Same here, in that they will not only inherit flawed genetics (depression, panic attacks, social anxiety), but that I have not learned how to be a good parent without steady role models. I just don’t trust myself to treat a child with the love they need when I am so neurotic.
I was raised by a depressed father. Well, he wasn’t always depressed…
My dad was the best when my sister and I were young… he’d dance around like a crazy man, sing horribly, he was always very entertaining…
That all changed when he had back surgery due do an injury at his work. He was out of work for exactly one day less than a year, and it really got to him. See… my dad is neurotic. Seriously. He always has to be up doing something… he was an extremely nervous person (I’m a lot like him unfortunately). During the year he was off after his surgery, he was pretty much confined to his chair/bed. He could get the bathroom and such by himself, but he had to hunch over and practically run there… he hated people doing things for him during that time as well… because HE wanted to do them.
He hasn’t been the same since. He’s always upset about something… money is the biggest thing it seems. He hates going to family functions and rarely goes out of the house. He just turned 50, yet he acts like he’s 80. It’s awful.
Growing up I hated him a lot of the times… he is frequently mean to my mom, and while I was living there, to me as well.
Same here… I’m just like my dad, and I certainly do not want to pass that on.
I always thought I was the only one who decided not to have children for fear of them ending up with my mindset and genetics. I guess alot of other people have come to the same conclusion. Even though I agree with the decision, its still sad since we have come so far as a society compared to where we started out as. We’ve spent hundreds of years, trillions of dollars and endless trillions of man hours making life better for humanity (medicine, labor unions, democratic governments, representative police forces who protect us rather than exploit us, human rights, etc.) and it still isn’t worth having children for alot of people. :(. I think that is what I regret the most, that after all we have done as a species to make life worth living its still not a place I feel comfortable bringing a child into.