“Schodinger (Funeral Home) invites you to learn about the many benefits of funeral and cremation pre-planning, while enjoying free pizza, salad and drinks! Come for the food and stay to learn more…”
“How could you miss this?!”
And yes, the come-on line at the top of the mailing is:
“What’s on the Menu?”
They also want RSVPs.
I’m just surprised they didn’t make it a Halloween-themed event, with the funeral home director dressed up as Dracula popping up out of a coffin, accompanied by ghostly music.
I suppose if guests overdo it on the pizza, someone might keel over dramatically, illustrating the need for pre-planning. :dubious::smack:
I heard an ad on local radio when we were out at the Oregon coast last week that went something like this:
“Please drop by and try out our new milkshakes. We discovered that a milkshake can be made from any kind of fruit and we can make them out of any kind of fruit that we have. Jennifer and I, my wife, will be happy to make one for you.”
I’ve been watching the news since we got back to see if Jennifer and he, his wife, have received a Nobel for this stunning discovery yet, but apparently they’ve been ignored because, you know, politics.
While chowing down on pizza and salad while hearing about cremation plans might be a downer, there’s a more fun event going on later this month in southwest Ohio.
The incumbent running for re-election in Ohio’s 62d House District is holding a “Machine Gun Social” at a nature preserve where participants will get to fire automatic weapons. His opponent, a clinical psychologist named Charlene Schneider disapproves, saying the event is “insensitive”.
The state rep counters by saying “You should see the caliber of people that attend this event”.
“Say, did you know that KRAFT reconstituted flesh topping sauce has 8 essential vitamins, reduces wrinkles and actually softens your facial complexion while you eat it it?”
"Madge! Is that true…!? "
“On your pizza… You’re eating it right now…!” :eek:
When I first moved to my little burg, I tried out every hair salon. They were all incapable of cutting my hair as requested. There was one salon, though, that I gave a wide berth. It was the one in the back of the funeral parlor. It had a separate entrance, but I didn’t want to find out if there was an internal connecting door.