Whacky and marvelous sisters of various and sundry types...

My REAL sister (30 years old) went to the doc the other day for a checkup to see if she could get some help getting preggers. No…not that kind of help…he gave her a prescription.

The doc told her that judging from her weight/height ratio and general fitness level, he estimated her body fat percentage to be between 5 and 7 percent.

That’s FIVE and SEVEN percent. Don’t most people have that much in their lips?

My volunteer little sister went swimming with me this past weekend. I took along stuff for her to wash her hair with after the pool, since, of course, a 9-year-old never thinks of these things until they have a whackilicious mass of black snarls hanging to their waist.

After using my conditioner she said, “Oooo! My hair smells so good now! I like your hair cream! No wonder your hair is always so beautiful!”

So to recap, according to my Little Sister:

  1. I’m not very fat, and
  2. I have beautiful hair.

Now to make my real and pretend family relationships even MORE confusing, I also took my Little Sister’s REAL older sister swimming with us. I sort of think of her as “one of my girls” too, since I end up spending a lot of time with her. She is 12. After our trip to the pool, I have decided that Burqas are probably not that bad of an idea.

The poor girl. Does any one realize that boobies grow within a matter of five minutes? I’ve only known her for nine months and in that time she went from being a child, to asking me, “Do you think that boy is staring at me because he thinks I’m weird?” I told her he just thought she was nice and wanted to be friends.

She had to go swimming in a tank top because her bikini top wouldn’t cover her. And a 15 year old boy followed her around until we left.

Of course, I don’t want to limit her or force her to hide herself for real. But she is one of the SWEETEST people I know, regardless of age, so I was thinking of some really rational things to do to help her through her obvious confusion and upset about physically growing up and also to protect her…you know, like sealing her in burlap until she’s 25.

Short of that, does anyone know where I can get a bathing suit in a girls size or 16…or maybe a juniors size 5…this time of year?