown- and yellow-colored), then gently push a lever at the bottom of the animal to get them. Her rationale for this one? “Oh, since you always talk about pooping and stuff, we thought it would be nice for you.” Um… no, Mom… I do NOT always talk about it! If anything, it would be YOU that always brings it up.

By the way, this was supposed to replace the new (2002) edition of the Guinness Book of World Records that I was supposed to get. (and which my mom had told me specifically not to buy) Somehow, I don’t think it has the same value. “Your sister and I thought the novelty toy would be perfect for you, and it was expensive, too… it cost $3. We saw it after we saw the book, but it’s a good thing we didn’t buy the book yet.” Has she perhaps not heard about gifts that people would actually appreciate and use? I’m dreading next Christmas already, and it’s six months away…
F_X

53

Oh, and there was also the time that my father’s older sister came to visit a few years ago. She gave my siblings and me $20 to divide among the three of us. Hmm… notwithstanding the fact that $20 just does not divide very evenly into three, she was sufficiently monied enough to have given us each $20. We appreciated the gift, of course, but still…

Regarding the Guinness Book of World Records that I was supposed to get, my mom said I could buy it now. Yes, I could, but by that time, there were no sales left for the book. Maybe next year…

F_X

54

Your Auntie Mame sounds pretty cool to me. Every family needs an eccentric. I’d actually rather get useless gifts that show imagination (or possibly dementia) than boring but useful ones.

55

Okay, I have to know: What is the Ronco HotDogger?

56

Isnt it a electric hot dog grill ?

I have one from west bend from the 70s … I got it from christmas From a relative

You put the hot dog on a prong and and it was like a oven… only problem was :

A it made the hotdogs rubbery and dry

B I dont like hot dogs really

I used to get stupid gadgets like this from family al lthe time

57

My MIL gave me 10 tins of Altoids last year for my birthday. She knew I liked them, so she figured 10 tins should last me quite a while, and thought it was the perfect gift.
Uh, yeah, okay. :rolleyes:

58

My dad has a certain talent for choosing bad gifts. For my birthday, he always gives me books on subjects that I’m not interested in. Last year, I got a book about the Holocaust. The year before that, it was a book about nuclear weapons. I’ve never read a single word from either of them. During high school, I got books about math and physics and on two occasions, college history textbooks. He still seems to not have the slightest clue that these things aren’t among my reading interests.

His most notorious gift, however, was a statue that he gave to my aunt (his sister) for Christmas a few years back. This thing was a two foot tall wireframe model. It was abstract art, but I think it was supposed to resemble a bird. It had the most garrish color scheme of anything I’ve ever seen; ugly blue green, dull orange, hot pink, and blood red. Any person with reasonable taste would recoil in horror from this thing. My unfortunate aunt still has to drag this thing out and put it in the living room whenever he visits so as not to offend him, and he’s still unaware of how most people react to it.

59

Every year we ask my godmother (Auntie) what she’d like for Christmas. Last year, she told me, “YOU can buy me the Braveheart video.” She told my mom, “And YOU can buy me a bottle of Shalimar.” She told my brothers, “YOU can buy me a set of jumper cables.” She told my sister, “YOU can buy me that Barbra Streisand CD.” She was pretty specific about all this. Then, she started calling us all to entice us about our gifts from her: “I got you the COOLEST! THING! You are so going to love it.” Christmas comes, and voila! I have received a silver colored hourglass stamped “FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT DISCOVER CARD” on the bottom. My daughter got a pair of slip-proof slipper socks with pompons because Auntie never sees her wear slippers (um, that’s because she doesn’t wear slippers…) My hubby got an American Family Insurance paper clip holder from her. And when he opened it, she was all over him: “Isn’t that AWESOME!?! They were giving them away at my office and I just KNEW you would LOVE it!”

Or there was the year someone told her I was collecting angels. I collect Seraphim Angels, which are very pretty and run about $50 a pop. Auntie bought me angels, all right. 100 one-inch tall glow in the dark angels with hanging cords. You know those little plastic babies that go in baby shower favors? Yeah, those, but glow in the dark ones with wings.