So I went to a bachelor party Saturday night.
Yeah, yeah, I can hear the catcalls and the hooting and the ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ already. Unfortunately- or maybe very fortunately- it wasn’t like that at all. Tony, the guy who’s getting married, is a very conservative Catholic; Steve, the guy who organized the party, is a very conservative Jew. These are not guys who enjoy the idea of surrounding themselves with nude women; or at least, the idea of publicly surrounding themselves with nude women who are obviously after their money. I’m lucky that Steve talked Tony out of his original idea of “Putt-Putt or bowling”.
To make matters worse, this weekend was my class reunion. While there was a small get-together Friday night, the big hoo-de-ha was Saturday night (a brilliant marketing ploy, too, I must say; “Come spend a Saturday night trapped on a boat in the middle of the Potomac with dozens of people who teased you mercilessly in high school!” No wonder not many people showed up.) and I was actually kind of looking forward to it. But Tony is one of my GF’s best friends, and I felt kind of obligated to go to the bachelor party.
So. Steve and Tony finally agree that the party will be going down to The Improv (Washington D.C.'s only comedy club) and having dinner and a show. All in all, not a bad concept.
So Saturday night, me, my GF, Tony, Tony’s fiancee (yes, folks, Tony wanted to make sure that his fiancee could attend his bachelor party. If that doesn’t defy the very idea of a bachelor party, I don’t know what would), and three other friends of Tony’s, go down to the Improv. We get there just early enough to get a table with a good view of the stage; we gorge ourselves on pretty mediocre burritos (why would a comedy club only serve Mexican food? Whose bright idea was that? “You know, if the patrons fart their way through the first comic, they’ll be in a great mood!”).
The first comedian- who also acted as general M.C.- was a mixed bag. Some bits of his were outrageously funny; some just didn’t hit the mark at all. Unfortunately, I don’t remember his name.
The second comedian- don’t remember her name, either- was generally pretty flat. Kind of tired jokes, kind of poor delivery, mostly just bland.
The third comedian was the headliner- Greg Valentine. Apparently, he’s a bit player on “King of Queens”, which is a show I’ll have to start watching if he’s half as funny on the show as he was in his act. He was literally bouncing off the walls, doing hyperkinetic impersinations of Georgians asking if you want sweet tea, himself trying to roll his luggage through an airport, etc. An extremely funny comedian.
And as Greg Valentine was winding up his act, I was thinking to myself, “Geez, that was kind of short. I mean, sure, it was only $15 a ticket- $25 including the dinner- but I expected more than forty-five minutes of stand-up.” Then Greg takes his bow, and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce a friend of mine; he’d like to do some of his new routine for you. Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to…
…Jerry Seinfeld!"
And I’ll be damned if Jerry Seinfeld himself didn’t walk out into this tiny little comedy club and do an hour of new material.
I cannot buy any lottery tickets for the next few months; I must have used up all of my luck Saturday night. My God. I’m still amazed.
