"Well, Star Wars was lame."

In anticiapation of going to see the latest Star Wars movie with my fiancee (who has not seen any of the Star Wars movies), I thought it would be a good idea to watch the original trilogy.

Last night we filled a plate with hot dogs, had plenty of chips and nacho cheese handy, and even had a few adult beverages nearby. It looked like it was going to be a good evening.

Then I started the movie. This was followed immediately by an almost nonstop string of questions.

“Why is this Episode IV if it was the first one released?”

“Are those the good guys?”

“Why is Luke so ugly?”

“Ok, are those the good guys?”

“Didn’t they make toys out of those guys with eyes that lit up?”

“You mean that glowing sword is not a life-saver? Because I thought they were called life-savers!”

“Those guys there, are they the good guys?”

This went on and on and on…

At the end of the movie, as the credits were rolling, I asked her what she though about the movie.

Her reply: “Well, Star Wars was lame.”

I don’t know if I can bring myself to watch the rest of the movies with her. What a shame. A dirty, stinking, crying shame.

This marriage thing is pretty much a done deal?

Is your fiancee Jessica Simpson, by any chance?

Dude, Star Wars does suck. It’s one big boring cliche cheeseball. That Death Star thing? Made out of cheese. Sorry to have to be the one to break it to you.

“You mean that glowing sword is not a life-saver? Because I thought they were called life-savers!”

She must be just sensational in bed.

…Because everyone knows, skill in bed is highest among Star Wars geeks.


I’ve never seen the first trilogy, though now that I’ve seen the latest Star Wars I want to. I didn’t really love the movie, but I would still like to get the back story.

Simply put, he put it best.

This should qualify as grounds for divorce.

If this thread is about STAR WARS, then, please, there are dozens of other threads in Cafe Society.

If this thread is about your relationship with your fiance, then it belongs in MPSIMS… even if it happens to mention a movie.

I’m going to assume the latter and move it there.

Watch Empire now.


As an aging Star Wars fan I feel that Empire is the glowing jewel in the Star Wars franchise. Without Empire the franchise would have gone the way of Dune or Star Trek, with a small cult following but little mainstream acceptance. Empire has the struggle, the love story, the revelation that makes Star Wars a great story.

To summarize, the Death Star is cool. Han encased in carbonite is much cooler.

If she doesn’t like Empire, then maybe she’s just not trying…

If she doesn’t like empire, maybe she should be a contractor on the 2nd death star.

Good taste is grounds for a divorce? :dubious: I too think that the original movies are insufferably lame, but the newer ones (haven’t seen the newest yet, however) aren’t quite as bad because there’s some character development, and the cast is more attractive - although there is Jar Jar, unfortunately. She might not hate the latest movie as much, who knows?

Is it too late to back out now?

No, no. Anyone who is utterly lost at such a simple story, at an extremely simple movie every toddler understands, should be reprimanded quickly. With all due respect to the fiancee in question (I’m lying), people who show her behavior during a movie, who just can’t shut up and figure things out by themselves, even if it’s at home with your loved one, should be dealt with senseless. Not that I’m talking about the fiancee (I’m so lying).

“Are these the good guys”?

Come on, really, this is one of the simplest movies to figure out who’s good and who’s bad. surely you exaggerate.
As to how come “Luke looks so ugly”, that one’s easy: it was the 1970s. Everyone looked like a dork.

Her critique is fine – as cinema, it’s lame – but if indeed she was lost through the whole thing, that’s sad.

Now, if she had started doing spontaneous MST3K on it, that would be a keeper :wink:

Ok, what I did was see episode III and then watch the original trilogy. Makes much more sense that way, especially since my knowledge of the story was foggy at best. Originally I actually actively disliked Star Wars, because it wasn’t science fiction, but it pretends to be. I now see that Star Wars itself doesn’t pretend to be science fiction, but people who don’t know what science fiction is tend to think Star Wars is it. Star Wars is not science fiction, it’s fantasy adventure that happens to have the characters using technology more advanced than our own. Real science fiction comments on the social and/or ethical impact of science and/or technology. If Star Wars addressed the social/ethical implications of a controllable, universal Force, it would be science fiction. But it doesn’t do that. Star Wars is a saga, a fantasy adventure saga, and it should be appreciated as such.

Wanting to see the sequels for the backstory of the prequel?

Stranger things have happened I suppose.

And who the fuck doesn’t like Star Wars? Do these people really exist?

Vitally important question: Which version of Star Wars were you watching? Because if she dissed the Special Edition version, there’s still hope, but if she dissed the pre-Crayola version, then I’d be rethinking the relationship.

Yes, we do. We also can appreciate quality sci-fi, and recognize Star Wars for what it is - a mediocre telling of the story of a ‘hero’ (see Joseph Campbell) that caught cult status. They weren’t and aren’t good stories, let alone good movies.

Now if his fiancee can’t seem to grasp a simple story line, that’s another matter.