Went to space? and this is all I get?

I have strange and quirky dreams. Pretty much every night. Had a cute one last night.

Of course my dream has many more details and actions and decisions that are to be pondered over than this, but here is the short version.

Somebody gives me a surplus rocket/missile. This sucker is pretty big, is probably functional, has a guidance system, and is in good enough shape that it could be sold as working for 10s of millions. For some reason that made sense in the dream the best thing for the guy to do is give it away to me for free and he knew I could “use it” (thats a hint to you guys out there for next Chrismas).

After some pondering, I decide to build a capsule to put on top and take a little space trip. Just pop up a 100 miles or so and come straight down. I have all the manuals/specs and crap and everything looks good when its all said and done.

3,2,1…damn this is crazy…WTF press the button…oh shitt here we go…hmm things are smoothing out…instruments say all is perfect…nearing burnout…damn I am gonna live and make it!..fricking fantastic…fade to black

Then in my dream I wake up looking out the capsule window. Hmmm…blue sky… thats good…not rocking, so not way out in the ocean…is that a magnolia leaf I see?..I must be up in a magnolia tree.

Then I see it. A guy in one of those high lift bucket trucks approaches the window. Great, at least someone here to “rescue me”. No. Oh hell no. What does he do? He tapes something to the window, then promptly leaves. WTF?

I struggle to unbuckle myself and pop open the hatch. When I put my head out I can see that the capsule is literally covered in all kinds of tickets/warnings/legal notices/fines ect ect. Those bastards! I manage to get to the ground. I’ve landed in magnolia tree in one of the city parks. I call friends and relatives to come get me and bring stuff to get the capsule down out of the tree and take it away. The whole time we are trying, all sorts of worker and authorities are giving us hell for not doing it fast enough, not helping at all, and threatening to give me even more pieces of paper.

Finally, back at the lab, I quickly look over all these gifts. Its gonna cost a fortune and there are dozens of seperate legal proceedings that I’ll be involved in. Ughhh, I think I am gonna be ill.

Wait, what about the magic flight itself? Hmmmm, must have lost some cabin pressure and blacked out or suffered too high a g force for a bit. Crap, crap, crap. Lets look at the data recorders. Shit, they went tits up about the time I passed out. I am sure my ballistic trajectory carried me very high, but the data craps out at about 15 miles up. Camera/video footage? Nope, decided not to turn it on until I reached burnout. Same for the backup GPS system. Hmmm, maybe the military radar systems can tell me how high I went. Nope, thats classified and they are also a bit pissed at me, so forget that angle.

Well, aint that fracking great. Went to space. Can’t prove it. Can’t remember it. Don’t even have a crappy photo to show anyone. Hell will freeze over before someone gives me another workable rocket. And on top of all that I am now probably bankrupt and will spend years going to court.

Needless to say, I woke up this morning a bit pissed, frustrated, and disgusted with a bleak feeling future ahead of me.

And of course, my can’t get it out my head all day song for today is “Major Tom”.