Were you sedate until someone enticed you to work out? How did they do it?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My brother is sedate and very overweight. I’d like to somehow encourage him to start exercising. Even if he doesn’t lose a pound, the physiological changes from exercise would be beneficial.

I’d like to hear stories from people who were not into exercise until someone approached them and somehow encouraged them to take up exercise. What did that person say to you? How did they approach you? What did they say or do which inspired you to start working out? Did that person just come around at exactly the right time or did they say something different than you had heard before?

I know many times it’s the actual person who makes the decision to exercise on their own. If possible, I’d like to hasten the process in my brother. I seriously feel he’s taking decades off his life because of his health situation. If there’s anything I can do to help turn that around, I want to try.

2

I decided on my own, sort of, but I sort of had encouragement.

I was seriously depressed and felt miserable, so I made an appointment to see a shrink. I hated the session with the therapist, it seemed stupid and she didn’t seem helpful.

Well, she didn’t seem helpful because her answer was just that maybe I should get out and exercise some and that I didn’t really have a problem, I just needed to get moving. That pissed me off but I did eventually get in to exercising and it did/does help. I’ve been a regular at the gym for about 2.5 years now. Never went back to the therapist.

Make sure you don’t harp on him about the weightloss benefits because frankly, they probably won’t come. I didn’t lose more than 10 lbs (of 100+ needed) in a year and a half of lifting and cardio. But my body felt better and my brain felt better, and eventually I started dieting and then the weight came off.

But still, I don’t know that any amount of lecturing from any well-meaning friend or relative could motivate anyone to get more active. IMHO you really have to figure it out for yourself. Anything else is just sort of…condescending.

3

No one approached me. I had a couple friends who were encouraging me to work out, but one was a marathon runner (Not. Going. To. Happen.) and the others were martial artists. What really got me off my butt was a routine doctor’s appointment in which I stepped on the scale, read the number and lost my damn mind. First things first: I got off the meds that were increasing my appetite. Some of the weight gain was due to that. The rest of the weight gain was from quitting smoking. So I started back up again. (Yeah, I’m not proud of that – not the smartest “fitness” move I’ve ever made.)

Then another doctor started giving me crap about my cholesterol levels. She wanted me to lose 15 pounds and suggested I get a Wii Fit. Now, I wouldn’t call that thing a really great workout, but it’s a great way to transition off the couch, have some fun, and get your butt moving just a little bit. I got bored with it quickly, as I have done with anything exercise. I decided it would be a better workout if I just came home, cranked up the stereo and danced until I was sweating balls. That was cool, but I felt like my moves were really out of date and I could use a little discipline, or choreography, or something… I was starting to get bored doing the same old thing over and over and over and over.

I stumbled upon an alternative dance studio where they taught classes in forms of dance that you don’t find at Arthur Murray: bellydancing, breakdancing, Zumba, salsa, pole dancing, burlesque, aerial silks, aerial hoops (lyra), trapeze. That’s when I found my passion and have been doing that ever since. It’s great fun and I wouldn’t have noticed the 40 pounds that went missing except people kept pointing out how baggy and loose my clothes were getting. I kept having to buy stuff for work because I’d put on a skirt and it would just fall off. Some guy mentioned how hot my six pack abs are. My whaaaat? I have a six pack? When did THAT happen? I ran to the mirror, stripped down, and lookit that. I have a six pack. Huh. I was just trying to build strength and have some fun. Somewhere along the way I turned into a dance-thlete. (Not really a dancer; not really an athlete. Kind of have one foot in each world.)

I don’t know if there’s anything anyone could have said to me that would have gotten me off the couch. Maybe go for the “have you seen your own balls lately/does anyone want to fuck you looking like that?” angle. I dunno.

My sister was pushing 400 pounds just about the same time I’d found my exercise bliss. We did not discuss our weight issues with each other. When you have a morbidly obese sister, your own extra 40 pounds just seems like, well, healthy in comparison. She had a couple of minor incidents in her life that caused her to take a good, long, and finally realistic look in her mirror and she set herself on a weight loss journey. Two years later, she’s lost 145 pounds and still does Zumba, swims, and walks 5Ks (she can’t run them because the excess skin hanging off her impedes her mobility). She loves Zumba. I love pole. If anything, you could try different things, invite your brother along and keep trying things until you find something he loves so much he’ll want to do it without being asked, poked, prodded, bribed, or humiliated into.

I just don’t think it’s my place or yours to tell someone else they need to lose weight or how. What you are really looking for is “what can I say to emotionally manipulate my brother into working out”? I’m not going to help you with that. Your brother’s health choices are his own business and despite the fact that those choices effect more than just himself, there isn’t fuck all you can do about it. What if the shoe were on the other foot? Or if you were a smoker or something? What could someone say to you that would make you change your behavior? I’m guessing if you have any self-esteem at all and aren’t a total people pleaser, there isn’t much.

Even if it’s a train wreck, you have to stand there and watch. We can’t control other people’s behavior, even if we think we have their best interests in mind. If you think you are going to effectively guilt or shame your brother into exercising, you will probably be disappointed. Better to focus on yourself and be positive, “Man, I just came back from this great canoeing trip and boy are my arms tired. You should come along with me sometime, man, there’s a lot of great hot chicks in tank tops!” You could invite him along on whatever you do, and be supportive, but if you’re not on a regular workout regimen yourself, then who the hell are you to tell him how to be? Either way, if you do something he has no interest in (such as marathon running), you won’t be able to get him to do it with you even if he is being chased by hungry zombie crocodiles.

Stop worrying about your brother and fix up your own life. If it’s perfect, then just enjoy that and quit trying to make someone else be what you want him to be.

4

Why, I’ve been sedate while working out!

5

My husband wanted to work out, and did so by himself for a good long time. However, he was constantly pestering me to come along. I tried it, didn’t like it, and then we “argued” about it for about a year. In the end, I guess I decided to start going because my husband doesn’t like doing stuff alone.

This should probably be the inspirational part where I tell you how great it’s been, but I still find it boring. Physically, I’m excellent, but then I always was. :smiley: My big motivation to go to the gym is that I get to read while my husband hits the steam room.

Not helpful, sorry!

6

Took me sailing and hiking, and fun things like that.

7

He took a seda give?

8

I knew I should be walking more than I was. The “23 1/2 hour” video on Youtube convinced me and got me going. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo

9

I keep reading the word in the title as “seduced”.

10

I have been working out regularly since reading Younger Next Year.

I continue to be sedate*, however.

*Serenely deliberate, composed, and dignified in character or manner.

11

The best thing you can probably do is try to get him to exercise WITH you.
If I were you, I’d say something like “I’m trying to get in better shape and I think it would be fun to have company while I exercise. Do you want to go for a walk?” He’s a lot more likely to go ahead and walk with you than he is to start walking because you told him you think he should.
If you can think of a fun physical activity that he would enjoy, that would be even better than just exercise for its own sake. I started horseback riding recently and have gotten in better shape because of it - because it’s a lot easier to be active doing something I enjoy than something I’m just doing for the sake of exercise.

Also keep in mind that exercise is often PAINFUL for very overweight people, since they are out of shape and often have suffered damage to their joints because of the weight. Be understanding if he doesn’t want to do a lot. Just encourage him to do what he can. If he keeps it up, he’ll eventually be able to do more - so you don’t want him to get discouraged because he was too sore from his first effort to want to do it again.
If it’s practical, you might want to see if there is a gym with a pool nearby. Water-based exercise is often better for very overweight people since it doesn’t put stress on their joints.

12

My step-brother encouraged me by dying of a heart attack at 53. Not intentional, of course, but it did get me to motivated to exercise.

13

Exercising out of fear, obligation, or pressure is usually counterproductive as it sends the message that physical activity is work, a chore, and unenjoyable.

Also note that it’s more important to have physical activity than that it specifically be formal exercise.

The only way to get someone onto the path of sustainable life long physical activity is to show them that it is enjoyable and something to look forward to.

For someone who is very sedate or out of shape, you need to find something very easy physically, like swimming, or very fun like dancing, or something for which the physical aspect is tertiary such as walking around a museum.

For some the sedentaryness is just a symptom of mental inertia or stagnation, in which case it’s good just to give them the opportunity to get out of the house or change up their routine in any way.

The key is to make small changes in steps, and not try to advance before the current level has become habit.

14

My doctor told me to get my cholesterol down and lose weight before I got Type II diabetes. So basically exactly the opposite of what **jackdavinci **said.

But since that happened in August 2007 and I’m still doing it, his warning was enough motivation for me.

15

They’re all trying to tell you that the word is ‘sedentary’, not ‘sedate’.

16

I know that there’s probably nothing I could do which would instantly make him start working out. Even so, I’m hoping to be able to nudge him in that direction. Unfortunately, I don’t live in the same city as him, so it will be even more difficult to help him along. This will likely be a long-term effort with many small steps.

I’m going to see him at Christmas and I’m hoping to be able to be able to bring the conversation around to his fitness goals. Then I might be able to talk about how exercise can help him meet those goals. Hopefully I can convey that exercise doesn’t have to be a chore. It can be a (somewhat) enjoyable means to an end.

17

I’m sedate, to the extent that you’d almost think I [del]was[/del] am comatose. And yet I haven’t put on a pound for lo! these last 40 years or so! I think I must be blessed or something.

18

Yeah! A friend introduced me to the joys of long walks. First little ones, just over to the park and back. Then tougher ones, country trails, wilderness areas, and so on. And with company, it’s a lot easier than when alone. You just get to chatting, and next thing you know, four miles have gone by!

Once you start doing this sort of thing, it soon becomes “normal,” and now I go walkabout on my own if I don’t have a partner. I’m not “fit” by any means, but I’m a lot fitter than I was a few years ago.

19

Thanks for calling me out specifically. I hereby revise my statement:

The only ways to get someone onto the path of sustainable life long physical activity are to show them that it is enjoyable and something to look forward to, or to bully or scare them into it and hope it doesn’t eventually backfire.

I’ll add that sometimes people just aren’t aware of the effects their behavior is having, and educating them in a non judgmental way as to the simple cause and effect can wake them up out of harmful patterns. That could also be the case here.

20

My football coach way back in the day got me to start lifting. I remember after the first time I did it I was so that I had to literally had to roll myself off of bed the next day. I thought “never again” but my coach said he wouldn’t play me if I didn’t.

Once my body adjusted to it I grew to like it.