In my craft grits is the grains in a grinding wheel or on sandpaper, emery cloth, Wet &Dry, diamond paste etc. I can’t see you eating that but I’m giggling away thinking about it.
So do this spastic a favour and please tell me, what are they? What’s the most humane way to kill it? How to cook im & best way to serve.
I’m curious I’ll try it, Thanking you.
Grits is a porridge made from ground hominy, a corn by-product. It’s generally a breakfast food and is eaten much the same way as oatmeal or cream of wheat.
I personally prefer sugar and butter in mine but many are quite vocal in believing they should be served with nothing but salt and butter.
grits are liberals. and you can’t kill them, the old ones just get sent to the senate. ok, they’re not all bad (they did give us trudeau) but still, you wouldn’t want to eat any; the odds of contamination are high.
In the days of yore, grits were revered as ambrosia, the food of the Gods. It was said to bestow immortality, ageless beauty, and unrivaled sexual stamina upon all who ingested it. Homer mentions it in the Illiad…
Lo! didst Achilles weep
For the beauty of Helen did fade
When one gazed upon grits.
Grits: nature’s perfect food.
This is the thread wherein we discover the Civil War is not over, it’s merely on hiatus.
Seriously, I know one or two misguided Yanks who like grits, and that’s about it. I think it’s something you have to be raised eating to appreciate.
Otherwise, you recognize it for the cooked chicken feed it is.
Are we still allowed to say “spastic”??
What does the Civil War have to do with grits? Why are yankees who like grits misguided? I know yankees who not only eat scrapple but claim to like it. Those yankees are the ones who are misguided, IMHO. Why do you attempt to denigrate southerners while failing to answer a simple question? I thought we were here to fight ignorance, not to demonstrate it.
Thank you for proving my point so aptly and quickly. I was attempting to be humorous in both observing and foretelling the great North / South divide on the issue of grits that always comes up when this question is asked. I apologize for any offense; I was equally teasing to both sides on purpose.
I am the one to apologize; I’m a cranky old bastard who failed to see the humor, although I don’t know how I managed to miss it. So, I apologize to you in turn.
Onliest way to eat grits is with a good runny fried egg on top and attack with vigorous crosswise swipes with a knife and fork till you ain got nothin only a gooey yellowish mess. Or either that or with cheese melted in, one.
Thanks for enlightening me Fellers,
And thanks for the laughs, particularly this one. Our Prime Minister is a liberal and at present they hold the majority in the senate, so to me it rings like C# on a Bb bell, (bad trumpet joke).
I know what hominey is cause I’ve fed it to our chooks, and I’ve eaten enough porridge over the years to make Oliver Twist crook. He’d be begging “please no more”). Hope the produce store has it in small bags and not a 30kilo sack.
So now I’ve gotta find my copies of Homer sit down and pig out. I will give this a burl, Too right I will.
As for the word spastic I don’t give a toss, I’ll call myself what I bloody well like. Next we’ll have to talk about stills & recipes, I make mine from old milk cans. I like stainless steel, and they end up looking & working like a Hot water system, preasure release valve and all, plugs straight into the garden tap. When the coppers took the last one they kept it, we didn’t know you could smell it tru the whole neighbourhood and we couldn’t get up of the ground. Talk about a gravity attack.
Anyways thanks again.
You have to get the water/grit ratio just right or your grits will come out too dry or too soupy. Grits should NOT be runny. (Eggs yes, grits no).
The directions on the package are generally fairly good as far as ratios go. If it looks too dry after the water has soaked in, add a TAD more at a time, don’t add a lot.
Don’t make the grits from the little packages if you want the real deal the first time out. Some of them are a decent imitation, but you need the cook on the stovetop ones for your first grit experience. 
Liberal amounts of butter and salt and pepper to taste. Voila! Yummy gritty goodness.
Hell, just come down to my house, it’s easier to make them for you than go through all this explainin’.
Grts are like southern Tofu. It goes with everything on your breakfast plate and bulks up the more flavorfull parts of breakfast. Nobody really eats it plain and everybody has their own fiercely debated way of eating them. I like mine with sausage or bacon mixed in. But if all else is missing, I will settle for salt and butter.
Apart from my sister, I was the only kid in my high school (Pop. 2,400+) who even knew what grits are, much less that ate them.
Thanks for the offer Jaade, but it’s a hell of a long walk and yes I will follow your instructions carefully. Just be prepared for my next question on how do I clean up the mess and should I buy a new saucepan.
Full disclosure: born in New Jersey, lived in Texas for a long stretch. I like grits. And my daughter warmed to them after we read the “Little House” books and I called grits “mush.” Sometimes it’s all in the presentation.
If the butter-and-salt style doesn’t work for you, try the garlic-and-cheese style. Just add a bit of minced garlic and grated parmesan or romano while it’s (they’re?) cooking. This may sound like Yankee heresy, but I was introduced to this recipe at Threadgill’s in Austin, Texas. I admit it’s essentially mushy polenta. I don’t care.
It’s more time-consuming to cook, but you need to buy coarse-grained unprocessed hominy and not the “quick” or (God forbid) “instant” variety. Quick grits are semi-tasteless and instant grits are suitable only for pouring down fire ant holes.
I see you live in, I’m guessing, England? You might actually have better luck looking for polenta (not neccesarilly cooked and prepared polenta, but a polentas mix.) Or just ground corn meal, since that’s what grits are made from.
Eating polenta or corn meal is like eating grits in the same way that drinking scotch is like eating barley.
And knowing is half the battle.
The other half is choking down the g%d#mn grits.
They are the South’s Great Mistake, rivaled only by Pickett’s Charge.
And since when does the UK have a Senate? 
Get a room.
The best for me to describe grits to my non-southern friends…
Surely you’ve heard of Cream Of Wheat.
Grits is Cream of Corn. (Or Hominy, but I frequently get asked “What’s hominy?”)